OK I know this is an MDMA report but this is the most unsual MDMA experience I’ve ever had and I’ve been doing pills on and off since 1994. I’ve read the guidelines and if this is classified as simply “rollin’ balls” then I apologise in advance. All I can say is that I consider that I’ve rolled damn hard before and been sat on my ass by pills before but I’ve never experienced anything quite like this. I also know people have been knocked out by pills before but I write this because of the amazing amount of recall I have. Be prepared for a superlative overload – that’s how it felt.
This pretty long with a lot of background but I reckon its pretty important to understanding the experience.
Background
This took place at a festival – the weather was hot and sunny the whole time. I was already pretty tired and so decided to take things easy so I could enjoy as much of the weekend as possible. I smoked bud the whole weekend but managed to keep it at a reasonable level so that I could stay active.
Friday Night - some alcohol and a few spliffs and much partying. Slept 2 hours from 6am till 8am.
Saturday Day – sunshine, spliffs, friends, music – very busy, very happy.
Sat 10.30pm -some friends I made that day decide to take some shrooms. I decline as I intend to take a pill soon and want to keep things light and easy. I take 150mg 5-HTP + 150mg ALA (Alpha Lipoic Acid) as pre-load.
Sat 11.30pm – drop one pill. These are very good strong pills that tested as pure MDMA and reportedly are 130mg (but that could be bullshit). Anyway I’ve had several before from the same batch and they really are fantastic. The roll was much as expected - intense rushes, very loved up, lots of dancing, hugging and kissing total strangers. A really top class roll but nothing compared to what was to happen the next night.
L’s Trip
Sun 4am – the dance arena has closed. Still rolling pretty good and feeling very active and clear headed. I bump into one of the girls (L) who had taken the shrooms earlier. Discover she has also dropped one of the same pills and she is tripping hard. I guess the pill must be really drawing out the tail of the shrooms. She is sitting cross-legged, eyes closed and shaking her head to the rhythms coming from various sound systems and drummers. L is so happy her smile is incredible, I am able to follow her inner journey, I feel so connected to her although I know she is completely off in her own space. Being with her gets me rushing hard again.
Sun 5am – L is still in her own world and is working her self up into a state of sexual ecstasy. I think she is going to orgasm and it is incredible just being there with her – I’m still rushing hard.
Sun 5.30 am – L is back. I tell her what I saw. She tells me what she was going through and it corresponds almost exactly with what I sensed even to the point that she thought she was going to orgasm. She tells me that she has had the most incredible experience of her life and that she is a changed person.
Sun 6am - we head back to our tents to sleep. I take 200mg 5-HTP + 200mg ALA. I can only sleep till 8am as the sun is already too hot.
Sunday Day – I wander off to find friends, force myself to eat, listen to music and socialise. When I get back to the camp at 2pm I find L is leaving. She doesn’t want to talk and has to go. This leaves me feeling very sad for the rest of afternoon and my friends try to cheer me up.
Sun 9pm – take 150mg 5-HTP + 200mg ALA but am not sure if I will roll this evening.
Sun 10.30pm – I head of to the dance area. I’m still a bit sad but decide anyway to drop one pill from same batch as the previous night. I usually avoid taking pills if I’m not feeling happy so I let a friend know the situation.
Sun 10.40pm – meet a friend K and we go to have a smoke on the grass outside the dance area.
My Trip Begins
Sun 10.50pm – I’m coming up. The rushes are building and this is quicker and stronger than usual I ask K to hold my hand. These are not normal body or head rushes – my entire being is rushing.
Sun 11.00pm – Oh my god this intense. All I can do is lie on my back and close my eyes. The world dissolves away. I am no longer aware of any outside sensation. I no longer have a body. It’s as if I can actually feel the flood of serotonin in my brain. It is strangely unemotional as if I am being bombarded by sensation but can’t actually determine what the sensations are.
Here’s a bad analogy – imagine a sensation is a piece of paper with words on it. If someone pricks me on the back of my hand with a pin then the piece of paper has written on it “Ouch! – Something just pricked the back of my hand.” Only now there is a blizzard of a million tons of blank pieces of paper. Maybe some of them have information written on them but it’s impossible to tell.
Even the concept of self is weakening. Thinking is no longer possible in anyway I am used to. I am operating on only the most basic of levels.
The rush becomes overpowering - it is the only thing in my universe. I am the rush! Obviously some parts of my brain are still operating, as I am able to recall some of this stuff. However there seem to be blanks – it is impossible to tell what happens here or for how long – maybe my memory is also shutting down.
Thought processes recover and gradually I begin to get a grip on the rush and it changes from being overwhelmingly abstract to having a form I can describe. Rushing is definitely a good word for it. I really do seem to be rushing down some dark infinitely huge tunnel towards a pale halo of light. All about me are a billion, billion particles swirling and rushing and growing ever more dense and yet expanding. There seems to be more all the time. I am a single particle surrounded and yet I know that I am all of it. All is immense. The pressure is building – nothing has ever been so intense and yet it is able to grow more so. I have no concept of time only that things change. So much is contradictory.
A voice says “relax” and somehow I do. The halo of light hits me at light speed. Pow! The pressure releases and I let out a huge sigh and become aware that K is still holding my hand. There are other people holding me and someone is stroking my hair. I open my eyes and there are about eight of my friends sitting around me. I feel so safe but I still cannot lift my head from the ground. My friends talk to me but it is difficult to get a grip on what they are saying. All I can say is “This is soooo fucking intense!” and “This is it!”
The pressure starts to build again and I am soon speeding down the tunnel again. The pattern repeats many times – nothing but the tunnel of the rush and then back to being with my friends and gabbling about “the magic pill” and trying to convince my friends that I am fine and they should go and dance. This goes on for what was apparently over an hour. My grip on time is severely distorted as the rush totally takes me over.
As it progresses I become aware of sounds even while consumed by the rush. I am moaning and groaning like a bitch. I know I’m the one making the noises but I feel as if I am someone else listening to them. At one point I clear and sit up and say “My god, I sound like a badly dubbed porno.”
Sun Midnight – I can sit up now and better communicate with my friends. It’s a big group and people have been coming and going. I tell them they don’t have to stay and they should go dance. One friend replies that they were having a fantastic time just being with me. It dawns on me that the roles have been reversed from the previous night and I laugh manically. My vision is distorted as if looking through the ripples on a pond and everything is wobbling – I know this is common for some but I have only had it very mildly once before.
A few friends get up to go dance and I decide I ought to go with them. I am able to dance a bit but concentration and coordination are difficult as the rush is building again. Hugging my friends just makes it build more and I last about 20 minutes before I have to submit and go lie down again for another 30 minutes of surging through the tunnel of the rush.
Mon 00:45am - I’m sitting up and talking again. A friend (M) tells me his girlfriend Y is having a difficult time and asks me if I’d give her a hug. I have a mission, a purpose! I leap up, go to her and we lie on the grass hugging and I stroke her hair. We are both rushing hard but we energise each other and are coping much better now. The rush is back to the level I’m used to. Y has very cute friend (T) who also gets a big hug - Yum!
Mon 1.15am – The music in the dance arena has ended. Boo! I end up heading back to camp with some friends. Most of them are just sitting around smoking and talking but I am totally energised and feeling fantastic. This more like my normal MDMA experience now. The rushes are manageable and I can do other things at the same time. K and I leave the camp and head off to find some action. We eventually meet up with M, Y & T and party the night away with lots of dancing and cuddles. Occasionally I am sucked back into the tunnel of the rush but only for short periods and this diminishes over time. I eventually end up cuddled up to the ever so gorgeous T in a tepee and drifted off into the most blissful sleep at around 7am.
Afterthoughts
What can I say? An amazing weekend and the most incredible MDMA experience of my life and from just one pill! All though at the time it was difficult to feel any emotion while in the grip of the all consuming rush, I am so glad now that I experienced it.
The intensity was so completely overwhelming I’m surprised I didn’t become anxious or scared. Maybe it was having my friends there that kept me safe but it also seemed that in the grip of the rush I wasn’t able to form such concepts as safe or scared. My friends were definitely a great help during my more lucid moments.
It seems incredible that I had such an experience from just one pill and I had friends who thought I’d treble dropped or had taken some other psychedelics. It had all the hallmarks of the MDMA experience but seemed to be taken to another level altogether. It was also unlike my experiences of multiple pills in that not only was it so much more intense but that it also didn’t leave me fucked up for the night. In fact at no point did I consider myself fucked up though I suppose onlookers would say I was. I was all the more surprised because I had dropped the previous night (yes I know!) and wasn’t expecting to get as much from the pill as the night before.
My guess is that was a combination of the lack of sleep and food (ate very little all weekend), my emotional state, and the friends I was with that contributed to the experience. Also the fact that the setting was perfect may have allowed me to go where I went - I wouldn’t want to have experienced it in a club. Or maybe it was just a “magic pill”.
Oh - and I was fine but tired afterwards.
I’d be interested in any comments especially from those who have had similar experiences. And no – I can’t hook you up with any “magic pills”.
- Hauti
[This message has been edited by Hauti (edited 10 August 2001).]
[ 01 September 2002: Message edited by: masheadatronic ]
This pretty long with a lot of background but I reckon its pretty important to understanding the experience.
Background
This took place at a festival – the weather was hot and sunny the whole time. I was already pretty tired and so decided to take things easy so I could enjoy as much of the weekend as possible. I smoked bud the whole weekend but managed to keep it at a reasonable level so that I could stay active.
Friday Night - some alcohol and a few spliffs and much partying. Slept 2 hours from 6am till 8am.
Saturday Day – sunshine, spliffs, friends, music – very busy, very happy.
Sat 10.30pm -some friends I made that day decide to take some shrooms. I decline as I intend to take a pill soon and want to keep things light and easy. I take 150mg 5-HTP + 150mg ALA (Alpha Lipoic Acid) as pre-load.
Sat 11.30pm – drop one pill. These are very good strong pills that tested as pure MDMA and reportedly are 130mg (but that could be bullshit). Anyway I’ve had several before from the same batch and they really are fantastic. The roll was much as expected - intense rushes, very loved up, lots of dancing, hugging and kissing total strangers. A really top class roll but nothing compared to what was to happen the next night.
L’s Trip
Sun 4am – the dance arena has closed. Still rolling pretty good and feeling very active and clear headed. I bump into one of the girls (L) who had taken the shrooms earlier. Discover she has also dropped one of the same pills and she is tripping hard. I guess the pill must be really drawing out the tail of the shrooms. She is sitting cross-legged, eyes closed and shaking her head to the rhythms coming from various sound systems and drummers. L is so happy her smile is incredible, I am able to follow her inner journey, I feel so connected to her although I know she is completely off in her own space. Being with her gets me rushing hard again.
Sun 5am – L is still in her own world and is working her self up into a state of sexual ecstasy. I think she is going to orgasm and it is incredible just being there with her – I’m still rushing hard.
Sun 5.30 am – L is back. I tell her what I saw. She tells me what she was going through and it corresponds almost exactly with what I sensed even to the point that she thought she was going to orgasm. She tells me that she has had the most incredible experience of her life and that she is a changed person.
Sun 6am - we head back to our tents to sleep. I take 200mg 5-HTP + 200mg ALA. I can only sleep till 8am as the sun is already too hot.
Sunday Day – I wander off to find friends, force myself to eat, listen to music and socialise. When I get back to the camp at 2pm I find L is leaving. She doesn’t want to talk and has to go. This leaves me feeling very sad for the rest of afternoon and my friends try to cheer me up.
Sun 9pm – take 150mg 5-HTP + 200mg ALA but am not sure if I will roll this evening.
Sun 10.30pm – I head of to the dance area. I’m still a bit sad but decide anyway to drop one pill from same batch as the previous night. I usually avoid taking pills if I’m not feeling happy so I let a friend know the situation.
Sun 10.40pm – meet a friend K and we go to have a smoke on the grass outside the dance area.
My Trip Begins
Sun 10.50pm – I’m coming up. The rushes are building and this is quicker and stronger than usual I ask K to hold my hand. These are not normal body or head rushes – my entire being is rushing.
Sun 11.00pm – Oh my god this intense. All I can do is lie on my back and close my eyes. The world dissolves away. I am no longer aware of any outside sensation. I no longer have a body. It’s as if I can actually feel the flood of serotonin in my brain. It is strangely unemotional as if I am being bombarded by sensation but can’t actually determine what the sensations are.
Here’s a bad analogy – imagine a sensation is a piece of paper with words on it. If someone pricks me on the back of my hand with a pin then the piece of paper has written on it “Ouch! – Something just pricked the back of my hand.” Only now there is a blizzard of a million tons of blank pieces of paper. Maybe some of them have information written on them but it’s impossible to tell.
Even the concept of self is weakening. Thinking is no longer possible in anyway I am used to. I am operating on only the most basic of levels.
The rush becomes overpowering - it is the only thing in my universe. I am the rush! Obviously some parts of my brain are still operating, as I am able to recall some of this stuff. However there seem to be blanks – it is impossible to tell what happens here or for how long – maybe my memory is also shutting down.
Thought processes recover and gradually I begin to get a grip on the rush and it changes from being overwhelmingly abstract to having a form I can describe. Rushing is definitely a good word for it. I really do seem to be rushing down some dark infinitely huge tunnel towards a pale halo of light. All about me are a billion, billion particles swirling and rushing and growing ever more dense and yet expanding. There seems to be more all the time. I am a single particle surrounded and yet I know that I am all of it. All is immense. The pressure is building – nothing has ever been so intense and yet it is able to grow more so. I have no concept of time only that things change. So much is contradictory.
A voice says “relax” and somehow I do. The halo of light hits me at light speed. Pow! The pressure releases and I let out a huge sigh and become aware that K is still holding my hand. There are other people holding me and someone is stroking my hair. I open my eyes and there are about eight of my friends sitting around me. I feel so safe but I still cannot lift my head from the ground. My friends talk to me but it is difficult to get a grip on what they are saying. All I can say is “This is soooo fucking intense!” and “This is it!”
The pressure starts to build again and I am soon speeding down the tunnel again. The pattern repeats many times – nothing but the tunnel of the rush and then back to being with my friends and gabbling about “the magic pill” and trying to convince my friends that I am fine and they should go and dance. This goes on for what was apparently over an hour. My grip on time is severely distorted as the rush totally takes me over.
As it progresses I become aware of sounds even while consumed by the rush. I am moaning and groaning like a bitch. I know I’m the one making the noises but I feel as if I am someone else listening to them. At one point I clear and sit up and say “My god, I sound like a badly dubbed porno.”
Sun Midnight – I can sit up now and better communicate with my friends. It’s a big group and people have been coming and going. I tell them they don’t have to stay and they should go dance. One friend replies that they were having a fantastic time just being with me. It dawns on me that the roles have been reversed from the previous night and I laugh manically. My vision is distorted as if looking through the ripples on a pond and everything is wobbling – I know this is common for some but I have only had it very mildly once before.
A few friends get up to go dance and I decide I ought to go with them. I am able to dance a bit but concentration and coordination are difficult as the rush is building again. Hugging my friends just makes it build more and I last about 20 minutes before I have to submit and go lie down again for another 30 minutes of surging through the tunnel of the rush.
Mon 00:45am - I’m sitting up and talking again. A friend (M) tells me his girlfriend Y is having a difficult time and asks me if I’d give her a hug. I have a mission, a purpose! I leap up, go to her and we lie on the grass hugging and I stroke her hair. We are both rushing hard but we energise each other and are coping much better now. The rush is back to the level I’m used to. Y has very cute friend (T) who also gets a big hug - Yum!
Mon 1.15am – The music in the dance arena has ended. Boo! I end up heading back to camp with some friends. Most of them are just sitting around smoking and talking but I am totally energised and feeling fantastic. This more like my normal MDMA experience now. The rushes are manageable and I can do other things at the same time. K and I leave the camp and head off to find some action. We eventually meet up with M, Y & T and party the night away with lots of dancing and cuddles. Occasionally I am sucked back into the tunnel of the rush but only for short periods and this diminishes over time. I eventually end up cuddled up to the ever so gorgeous T in a tepee and drifted off into the most blissful sleep at around 7am.
Afterthoughts
What can I say? An amazing weekend and the most incredible MDMA experience of my life and from just one pill! All though at the time it was difficult to feel any emotion while in the grip of the all consuming rush, I am so glad now that I experienced it.
The intensity was so completely overwhelming I’m surprised I didn’t become anxious or scared. Maybe it was having my friends there that kept me safe but it also seemed that in the grip of the rush I wasn’t able to form such concepts as safe or scared. My friends were definitely a great help during my more lucid moments.
It seems incredible that I had such an experience from just one pill and I had friends who thought I’d treble dropped or had taken some other psychedelics. It had all the hallmarks of the MDMA experience but seemed to be taken to another level altogether. It was also unlike my experiences of multiple pills in that not only was it so much more intense but that it also didn’t leave me fucked up for the night. In fact at no point did I consider myself fucked up though I suppose onlookers would say I was. I was all the more surprised because I had dropped the previous night (yes I know!) and wasn’t expecting to get as much from the pill as the night before.
My guess is that was a combination of the lack of sleep and food (ate very little all weekend), my emotional state, and the friends I was with that contributed to the experience. Also the fact that the setting was perfect may have allowed me to go where I went - I wouldn’t want to have experienced it in a club. Or maybe it was just a “magic pill”.
Oh - and I was fine but tired afterwards.
I’d be interested in any comments especially from those who have had similar experiences. And no – I can’t hook you up with any “magic pills”.
- Hauti
[This message has been edited by Hauti (edited 10 August 2001).]
[ 01 September 2002: Message edited by: masheadatronic ]
