I'm a pretty straight shooter 99.999999% of the time. I've never been arrested, I've never really committed a crime, I didn't have my first drink until March of this year (I'm 18, so I guess that's not a terrible record), and that was only through good, old fashioned peer pressure. My entire life can easily be summarized by any socially awkward penguin picture. Up until the end of last year, I barely knew ecstasy existed. I had heard of it to be sure, but I didn't really know what it did. One of my friends, we'll call her Tammy, is a very experienced roller, and she's worked in the nightclub business for a good number of years and has connections to some strong stuff. It was her that gave me my first pill. I begged her for it, it wasn't like it was forced upon me... you're getting bored of this aren't you? Ok, long story short, I saved the pill for a rave at Red Rocks with myself, my two neighbors/best friends and my little brother who would flip if he found out I was trying ecstasy. While it was stressful as hell to get in, what followed was astonishing. Much of the information in here is approximate. I barely touched the pill, let alone weighed it, and heaven knows last thing I was looking at was a clock. But here's my experience to the best of my knowledge
11:00pm after working up the courage to do so for about an hour, I finally pop half the pill in my mouth. It was a salmon-y pill with JJ on the side. It's bitter unlike anything I've ever tasted before. Not like bitter food, but just pure bitter. I was going to keep it under my tongue but opt for a quick drink of water instead. My heart races waiting.
11:30 I think as a side effect of my eyes widening, my vision gets a little "wider." I feel like I can see more than usual. Everything feels a bit strange, but nothing severe. I figure it's been long enough and decide to stick the second half under my tongue. I manage to keep it under my tongue and even enjoy the taste a bit in a weird way.
11:45 My sensation at this point can only be described with these emoticons:
It's pure bliss. I'm a big guy with a pretty high drug tolerance, so I imagine usually this sensation is a little stronger, but, wow, I was not prepared for it to be this good. I grab one of my friends and give her a huge hug. I'm so used to hating crowds, used to being anti-social, but I'm happy in the crowd. I usually suffer from crushing anxiety. It keeps me contained, but it's flat up gone. I'm happy and all I care about at that moment is the gorgeous light show in front of me. The shapes look 3d and the visuals are astonishing. All I want to do is dance, and smile and feel the love. I'm sorry if I'm rambling a little bit, but it was so amazing that I can't really explain in words what it was like for me. The socially awkward, tall crazy kid feels loved, that's not something you get used to.
12:10 despite wanting to do nothing less, we decide to leave the concert. I'm still rolling like crazy, but I leave so as not to torture my friends. I'm surprised how well I'm keeping it together for my brother, who would rat me out in a second if he knew. On the car drive home, we talk. I hear everyone's voices echoing off the sides of the car. I hear the detail in their voices and it's wonderful. We get home, and I go say good night to my parents. Managed to keep it together for them, too. the only thing that gave me away was the amount of effort I went through to hug my mom good night and then walk all the way around and hug my dad good night. Usually I don't bother with my dad.
12:30 I get in the shower, and it's awesome. It all just feels amazing. I've heard warm water feels incredible on your skin when you're rolling, but I didn't get that so much. What I really got was after the shower brushing my teeth with my sonicare. For the record, that's the one thing I would recommend to anyone who wants something interesting to try while rolling. Nothing feels better.
1:15 I call my friend Tammy from bed. have my feet moving back and forth between my covers. It's like love. when she picks up, all I can say is "Oh my god, oh my god" It's beyond amazing. She's exhausted, I can hear it in her voice, but she's happy to listen to me talk. I tell her about my experience, how amazing it was and still is. She tells me how happy it makes her I'm happy, and that feels really good. I made someone happy!! I like doing that anyway, but doubly so at this point. I let her get back to bed. I listen to music for another 45 minutes and head back to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and could tell something was a little off. I feel "out" of happy. Not completely out, but just lacking. I watch some stupid TV on my phone and that takes my mind off of it. I look back on the experience with a combination of love and hate. I found the experience amazing, but at the same time, the little Republican in me hates the fact that I was a babbling idiot in love with all the world. At any rate, it was something I didn't feel I want to do again immediately, but at the same time I still wanted to do it again at some point. It was so amazing, and if you're thinking about ecstasy, and you have a reliable source, go for it! you won't regret it, I promise.
11:00pm after working up the courage to do so for about an hour, I finally pop half the pill in my mouth. It was a salmon-y pill with JJ on the side. It's bitter unlike anything I've ever tasted before. Not like bitter food, but just pure bitter. I was going to keep it under my tongue but opt for a quick drink of water instead. My heart races waiting.
11:30 I think as a side effect of my eyes widening, my vision gets a little "wider." I feel like I can see more than usual. Everything feels a bit strange, but nothing severe. I figure it's been long enough and decide to stick the second half under my tongue. I manage to keep it under my tongue and even enjoy the taste a bit in a weird way.
11:45 My sensation at this point can only be described with these emoticons:
It's pure bliss. I'm a big guy with a pretty high drug tolerance, so I imagine usually this sensation is a little stronger, but, wow, I was not prepared for it to be this good. I grab one of my friends and give her a huge hug. I'm so used to hating crowds, used to being anti-social, but I'm happy in the crowd. I usually suffer from crushing anxiety. It keeps me contained, but it's flat up gone. I'm happy and all I care about at that moment is the gorgeous light show in front of me. The shapes look 3d and the visuals are astonishing. All I want to do is dance, and smile and feel the love. I'm sorry if I'm rambling a little bit, but it was so amazing that I can't really explain in words what it was like for me. The socially awkward, tall crazy kid feels loved, that's not something you get used to.12:10 despite wanting to do nothing less, we decide to leave the concert. I'm still rolling like crazy, but I leave so as not to torture my friends. I'm surprised how well I'm keeping it together for my brother, who would rat me out in a second if he knew. On the car drive home, we talk. I hear everyone's voices echoing off the sides of the car. I hear the detail in their voices and it's wonderful. We get home, and I go say good night to my parents. Managed to keep it together for them, too. the only thing that gave me away was the amount of effort I went through to hug my mom good night and then walk all the way around and hug my dad good night. Usually I don't bother with my dad.
12:30 I get in the shower, and it's awesome. It all just feels amazing. I've heard warm water feels incredible on your skin when you're rolling, but I didn't get that so much. What I really got was after the shower brushing my teeth with my sonicare. For the record, that's the one thing I would recommend to anyone who wants something interesting to try while rolling. Nothing feels better.
1:15 I call my friend Tammy from bed. have my feet moving back and forth between my covers. It's like love. when she picks up, all I can say is "Oh my god, oh my god" It's beyond amazing. She's exhausted, I can hear it in her voice, but she's happy to listen to me talk. I tell her about my experience, how amazing it was and still is. She tells me how happy it makes her I'm happy, and that feels really good. I made someone happy!! I like doing that anyway, but doubly so at this point. I let her get back to bed. I listen to music for another 45 minutes and head back to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and could tell something was a little off. I feel "out" of happy. Not completely out, but just lacking. I watch some stupid TV on my phone and that takes my mind off of it. I look back on the experience with a combination of love and hate. I found the experience amazing, but at the same time, the little Republican in me hates the fact that I was a babbling idiot in love with all the world. At any rate, it was something I didn't feel I want to do again immediately, but at the same time I still wanted to do it again at some point. It was so amazing, and if you're thinking about ecstasy, and you have a reliable source, go for it! you won't regret it, I promise.
