Juggalotus
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2003
- Messages
- 404
December 19, 2004
Hello again BL community!!
I am back with another story about a very trying time with LSD. This story takes place exactly 4 years ago when I first moved here.
I moved here in September of 2000 and quickly found myself back into the tripping scene once again. I was 18yrs old going on 28. I had experimented with mushrooms 3 times prior to this and with LSD 5 or 6 times. Every time I dosed LSD, I was accustomed to taking 2-3 hits at once for a good time. But this time was different even though I took my normal 3 hits.
A had recently made a good friend at my place of employment through the person I moved here with. I was told that he was getting a vial of liquid, and would soon have doses ready. After the experience, I spoke with him and learned a few things about why everything happened the way it did, which I will discuss at the end of the report.
On a Monday night after working in a factory for 8 hours, I came home to a nice surprise. On the table in the room my friend and I were sharing, there was a large piece of aluminum foil and on it sat 9 sugar cubes. He had already eaten 1 when he got it. So I said “If this is a joke, I am going to kick your ass through the window! Is this really acid???” He told me it was and that 5 were mine. Immediately I ate 3 cubes. This was 11:30pm and I had to work the next day.
11:30pm
I consumed the 3 freshly dropped cubes and my (best) friend also ate a total of 3, after eating 1 an hour earlier. I was busy upstairs for about 15 minutes letting the cubes dissolve and showering for the night. I commenced to go downstairs for some fluid intake for the trip after my shower. I was in the kitchen smoking a cigarette and deciding what it was that I wanted to drink. I also decided to make a small sandwich. I got everything I needed for a good night of tripping and remembered that I hadn’t cleaned any weed for smoking, so I hurried up downstairs and got my drink and ate my sandwich.
12:00am
As I finished my sandwich and drank my orange juice, I noticed that I felt strangely and thoroughly intoxicated already roughly 25 minutes after I had eaten the acid, which was strange because all my other trips didn’t start for at least 45mins. I started to get kinda freaked out and decided to go upstairs and clean weed. On my way up the stairs, I noticed my visual field was getting screwy very quickly. I was looking down at the stairs and carpet and it appeared as though there was a foot of water or mist on top of the floor. My thoughts were becoming scrambled and I was having a hard time putting all of this together. I made it to the room and my friend was sitting on his bed with CD’s for the night. He also was terribly messed up and was surprised as I was.
12:30am
We got some music playing and I started to clean some of the ounce we had just got over the weekend. My motor function was totally screwed, I ended up poorly cleaning enough to roll 4 or 5 joints, but ended up stuffing it into a bong, because neither of us could roll anything. As I was rapidly cleaning weed, I came across a blue piece of weed, I showed it to my friend and he said it was green like the rest. I swore it was not, so I kept it separate from the rest and decided to examine it when I was a little more sober.
I was still becoming more and more intoxicated, and I started to worry, I had never been this high, and it had only been an hour since I got home! I smoked countless bowls, trying to calm myself down, but it did nothing at all but make for a smoky room. I laid back on my bed and tried to relax, but my body would not. I couldn’t relax at all, in fact it hurt to try and relax. My muscles hurt, but felt great at the same time, my brain felt the same way, but if I fought it, it only got worse. So I decided to just ride with it (easier said than done).
1:00am
With absolutely no concept of time or existence, I laid on my bed with my eyes shut, only sitting up to smoke a cigarette and a bowl ever 10 minutes. At this point, EVERYTHING was happening at once, that is the only way to describe my feelings. My friend was across from me on his be with his legs up against the wall and he was staring at some trippy poster.
I realized then that I did not know who the fuck was in the room with me. I loudly spoke, “who are you and what the fuck are you doing with your feet on the wall??”. All he could say was “I don’t know, but I am free now”. This made me happy/confused/angry and downright confused. I tried hard to remember who the familiar soul was with me in the room, but I felt beyond crazy and couldn’t think. The visuals that I was seeing were absolutely ridiculous. Everything was going with everything else and there was mist/water everywhere I looked. If I closed my eyes, I saw what looked like a nightmare, but I concentrated on it nonetheless because it intrigued me. The only way to describe what I saw behind my eyes was a 2 dimensional picture of 4 (heads?) separated by a 4 way cross patterned with countless colors and designs. This image was rotating in a very choppy but fluent way in a counter clockwise motion. It appeared that the mouths were talking but making no noise. It reminded me of Egyptian drawings for some reason.
2:00am
Things get very fuzzy from here until 7:00am, but I will do my best to keep my thoughts in order. I felt as though this would never end and I would be locked into a state of drug-induced psychosis forever. You always hear about people eating too much acid and getting “fried” for life and they end up in a mental hospital for the rest of their lives. This is where I was going for sure. I kept thinking “who will take care of me? What will my family say?” I finally accepted the fact that I was going to be like this forever. This felt worse than anything I could ever imagine, and it only cost $15. I felt very good at the same time, but royally mind-fucked. I wondered if this was what death would be like and then wondered if that is where I was headed.
3:00am
I lay there thinking nonstop about these things. As the time passed, which it did not, I didn’t even care about the crazy shit I was seeing with my eyes open. I was still more focused on the fact that I was going to be a statistic and a vegetable the rest of my life.
I was still up every 10 mins or so smoking a cigarette, and I got some crazy idea that maybe I could smoke enough pot to make the crazy go away. I smoked bowl after bowl with no luck of recovering to sobriety. The intensity of the high from the LSD felt as though it may be leveling off at a peak, but my thoughts were so hacked up that it was hard to put all this together. Little did I know, I was still on the rise to my peak.
I spotted the blue piece of weed in the little baggy I had set aside earlier and it was still very blue. My brain felt absolutely exhausted, like it had been on a brain treadmill for days. I didn’t even know how I kept any thought at all. I was way beyond any high I had ever felt before and to this day as well.
4:00am
Am I at the peak? I can’t tell, oh well, I am going to be a vegetable anyways, so what does it matter? I was still going up from what I could tell. Music still playing, but I notice a song that comes on, and this is the peak. I remember the song to this day, and in fact I just heard it as I am writing this report. It is a song by a band named finger eleven from the Album GREYEST OF BLUE SKIES. The song is titled “suffocate”. Every time I hear this song, I think of this trip and I get chills. OMG I almost forgot to mention the chills, my body was practically convulsing every time I got a chill. I would twitch and jerk like I was having a seizure every time a chill would run up my back.
Back to the song that I picked out of the blue and remember to this day. I did retrieve the lyrics and I am going to post them. This song was very influential on this trip just because of the sequence of words spoken and how they are sang. In particular the chorus to the song was the part I remembered most, but I include the whole thing.
Suffocate – Finger eleven
Talk to me
Can you listen to me now
Do you understand
Can you identify?
But it's as if you seem to - make a small effort
But you bend you're bending my mind and you try to suffocate
And smother me
Covered so I can't breathe
(chorus)
We collapse
our weakened hands
fall together at once abandoned
They'll force you down
and strap you in
now we agree and understand
Speak slowly
You gotta get it all out now
What are you saying?
Just remember we will always be here
Just in case you have been waiting
Waiting to show us something or give us some sign
As if you're gonna suffocate, smothering
Covered so you can't breathe
Gently lure your submission
All the while suspicion grows
So be sick of listening
To senile old and staggering naive youth
Pick us up when we fall down
I was so moved by this song, that it has stuck to this day as my ‘learning trip’ song. I don’t have any clue why this song stuck out so much, but it was absolutely beautiful and it was the first thing that made sense since 12:30.
5:00am
My friend and I have spoken a total of maybe 20 words between us through this whole experience. Right around this time, my brain decides to play a nasty trick on me.
I moved from Washington state to Michigan, (I don’t know why so don’t ask). Anyways, I stood up at exactly 5:12am and went to the window of our room and looked outside. My brain told me I was ‘home’ and I swore to god that I was back in Washington state. I then decided to ask my accomplice or who I thought was a friend (cuz he hadn’t attacked me at all or said anything threatening) where the hell I was at. And he told me I was here. This pissed me off, I couldn’t figure out where I was, I was trapped and nobody knew anything, especially me. I felt so lost and helpless. I just wanted it to be over and it was far from that. I laid back down and closed my eyes to see the same image rotating since the beginning of the trip.
6:00am – 7:00am
It is very hard to say what I was thinking at this point, except for the same helpless thoughts and feeling overworked be a drug. Right around 7am, I started to feel like the high was wearing down a little, so I smoked at least 5 or 6 bowls of some schwag to recompose myself. Through this whole time, we only left the room once to go pee, which was very scary for some reason. We also had his parents downstairs sleeping, so we had to be very quiet on the squeaky floors, thus all the laying down.
Finally, sometime after 7am my brain was done and had it. I somehow fell asleep when it started to get light out. I don’t know how I got to sleep, I think my brain was just so exhausted that it HAD to rest. So I fell asleep unknowingly.
1:20pm
I open my eyes and look at the clock, I have to be to work by 2:30. I look at the wall next to my bed and wave my hand across the wall, and to my surprise, my hand smeared across the wall and I thought “oh shit! I am still tripping???”
I quickly woke my friend up, smoked a bunch of weed and off to work we went. I could not miss a day of work, or I would end up jobless.
I got there, bought a doughnut from the vending machine and went to the smoke shack outside for a cigarette. I fired it up and not 3 minutes later my boss came out and sat next to both my friend and I. I was still very high and couldn’t handle sitting next to my boss.. Before I could get up and leave, my friend put out his smoke and went to the meeting room. There was no way I could talk to my boss, so I followed behind my friend.
7:00pm
It is lunch time at work, and I am starving, I ate my lunch and sat in the smoke shack alone in a corner. After lunch, I went back to the line where I worked and decided that the drug was FINALLY letting me go.
Back to normal (mostly) by 8:00pm or so, I was grateful. I finished out the night of work, and had an undying urge to hear that beautiful song.
11:30pm
I got home a little after 11:30pm and put the song on, and played it over and over. I noticed some residual effects even this late into the next day, but they were very minimal. I was glad to be sober once again. I re-examined the ‘blue’ weed, and it was in fact just regular green, I couldn’t figure out why it looked blue before, but it did. I smoked this as soon as I remembered and looked at it again, just as a reminder of the lengthy session.
Conclusion/Summary
This was a HUGE learning experience, in fact it was life altering. I never knew how precious and fragile life could be. I had to find out the hard way, being cocky the way I was. I am no longer like that toward psychedelics. I thought I could take on the world and got an ass kicking.
I later learned from my ‘source’ that he had told my friend to only eat 1 cube, and that would be plenty. The vial he purchased contained up to 120 ‘normal’ hits of LSD. He said he got a little under 70 hits out of the vial.
When he dropped our cubes, we got hooked up better than anybody else he sold these to. The way that his source told him to drop them, was to squeeze the dropper until a ball of liquid formed on the end of the dropper, then touch the ball of liquid to the cube. My friend squeezed the dropper until a full drop fell onto the cube. This was equal to up to 4-5 hits of what I was used to after doing a little dropper research on my own.
I figured a normal ‘good’ dose being around 50-75ug. A full drop measured out to be around 275- 350ug and up to 375ug. Take a dose of 350ug is what I figured, times 3 and it comes out to 1050ug or 1.05mg. Possibly a dose of up to 1125ug (1.125mg) was taken. A monstrous and stupid dose to say the least. This made for a long hard lesson that lasted around 20 hours. I will not intentionally repeat that experiment ever again, it was too much and I can’t describe the feelings of anxiety/depression and overall mind fuck that I went through, and was not prepared for.
Sorry for such a long report, I felt it necessary to detail as much as possible, so that the reader would understand the psychosis I endured. I love LSD and have done it many times since then, but never ever at that level, ever again.
Much Love and be careful
Hello again BL community!!
I am back with another story about a very trying time with LSD. This story takes place exactly 4 years ago when I first moved here.
I moved here in September of 2000 and quickly found myself back into the tripping scene once again. I was 18yrs old going on 28. I had experimented with mushrooms 3 times prior to this and with LSD 5 or 6 times. Every time I dosed LSD, I was accustomed to taking 2-3 hits at once for a good time. But this time was different even though I took my normal 3 hits.
A had recently made a good friend at my place of employment through the person I moved here with. I was told that he was getting a vial of liquid, and would soon have doses ready. After the experience, I spoke with him and learned a few things about why everything happened the way it did, which I will discuss at the end of the report.
On a Monday night after working in a factory for 8 hours, I came home to a nice surprise. On the table in the room my friend and I were sharing, there was a large piece of aluminum foil and on it sat 9 sugar cubes. He had already eaten 1 when he got it. So I said “If this is a joke, I am going to kick your ass through the window! Is this really acid???” He told me it was and that 5 were mine. Immediately I ate 3 cubes. This was 11:30pm and I had to work the next day.
11:30pm
I consumed the 3 freshly dropped cubes and my (best) friend also ate a total of 3, after eating 1 an hour earlier. I was busy upstairs for about 15 minutes letting the cubes dissolve and showering for the night. I commenced to go downstairs for some fluid intake for the trip after my shower. I was in the kitchen smoking a cigarette and deciding what it was that I wanted to drink. I also decided to make a small sandwich. I got everything I needed for a good night of tripping and remembered that I hadn’t cleaned any weed for smoking, so I hurried up downstairs and got my drink and ate my sandwich.
12:00am
As I finished my sandwich and drank my orange juice, I noticed that I felt strangely and thoroughly intoxicated already roughly 25 minutes after I had eaten the acid, which was strange because all my other trips didn’t start for at least 45mins. I started to get kinda freaked out and decided to go upstairs and clean weed. On my way up the stairs, I noticed my visual field was getting screwy very quickly. I was looking down at the stairs and carpet and it appeared as though there was a foot of water or mist on top of the floor. My thoughts were becoming scrambled and I was having a hard time putting all of this together. I made it to the room and my friend was sitting on his bed with CD’s for the night. He also was terribly messed up and was surprised as I was.
12:30am
We got some music playing and I started to clean some of the ounce we had just got over the weekend. My motor function was totally screwed, I ended up poorly cleaning enough to roll 4 or 5 joints, but ended up stuffing it into a bong, because neither of us could roll anything. As I was rapidly cleaning weed, I came across a blue piece of weed, I showed it to my friend and he said it was green like the rest. I swore it was not, so I kept it separate from the rest and decided to examine it when I was a little more sober.
I was still becoming more and more intoxicated, and I started to worry, I had never been this high, and it had only been an hour since I got home! I smoked countless bowls, trying to calm myself down, but it did nothing at all but make for a smoky room. I laid back on my bed and tried to relax, but my body would not. I couldn’t relax at all, in fact it hurt to try and relax. My muscles hurt, but felt great at the same time, my brain felt the same way, but if I fought it, it only got worse. So I decided to just ride with it (easier said than done).
1:00am
With absolutely no concept of time or existence, I laid on my bed with my eyes shut, only sitting up to smoke a cigarette and a bowl ever 10 minutes. At this point, EVERYTHING was happening at once, that is the only way to describe my feelings. My friend was across from me on his be with his legs up against the wall and he was staring at some trippy poster.
I realized then that I did not know who the fuck was in the room with me. I loudly spoke, “who are you and what the fuck are you doing with your feet on the wall??”. All he could say was “I don’t know, but I am free now”. This made me happy/confused/angry and downright confused. I tried hard to remember who the familiar soul was with me in the room, but I felt beyond crazy and couldn’t think. The visuals that I was seeing were absolutely ridiculous. Everything was going with everything else and there was mist/water everywhere I looked. If I closed my eyes, I saw what looked like a nightmare, but I concentrated on it nonetheless because it intrigued me. The only way to describe what I saw behind my eyes was a 2 dimensional picture of 4 (heads?) separated by a 4 way cross patterned with countless colors and designs. This image was rotating in a very choppy but fluent way in a counter clockwise motion. It appeared that the mouths were talking but making no noise. It reminded me of Egyptian drawings for some reason.
2:00am
Things get very fuzzy from here until 7:00am, but I will do my best to keep my thoughts in order. I felt as though this would never end and I would be locked into a state of drug-induced psychosis forever. You always hear about people eating too much acid and getting “fried” for life and they end up in a mental hospital for the rest of their lives. This is where I was going for sure. I kept thinking “who will take care of me? What will my family say?” I finally accepted the fact that I was going to be like this forever. This felt worse than anything I could ever imagine, and it only cost $15. I felt very good at the same time, but royally mind-fucked. I wondered if this was what death would be like and then wondered if that is where I was headed.
3:00am
I lay there thinking nonstop about these things. As the time passed, which it did not, I didn’t even care about the crazy shit I was seeing with my eyes open. I was still more focused on the fact that I was going to be a statistic and a vegetable the rest of my life.
I was still up every 10 mins or so smoking a cigarette, and I got some crazy idea that maybe I could smoke enough pot to make the crazy go away. I smoked bowl after bowl with no luck of recovering to sobriety. The intensity of the high from the LSD felt as though it may be leveling off at a peak, but my thoughts were so hacked up that it was hard to put all this together. Little did I know, I was still on the rise to my peak.
I spotted the blue piece of weed in the little baggy I had set aside earlier and it was still very blue. My brain felt absolutely exhausted, like it had been on a brain treadmill for days. I didn’t even know how I kept any thought at all. I was way beyond any high I had ever felt before and to this day as well.
4:00am
Am I at the peak? I can’t tell, oh well, I am going to be a vegetable anyways, so what does it matter? I was still going up from what I could tell. Music still playing, but I notice a song that comes on, and this is the peak. I remember the song to this day, and in fact I just heard it as I am writing this report. It is a song by a band named finger eleven from the Album GREYEST OF BLUE SKIES. The song is titled “suffocate”. Every time I hear this song, I think of this trip and I get chills. OMG I almost forgot to mention the chills, my body was practically convulsing every time I got a chill. I would twitch and jerk like I was having a seizure every time a chill would run up my back.
Back to the song that I picked out of the blue and remember to this day. I did retrieve the lyrics and I am going to post them. This song was very influential on this trip just because of the sequence of words spoken and how they are sang. In particular the chorus to the song was the part I remembered most, but I include the whole thing.
Suffocate – Finger eleven
Talk to me
Can you listen to me now
Do you understand
Can you identify?
But it's as if you seem to - make a small effort
But you bend you're bending my mind and you try to suffocate
And smother me
Covered so I can't breathe
(chorus)
We collapse
our weakened hands
fall together at once abandoned
They'll force you down
and strap you in
now we agree and understand
Speak slowly
You gotta get it all out now
What are you saying?
Just remember we will always be here
Just in case you have been waiting
Waiting to show us something or give us some sign
As if you're gonna suffocate, smothering
Covered so you can't breathe
Gently lure your submission
All the while suspicion grows
So be sick of listening
To senile old and staggering naive youth
Pick us up when we fall down
I was so moved by this song, that it has stuck to this day as my ‘learning trip’ song. I don’t have any clue why this song stuck out so much, but it was absolutely beautiful and it was the first thing that made sense since 12:30.
5:00am
My friend and I have spoken a total of maybe 20 words between us through this whole experience. Right around this time, my brain decides to play a nasty trick on me.
I moved from Washington state to Michigan, (I don’t know why so don’t ask). Anyways, I stood up at exactly 5:12am and went to the window of our room and looked outside. My brain told me I was ‘home’ and I swore to god that I was back in Washington state. I then decided to ask my accomplice or who I thought was a friend (cuz he hadn’t attacked me at all or said anything threatening) where the hell I was at. And he told me I was here. This pissed me off, I couldn’t figure out where I was, I was trapped and nobody knew anything, especially me. I felt so lost and helpless. I just wanted it to be over and it was far from that. I laid back down and closed my eyes to see the same image rotating since the beginning of the trip.
6:00am – 7:00am
It is very hard to say what I was thinking at this point, except for the same helpless thoughts and feeling overworked be a drug. Right around 7am, I started to feel like the high was wearing down a little, so I smoked at least 5 or 6 bowls of some schwag to recompose myself. Through this whole time, we only left the room once to go pee, which was very scary for some reason. We also had his parents downstairs sleeping, so we had to be very quiet on the squeaky floors, thus all the laying down.
Finally, sometime after 7am my brain was done and had it. I somehow fell asleep when it started to get light out. I don’t know how I got to sleep, I think my brain was just so exhausted that it HAD to rest. So I fell asleep unknowingly.
1:20pm
I open my eyes and look at the clock, I have to be to work by 2:30. I look at the wall next to my bed and wave my hand across the wall, and to my surprise, my hand smeared across the wall and I thought “oh shit! I am still tripping???”
I quickly woke my friend up, smoked a bunch of weed and off to work we went. I could not miss a day of work, or I would end up jobless.
I got there, bought a doughnut from the vending machine and went to the smoke shack outside for a cigarette. I fired it up and not 3 minutes later my boss came out and sat next to both my friend and I. I was still very high and couldn’t handle sitting next to my boss.. Before I could get up and leave, my friend put out his smoke and went to the meeting room. There was no way I could talk to my boss, so I followed behind my friend.
7:00pm
It is lunch time at work, and I am starving, I ate my lunch and sat in the smoke shack alone in a corner. After lunch, I went back to the line where I worked and decided that the drug was FINALLY letting me go.
Back to normal (mostly) by 8:00pm or so, I was grateful. I finished out the night of work, and had an undying urge to hear that beautiful song.
11:30pm
I got home a little after 11:30pm and put the song on, and played it over and over. I noticed some residual effects even this late into the next day, but they were very minimal. I was glad to be sober once again. I re-examined the ‘blue’ weed, and it was in fact just regular green, I couldn’t figure out why it looked blue before, but it did. I smoked this as soon as I remembered and looked at it again, just as a reminder of the lengthy session.
Conclusion/Summary
This was a HUGE learning experience, in fact it was life altering. I never knew how precious and fragile life could be. I had to find out the hard way, being cocky the way I was. I am no longer like that toward psychedelics. I thought I could take on the world and got an ass kicking.
I later learned from my ‘source’ that he had told my friend to only eat 1 cube, and that would be plenty. The vial he purchased contained up to 120 ‘normal’ hits of LSD. He said he got a little under 70 hits out of the vial.
When he dropped our cubes, we got hooked up better than anybody else he sold these to. The way that his source told him to drop them, was to squeeze the dropper until a ball of liquid formed on the end of the dropper, then touch the ball of liquid to the cube. My friend squeezed the dropper until a full drop fell onto the cube. This was equal to up to 4-5 hits of what I was used to after doing a little dropper research on my own.
I figured a normal ‘good’ dose being around 50-75ug. A full drop measured out to be around 275- 350ug and up to 375ug. Take a dose of 350ug is what I figured, times 3 and it comes out to 1050ug or 1.05mg. Possibly a dose of up to 1125ug (1.125mg) was taken. A monstrous and stupid dose to say the least. This made for a long hard lesson that lasted around 20 hours. I will not intentionally repeat that experiment ever again, it was too much and I can’t describe the feelings of anxiety/depression and overall mind fuck that I went through, and was not prepared for.
Sorry for such a long report, I felt it necessary to detail as much as possible, so that the reader would understand the psychosis I endured. I love LSD and have done it many times since then, but never ever at that level, ever again.
Much Love and be careful
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.. nice report. Taking a big break from psych's was probably a very good idea as well, think I'm going to go through that process this coming year.