Pfafffed
Bluelight Crew
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- Jun 30, 2015
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MAL / METHYLALLYLESCALINE - 25mg + 5mg rectal - Second time by this ROA
tl;dr - I've had many good experiences with MAL. This wasn't one of them. Nor was it a bad one. It was just an inexplicable, dull, gross nothingburger.
This New Year's Eve was supposed to be for mescaline, but I misjudged the amount that I had ready for use. Considering our options, my friend and I opted for methallylescaline instead. I've had many experiences with it in the past, and I value it alongside mescaline. They're not the same, but they both have value. Based on our one previous staggered rectal dosing experience last time, with it's quick onset and linear comeup with minimal nausea, we went for that route. I decided to try 25mg right out the gate. My friend did as well, but they unexpectedly found that they needed to void after just seven minutes. They added in 7mg more (and later boosted with me.) I will focus on my timeline here for this reason. I had 20mg of 4C-D two days prior, but expect no tolerance. My friend and I have taken 5mg of tadalafil over the last two days, as well as 2mg today. No other expected interactions. I ate my normal light breakfast of breakfast cookies and granola bites and prunes and pecans with tea. My usual oral dose of MAL is 20 for light and easy empathogenesis and euphoria, but a little lacking. 30 for gateway psychedelia, but sometimes shooting past euphoria and empathy. 25mg can be the Goldilocks zone on a good day. I assume now that rectal is likely equipotent. I'm not sure why rectal onset is so, so much faster. I don't think it has anything to do with first pass metabolism, but who knows.
10:30 Dosed
10:35 Alert? Not sure
10:45 Onset
11:00 to 11:10 mini plateau. Neutral character, slightly metallic. Very linear comeup so far. Time dilation already starting to make itself present. I had forgotten how it can be a little cognitively debilitating at this stage. Hands slightly shaky. Lemon drop staved off nausea. I feel the positive energy of the drug pushing out embodied cognitive irritation. My fried was visibly annoyed that our once every 2-3 year mescaline trip was thwarted.
11:25 Creeping upwards in intensity again. A single familiar rainbow smear CEV (the only distinct visual of the experience)
11:43 No increase in intensity. At a dark, clouded, pleasant, but dull ++. I'm more altered than tripping. Throughout, my body has had a not unpleasant restless energy, but not an electric hum. My visual field is glossy and luminous and slightly disordered, but that's the limit of visual activity. Cognitively, I'm more debilitated than tripping at this point - none of mescaline's clarity is yet apparent. I can't tell if this murk is going to define this trip, or if additional material is needed to push through into higher energetic intensity as with a classic phenethylamine underdose. I keep debating the planned booster.
12:00 Snack on some peanuts. Could only eat a handful, but it wasn't hard. My friend and I fool around in the bedroom for a while. It's quite nice, but it always is. Nothing at all special by psychedelic standards, and I don't feel much closer or warmer or more connected.
12:45 Snack on some peanut butter with milk. Not starving, but I want to stay on top of my blood sugar.
12:55 5mg booster administered
1:30 Experience mildly more full and satisfactory, but my mood has been consistently well on the dark side of neutral since the comeup. Took a big old chaw of CBD just for a little positive push. It rapidly appeared to help push me more towards neutral. I decided to go outside to get some fresh air and a change of scenery. The forest is cold, wet, and dreary, but I still appreciate it. I just don't want to wrestle with getting myself dressed for the weather for how unappealing it is. I do get a strong sense of how my attention is too diffuse, spilling over into preventing future peril and loss, that I don't spend enough time feeling genuinely happy for my health and safety, and for the health and safety of my loved ones. Those are certain to be lost over time, so there is no time like the present to enthusiastically embrace happiness at my current good fortune. There is no other moment to be happy other than the one that we have now.
2:00 My friend is chilly, so I urge them to order some hearty takeout, then I turn up the thermostat. They're having trouble urinating, but not as much as usual with MAL. Thermoregulation and difficulty peeing are the side-effects that keep my eye on with MAL, but these aren't worrying here. I begin to develop a very mild headache (probably tadalafil, but could be mild jaw and neck tension.) I'm developing a bit of sinus and bronchial congestion like I typically do with 2C-B. I end up doing some deep lung coughing for the next several hours. So much for the health and vitality of mescaline!
3:00 Eat a curry. Well, my friend does. I manage to shovel 4-5 bites in, then drink a mango lassi. Experience continues to be...whatever.
4:00 While not being difficult, this experience isn't enjoyable at all anymore and I'm rather over it. The weather outside makes a change of scenery undesirable. Gas cramps are creeping in, which usually indicates descent. Somehow despite gas discomfort and with no libido, I agree to cuddling and one thing leads to another. I was at my darkest outlook, and this de-funked me quite a bit. So dark was my outlook, I do think that is was likely the least enjoyable sex that I've ever had on a psychedelic, but it was definitely beneficial.
4:30 Took 1mg etizolam. Not enough to abort the trip and possibly undetectable. I don't really have any anxiety, but I wouldn't mind throwing some ash on top of the fire to smother it a bit. I don't really know if it made much of an impact. Had some nitrous and it didn't really do much, which was a little odd since I definitely felt like I was still at a ++.
5:00 Finally started to expel some gas. No longer at a ++. It's very early to be this far down. MAL usually lasts over 12 hours for me, sometimes over 14 iirc.
8:30 My friend fell asleep on the couch, then got up and migrated to bed around 9:00. I was yawning, but held off and went to bed at 9:30. I fell asleep immediately, but work to my friend's sneeze an hour later. I took a (5mg?) pill of diazepam. It had no effect. I felt down, but the energy was still present in my body.
12:00 With the fireworks and artillery starting, I knew I needed more help to sleep. I took a second tablet of diazepam for the first time, falling asleep shortly after.
Next day: I woke at 8am, feeling rested with just a little bit of residual Valium floating around.
A similar experience has happened at least twice before if memory serves. Both of those times were with the same (glorious) batch of 5-MeO-MiPT. I took a normal amount via the normal route, and it kicked in fast, but went absolutely nowhere. I just had an inexplicably bland, dull, and stoning experience that was many hours shorter than would be typical of the dose. The strange thing about these experiences: my friend took the same dose of the same material, and they experienced the same miscarriage of a trip. Here again, we debriefed after and shared that we had the same experience. They described it as chemical and dull (despite it being stronger than they wanted for a spell after cannabis.) They said that they felt uncomfortable in the space throughout. They even took some CBD to address it going sideways after they vaped some cannabis. They also mentioned that the considered a benzo to abort just because they were dissatisfied, but decided not to. I'm struggling to describe the character of mine, too, because it wasn't challenging. It was just...grotty. I wasn't depressed, but my outlook on the present and the future was broadly more negative than when I was sober. The reduced joy and positivity didn't feel psychedelic or enchanted or pushed - they felt natural. My normal sober attitude was just more dysphoric than it had been a couple of hours earlier. I entertained that maybe it was an accurate representation of my outlook over the last two months, revealed from concealment beneath my outward presentation, but that seemed facile and wouldn't explain the shared experience of my friend.
My friend had been planning a break from tryptamines (they've used more psychedelics than me over the last year or two - I've not made the time for them.) After this, they said they'll likely be taking a long break from all of them. I've had quite a few mixed experiences with my beloved 'scalines over the last couple of years, and I've attributed half-seriously to ondansetron. That can't have been the case this time, making me increasingly reluctant to revisit my favorite class of psychedelics. The work, body load, and time commitment are considerable to have a bland experience half the time. I kind of figured that the lack of surging vital energy in the last few years was likely due to aging, but the rest I can't explain.
tl;dr - I've had many good experiences with MAL. This wasn't one of them. Nor was it a bad one. It was just an inexplicable, dull, gross nothingburger.
This New Year's Eve was supposed to be for mescaline, but I misjudged the amount that I had ready for use. Considering our options, my friend and I opted for methallylescaline instead. I've had many experiences with it in the past, and I value it alongside mescaline. They're not the same, but they both have value. Based on our one previous staggered rectal dosing experience last time, with it's quick onset and linear comeup with minimal nausea, we went for that route. I decided to try 25mg right out the gate. My friend did as well, but they unexpectedly found that they needed to void after just seven minutes. They added in 7mg more (and later boosted with me.) I will focus on my timeline here for this reason. I had 20mg of 4C-D two days prior, but expect no tolerance. My friend and I have taken 5mg of tadalafil over the last two days, as well as 2mg today. No other expected interactions. I ate my normal light breakfast of breakfast cookies and granola bites and prunes and pecans with tea. My usual oral dose of MAL is 20 for light and easy empathogenesis and euphoria, but a little lacking. 30 for gateway psychedelia, but sometimes shooting past euphoria and empathy. 25mg can be the Goldilocks zone on a good day. I assume now that rectal is likely equipotent. I'm not sure why rectal onset is so, so much faster. I don't think it has anything to do with first pass metabolism, but who knows.
10:30 Dosed
10:35 Alert? Not sure
10:45 Onset
11:00 to 11:10 mini plateau. Neutral character, slightly metallic. Very linear comeup so far. Time dilation already starting to make itself present. I had forgotten how it can be a little cognitively debilitating at this stage. Hands slightly shaky. Lemon drop staved off nausea. I feel the positive energy of the drug pushing out embodied cognitive irritation. My fried was visibly annoyed that our once every 2-3 year mescaline trip was thwarted.
11:25 Creeping upwards in intensity again. A single familiar rainbow smear CEV (the only distinct visual of the experience)
11:43 No increase in intensity. At a dark, clouded, pleasant, but dull ++. I'm more altered than tripping. Throughout, my body has had a not unpleasant restless energy, but not an electric hum. My visual field is glossy and luminous and slightly disordered, but that's the limit of visual activity. Cognitively, I'm more debilitated than tripping at this point - none of mescaline's clarity is yet apparent. I can't tell if this murk is going to define this trip, or if additional material is needed to push through into higher energetic intensity as with a classic phenethylamine underdose. I keep debating the planned booster.
12:00 Snack on some peanuts. Could only eat a handful, but it wasn't hard. My friend and I fool around in the bedroom for a while. It's quite nice, but it always is. Nothing at all special by psychedelic standards, and I don't feel much closer or warmer or more connected.
12:45 Snack on some peanut butter with milk. Not starving, but I want to stay on top of my blood sugar.
12:55 5mg booster administered
1:30 Experience mildly more full and satisfactory, but my mood has been consistently well on the dark side of neutral since the comeup. Took a big old chaw of CBD just for a little positive push. It rapidly appeared to help push me more towards neutral. I decided to go outside to get some fresh air and a change of scenery. The forest is cold, wet, and dreary, but I still appreciate it. I just don't want to wrestle with getting myself dressed for the weather for how unappealing it is. I do get a strong sense of how my attention is too diffuse, spilling over into preventing future peril and loss, that I don't spend enough time feeling genuinely happy for my health and safety, and for the health and safety of my loved ones. Those are certain to be lost over time, so there is no time like the present to enthusiastically embrace happiness at my current good fortune. There is no other moment to be happy other than the one that we have now.
2:00 My friend is chilly, so I urge them to order some hearty takeout, then I turn up the thermostat. They're having trouble urinating, but not as much as usual with MAL. Thermoregulation and difficulty peeing are the side-effects that keep my eye on with MAL, but these aren't worrying here. I begin to develop a very mild headache (probably tadalafil, but could be mild jaw and neck tension.) I'm developing a bit of sinus and bronchial congestion like I typically do with 2C-B. I end up doing some deep lung coughing for the next several hours. So much for the health and vitality of mescaline!
3:00 Eat a curry. Well, my friend does. I manage to shovel 4-5 bites in, then drink a mango lassi. Experience continues to be...whatever.
4:00 While not being difficult, this experience isn't enjoyable at all anymore and I'm rather over it. The weather outside makes a change of scenery undesirable. Gas cramps are creeping in, which usually indicates descent. Somehow despite gas discomfort and with no libido, I agree to cuddling and one thing leads to another. I was at my darkest outlook, and this de-funked me quite a bit. So dark was my outlook, I do think that is was likely the least enjoyable sex that I've ever had on a psychedelic, but it was definitely beneficial.
4:30 Took 1mg etizolam. Not enough to abort the trip and possibly undetectable. I don't really have any anxiety, but I wouldn't mind throwing some ash on top of the fire to smother it a bit. I don't really know if it made much of an impact. Had some nitrous and it didn't really do much, which was a little odd since I definitely felt like I was still at a ++.
5:00 Finally started to expel some gas. No longer at a ++. It's very early to be this far down. MAL usually lasts over 12 hours for me, sometimes over 14 iirc.
8:30 My friend fell asleep on the couch, then got up and migrated to bed around 9:00. I was yawning, but held off and went to bed at 9:30. I fell asleep immediately, but work to my friend's sneeze an hour later. I took a (5mg?) pill of diazepam. It had no effect. I felt down, but the energy was still present in my body.
12:00 With the fireworks and artillery starting, I knew I needed more help to sleep. I took a second tablet of diazepam for the first time, falling asleep shortly after.
Next day: I woke at 8am, feeling rested with just a little bit of residual Valium floating around.
A similar experience has happened at least twice before if memory serves. Both of those times were with the same (glorious) batch of 5-MeO-MiPT. I took a normal amount via the normal route, and it kicked in fast, but went absolutely nowhere. I just had an inexplicably bland, dull, and stoning experience that was many hours shorter than would be typical of the dose. The strange thing about these experiences: my friend took the same dose of the same material, and they experienced the same miscarriage of a trip. Here again, we debriefed after and shared that we had the same experience. They described it as chemical and dull (despite it being stronger than they wanted for a spell after cannabis.) They said that they felt uncomfortable in the space throughout. They even took some CBD to address it going sideways after they vaped some cannabis. They also mentioned that the considered a benzo to abort just because they were dissatisfied, but decided not to. I'm struggling to describe the character of mine, too, because it wasn't challenging. It was just...grotty. I wasn't depressed, but my outlook on the present and the future was broadly more negative than when I was sober. The reduced joy and positivity didn't feel psychedelic or enchanted or pushed - they felt natural. My normal sober attitude was just more dysphoric than it had been a couple of hours earlier. I entertained that maybe it was an accurate representation of my outlook over the last two months, revealed from concealment beneath my outward presentation, but that seemed facile and wouldn't explain the shared experience of my friend.
My friend had been planning a break from tryptamines (they've used more psychedelics than me over the last year or two - I've not made the time for them.) After this, they said they'll likely be taking a long break from all of them. I've had quite a few mixed experiences with my beloved 'scalines over the last couple of years, and I've attributed half-seriously to ondansetron. That can't have been the case this time, making me increasingly reluctant to revisit my favorite class of psychedelics. The work, body load, and time commitment are considerable to have a bland experience half the time. I kind of figured that the lack of surging vital energy in the last few years was likely due to aging, but the rest I can't explain.
