ecstasy / experienced / rolling alone
Recently a thread in bluelight caught my eye on rolling alone, ironic, since i had planned on rolling solo long before. Monday afternoon I had the day off, boredom was killing me, and three and 1/2 pills {chanels, if anyone is familiar with them} were calling my name from within my little treasure chest of horrors. With consideration to work the following day and my own desire to not be completely obliterated, I took the half, settled into my chair, and waited for the feelings to wash me away.
I wasn't waiting long.
Within a half hour my body temperature rose a bit, and my heartbeat steadily pounded faster, perfectly synchronized with my breathing. I remember being distinctly amused by that. I was not all that physically affected by the pill--it was far more an emotional orgasm than anything vicks did for me. I realized fairly soon that the pill was cut largely with speed--no dopey sensations whatsoever. I spent the successive three hours before my computer as I am now, taking immense pleasure in simply talking to people online and listening to music. (i know, the originality of this post is wiping you all out
The song Silent Lucidity by Queensryche I played over and over and over.....the haunting familiarity and the ravishing tragedy of it left me gasping; half in pain, half in nirvana.
I drank large quantities of liquid (clear strawberry gatorade totally rocked my oral world) and smeared myself in vaporub. Eventually the idea of my spa lurred me away from the box, and although I was coming down at this point, the mother and her two children at the pool delighted as well as freaked me out. I asked her if she minded "if i turned on the bubbles?" ....she paused a moment and then looked at me, a bit confused, and said she didn't mind at all. That tripped me out for a second, not in a bad way, but left me wondering if she ... knew ? Yes, meth paranoia...
I left shortly, the spa not doing anything for me in comparison to another time I rolled for 4 straight hours in a jacuzzi, in such pleasure I was moaning unceasingly. Tough act to follow, I suppose. I got back to my room and broke open a pack of marlboro lights, becoming lost in the pleasure of the cigarettes (having low tolerance for cigarettes, i only treat myself when on drugs, or in extreme depression)....I was back online, and as before, the sheer stupid things people were saying, emails coming and going, etc, were positively scintillating--I kept telling people "why are you taking so long to reply???"
I came down, slowly and sweetly, feeling worn down but satisfied...as if I'd found a part of myself that lays neglected in sobriety. I highly recommend trying it alone, as it does not have any of the suggestion/depression/confusion that acid does in a similar situation (which I have also tried).
It is now wednesday and my heart is still beating at a quick pace--though less like a jackhammer; more like a clock's second hand. I loathe meth and all that it does, perhaps the only downside to my heavenly roll.
Recently a thread in bluelight caught my eye on rolling alone, ironic, since i had planned on rolling solo long before. Monday afternoon I had the day off, boredom was killing me, and three and 1/2 pills {chanels, if anyone is familiar with them} were calling my name from within my little treasure chest of horrors. With consideration to work the following day and my own desire to not be completely obliterated, I took the half, settled into my chair, and waited for the feelings to wash me away.
I wasn't waiting long.
Within a half hour my body temperature rose a bit, and my heartbeat steadily pounded faster, perfectly synchronized with my breathing. I remember being distinctly amused by that. I was not all that physically affected by the pill--it was far more an emotional orgasm than anything vicks did for me. I realized fairly soon that the pill was cut largely with speed--no dopey sensations whatsoever. I spent the successive three hours before my computer as I am now, taking immense pleasure in simply talking to people online and listening to music. (i know, the originality of this post is wiping you all out
The song Silent Lucidity by Queensryche I played over and over and over.....the haunting familiarity and the ravishing tragedy of it left me gasping; half in pain, half in nirvana. I drank large quantities of liquid (clear strawberry gatorade totally rocked my oral world) and smeared myself in vaporub. Eventually the idea of my spa lurred me away from the box, and although I was coming down at this point, the mother and her two children at the pool delighted as well as freaked me out. I asked her if she minded "if i turned on the bubbles?" ....she paused a moment and then looked at me, a bit confused, and said she didn't mind at all. That tripped me out for a second, not in a bad way, but left me wondering if she ... knew ? Yes, meth paranoia...
I left shortly, the spa not doing anything for me in comparison to another time I rolled for 4 straight hours in a jacuzzi, in such pleasure I was moaning unceasingly. Tough act to follow, I suppose. I got back to my room and broke open a pack of marlboro lights, becoming lost in the pleasure of the cigarettes (having low tolerance for cigarettes, i only treat myself when on drugs, or in extreme depression)....I was back online, and as before, the sheer stupid things people were saying, emails coming and going, etc, were positively scintillating--I kept telling people "why are you taking so long to reply???"
I came down, slowly and sweetly, feeling worn down but satisfied...as if I'd found a part of myself that lays neglected in sobriety. I highly recommend trying it alone, as it does not have any of the suggestion/depression/confusion that acid does in a similar situation (which I have also tried).
It is now wednesday and my heart is still beating at a quick pace--though less like a jackhammer; more like a clock's second hand. I loathe meth and all that it does, perhaps the only downside to my heavenly roll.
