Visual Assassin
Bluelighter
Tonight started out like just about any other Friday night for me. I hadn't made plans to go out or do anything except sit at home and waste the time away. And, just like every other Friday night for the past few months, I've ended up doing anything but that.
It happened a little later than usual tonight. Usually, my brother Crazy's here between 8p and 9p to see if I want to go out to wherever, usually a club. Tonight, he showed up at about 1:30a, slightly off schedule. He says he has to work in the morning, so we will only be able to stay out for a couple hours. I personally didn't care how long it was going to be, I just wanted to get out of the house and do something. He says that he ate one about an hour prior to showing up, and it was hitting him quite nicely. No fireworks or anything, but a good, solid roll. About 2a, we go outside to have a cigarette and he hands one to me. So, I toss it back and go to take a shower so I don't have that "I've been sitting at home all day" smell on me when we go out.
So I'm all cleaned up and we leave around 2:20a. By the time the 10 minute drive to the club was over, I could feel the first effects of a nice smooth roll coming on. We get out of the car and head to the door, looking forward to seeing the familiar faces that are the only reason we still go out there. The music's good, yeah, but the people make it so much more enjoyable. Strangely enough, instead of feeling the insatiable urge to dance that normally wells up inside me, I'm more inclined to talk to people that I haven't seen in about a month.
Throughout the whole 2 hours or so we were at the club, I spent maybe a total of 10 minutes dancing. I was feeling extremely close to Crazy, Elvis, Produkdo, and all the other people I tend to hang around. This was probably prompted by the fact that I hadn't seen many of them for, as stated previously, a month or so. I was much more huggy than I usually am when in this altered state. I felt the joy and connectivity with others that I used to enjoy so much.
We left at about 4:30a, since Crazy has to be at work at 7a today. On the ride back to my house, we talked of Jedi, the force, and interself relations. Even after we arrived at my abode, we continued to talk until about 5:10a, when he said he really had to go so he could get home and get ready in time. We spent the time in blissful euphoria, enjoying one another's company as one would enjoy a deeply spiritual or highly enlightening experience. For the first time since we've known each other, it was stated aloud that we were family, not friends. I know it sounds corny, but you can't say (if you've had any experience with MDMA, in my opinion) that you have never felt the same way or somewhat similar.
Now it's about 6:20a, and I'm still feeling the effects quite strongly. Deep contemplation on my self and what I am, coupled with the occasional notice of some trivial matter of happiness, is what has prompted me to share this experience. And, that said, I'm off to do some journeying, guided by a mix given to me by a DJ from my old party town. When that is through, I will continue with the tale...
Conclusion:
It's about 7:40a now, and I am beginning to feel the onset of my comedown from this rather pleasurable experience. Around 5-10 minutes into a beautiful neurofunk mix, I found myself rising to a higher plane. This is a strange occurence for me, as I generally find myself poised at the mouth of a cave instead of the top of a tree when my journey begins. Although it was somewhat unfamiliar to me, I enjoyed the feeling of weightlessness brought on by having all my worries and cares lost in the music. Instead of trying to discover new questions and answers, I found myself examining those I already have before me.
I've come to understand that, while it is important to seek new areas and levels of enlightenment and knowing, it is equally as important to explore those which we have already come to understand, no matter how well. I wish I could give voice to all the new insights I found within the past hour, but I honestly don't think it's humanly possible to type them out. Something about that whole idea seems to take away the feeling of magnificence and awe that I am filled with right now.
As an end note, I ask that each and every individual who reads this post make an attempt, next time your consciousness is altered by anything you think you have grown used to or out of, to look not for new things, but to rediscover the familiar. You'll be surprised just what you'll find...
It happened a little later than usual tonight. Usually, my brother Crazy's here between 8p and 9p to see if I want to go out to wherever, usually a club. Tonight, he showed up at about 1:30a, slightly off schedule. He says he has to work in the morning, so we will only be able to stay out for a couple hours. I personally didn't care how long it was going to be, I just wanted to get out of the house and do something. He says that he ate one about an hour prior to showing up, and it was hitting him quite nicely. No fireworks or anything, but a good, solid roll. About 2a, we go outside to have a cigarette and he hands one to me. So, I toss it back and go to take a shower so I don't have that "I've been sitting at home all day" smell on me when we go out.
So I'm all cleaned up and we leave around 2:20a. By the time the 10 minute drive to the club was over, I could feel the first effects of a nice smooth roll coming on. We get out of the car and head to the door, looking forward to seeing the familiar faces that are the only reason we still go out there. The music's good, yeah, but the people make it so much more enjoyable. Strangely enough, instead of feeling the insatiable urge to dance that normally wells up inside me, I'm more inclined to talk to people that I haven't seen in about a month.
Throughout the whole 2 hours or so we were at the club, I spent maybe a total of 10 minutes dancing. I was feeling extremely close to Crazy, Elvis, Produkdo, and all the other people I tend to hang around. This was probably prompted by the fact that I hadn't seen many of them for, as stated previously, a month or so. I was much more huggy than I usually am when in this altered state. I felt the joy and connectivity with others that I used to enjoy so much.
We left at about 4:30a, since Crazy has to be at work at 7a today. On the ride back to my house, we talked of Jedi, the force, and interself relations. Even after we arrived at my abode, we continued to talk until about 5:10a, when he said he really had to go so he could get home and get ready in time. We spent the time in blissful euphoria, enjoying one another's company as one would enjoy a deeply spiritual or highly enlightening experience. For the first time since we've known each other, it was stated aloud that we were family, not friends. I know it sounds corny, but you can't say (if you've had any experience with MDMA, in my opinion) that you have never felt the same way or somewhat similar.
Now it's about 6:20a, and I'm still feeling the effects quite strongly. Deep contemplation on my self and what I am, coupled with the occasional notice of some trivial matter of happiness, is what has prompted me to share this experience. And, that said, I'm off to do some journeying, guided by a mix given to me by a DJ from my old party town. When that is through, I will continue with the tale...
Conclusion:
It's about 7:40a now, and I am beginning to feel the onset of my comedown from this rather pleasurable experience. Around 5-10 minutes into a beautiful neurofunk mix, I found myself rising to a higher plane. This is a strange occurence for me, as I generally find myself poised at the mouth of a cave instead of the top of a tree when my journey begins. Although it was somewhat unfamiliar to me, I enjoyed the feeling of weightlessness brought on by having all my worries and cares lost in the music. Instead of trying to discover new questions and answers, I found myself examining those I already have before me.
I've come to understand that, while it is important to seek new areas and levels of enlightenment and knowing, it is equally as important to explore those which we have already come to understand, no matter how well. I wish I could give voice to all the new insights I found within the past hour, but I honestly don't think it's humanly possible to type them out. Something about that whole idea seems to take away the feeling of magnificence and awe that I am filled with right now.
As an end note, I ask that each and every individual who reads this post make an attempt, next time your consciousness is altered by anything you think you have grown used to or out of, to look not for new things, but to rediscover the familiar. You'll be surprised just what you'll find...
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