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March into a better day!

ocean

ocean

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 7, 2007
Messages
18,626
Location
In the shadow of the mountains by the sea
Happy March everyone!

We've been thinking about creating a thread where we can bring some positivity into our days.
This will work similarly to our Octsober threads-
Only the focus will be setting goals for a healthy, positive, happier lifestyle- whether this be lessening your drug/alcohol use, finding new ways of dealing with anxiety, eating better or doing daily affirmations!

We encourage you to post your ideas on how you can improve your life-
This can be creating a checklist of realistic goals, listing positive thoughts, ideas on different ways to approach day to day trials............

This will just generally be a place of sharing positive thoughts and encouraging others to live the best days they can.

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For March my goals that I hope can be obtainable are:

* not miss appointments with my specialist for self harm / really limit the damage I do to myself

* make sure that I take time to actually love myself , not just play lip service but recognize I do have some decent characteristics as a person.

* *cross fingers* maybe one of the 7 job applications i've put in + the interview monday will go well. I need work badly

* Since no matter how long I go clean, I end up sabotaging myself, get on a sub doctor and stay on a LOW (2-4mg) day dose. This will allow me to adress all the other issues mentally without the thought of using back there 24/7.

*Be a better man to other people esp my beautiful lady, who has always been there and absolutely deserves the best.

* keep my violence in check , this will be a REAL challenge

***most of all, find more stability in myself and implement it****

-- stick things out, don't start and then burn out before the situation is completed --
 
^Those are excellent goal taow :)

Throughout March I would like to work on generally being more aware of my responses to stressful and new situations.
I would like to continue being positive and work on getting healthy.
I am working on losing weight, so eating healthy and being more active are high on my lists of things I'd like to do to better myself throughout this month and the coming months.....
 
=D

well ive marched on and stomped my self down to .25mg of klonopin every 24 hours for 4 days now.
staying very cautious, but optimistic about this, a bit of a stale-mate at this dose, but...

=D
 
Found individual groups for PTSD , male rape "victims", and back to NA tonight..

don't have to intertwine everything, i'll keep that one on one with counseling.

not looking forward to any of this but I need to take steps forward.
 
keep looking forward and let it happen...

the pain of doing so is to help minimalize the inhibiting pain that may be further in the future.
think of it as a rebirth,,, this is not a pleasant experience in reality,
for the time being; it hurting/bringing fear only means you are doing it right -- IMHO --
imagine the thoughts and difficulty of the process as illusions to distract you from yourself
and ultimate goal for yourself.
 
This month I am looking forward to jumping off of methadone, and doing a short taper with suboxone. I want to be off of opiates. I want my old life back. I am tired of being so depressed. Anxious. Imsomnia. PTSD. I beat cancer no problem but fucking opiates are near impossible. Sometimes I know that if it wasn't for my mom I would definitely have fatally OD'd by now or blown my brains out or jumped in front of a train or all of the above.

I know good times are in my future, if I put the work in NOW to get there. Getting there is the part that is nigh impossible. I don't know. Life is a cruel game that I cannot win. I will never win, the only way to win is by dying. Then I get the ultimate prize, the prize of PEACE. Eternal bliss and nothingness, without the need for drugs. Even the rare moments of good sleep I get my dreams are haunted by everything and anything. I can't stop seeing my recently deceased father in them. I love seeing him in my dreams but its so hard at the same time. I want to be ont he same plane of reality as he.

I don't know.
 
For March I want to find the ladder, so I can put my foot on the first rung. I too want my old life back.
My friend sent me her buddist daily quote just now.

"There is no happiness without courage nor virtue without struggle." Without courage there is no happiness and it is impossible to create a life of value. This is an unchanging rule of human existence.

So today I aim to have the courage, to continue to get my mind and body free of toxins, to be kind to myself and others.
The spring is coming here, buds on trees, flowers poking through the cold ground. I want to grow with them this month.
Thank you to you all.
bx
 
trll said:
"There is no happiness without courage nor virtue without struggle." Without courage there is no happiness and it is impossible to create a life of value. This is an unchanging rule of human existence.

So today I aim to have the courage, to continue to get my mind and body free of toxins, to be kind to myself and others.
The spring is coming here, buds on trees, flowers poking through the cold ground. I want to grow with them this month.
Thank you to you all.
bx
Click to expand...

This brought a huge smile to my face(and I was really not in a smiling mood today! ;))
Thanks for posting this Trll and I am going to borrow that Buddhist Quote for this month too. <3

_______________________________________________________________
I definitely have to get my Diet and Excercise more consistently on Track.
Really need to keep my strength, cant go Gambling with my health anymore...years of it has already taken it's toll...
Also gotta get real about staying away from people that I feel uncomfortable around, I can't bargain things anymore with myself, I dont have an E.D. or drugs there to support me in breaking my own boundaries, so I cant afford to.

...which leads me to Alcohol and Cig's, well Alcohol anyway...
If needs be I will address this issue more seriously, may have to, am seriously considering it but for the time being I'm sticking with the above as a priority.
Everything else will flow fine and be manageable if I'm taking care of myself properly.
 
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Today I am 90 days clean from a 10 year opiate addiction. These 90 days have been the hardest days of my life, but I have endured, and for that I am grateful.

Because of the size and duration of my addiction, I gave myself six months from my clean date to start making positive changes. Today, I am cutting three months off that time, because I am ready.

My goals for the rest of this month are to

1) start taking prozac again. The only period in my life where I was happy, healthy and productive was the single year I religiously took my prozac, and that was 15 years ago.

2) say goodbye to the unhealthy behaviors I cling to that WILL disappear with the introduction of an SSRI. Try to learn that my dark & damaged side does not define me or make me interesting and that if I am positive and warm and receptive and self-nurturing it does not make me one of the bland generic masses. Cutting and starving myself isn't cool, and if I stop those things, I will still be me. I have been defined by my self-destructive behaviors for so long...I know this won't be easy. I'm ready to fight.

3) Get out of the house every single day while it is still light out.
 
clementines_ghost said:
Today I am 90 days clean from a 10 year opiate addiction. These 90 days have been the hardest days of my life, but I have endured, and for that I am grateful.
Click to expand...

^ Well Done on the 90 days! Awesome =D


Try to learn that my dark & damaged side does not define me or make me interesting and that if I am positive and warm and receptive and self-nurturing it does not make me one of the bland generic masses. Cutting and starving myself isn't cool, and if I stop those things, I will still be me. I have been defined by my self-destructive behaviors for so long...I know this won't be easy. I'm ready to fight.
Click to expand...

I la la la love this, am gleeful just reading it!!!!!!!!! =D=D=D

I <3 your post, your attitude and your mature, realistic philosophy!
 
Going to try and stop myself from starting meth and coke, and cut down on my smoking. Maybe try to make a friend who I can talk to about my problems.
 
Well My March I want to quit All drugs all together!! No more heroin. Ive got 4 days clean and dont plan on going back only by the grace and mercy of God!!

Everyone please pray for me!!!

thanks
 
I'm glad to say this is a week under my belt. I feel good right now, my depression swings into full gear more or less as the sun goes down. The evenings have been very hard. I'm on eggshells but a lot of people have been very supportive, it really means a lot. I can't believe how much / how many wonderful people I took for granted on this last run, and it sucks. I look forward to making amends but I have a long way to go and a lot of work to do. If i put a 1/10th of the effort into this that I did into getting to this point.. I should be good.
one <3
 
one fucking day at a time OD , 1 at a time. I know it's not for everyone but it sure helps me bro.
 
easy does it..
but for the grace of god..
live and let live..
and
first things first..

:)
 
ocean said:
^Those are excellent goal taow :)

Throughout March I would like to work on generally being more aware of my responses to stressful and new situations.
I would like to continue being positive and work on getting healthy.
I am working on losing weight, so eating healthy and being more active are high on my lists of things I'd like to do to better myself throughout this month and the coming months.....
Click to expand...


Well I have not done well on most of these things- I HAVE lost another 5 lbs but fell into a deep deep depression so my positivity and activity level dropped dramatically.
Hopefully that will start to change now.....

Good job to those of you who have made great strides so far this month!!
 
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