Cosmic Mist
Bluelighter
Background Info:
I had been looking forward to this party for several weeks now. It was in another city about 4 hours south of my home town (by coach) and i was looking forward to meeting some new and interesting people. The night before had been rather messy - a friend and i were the only ones rolling at a party where pretty much all of our friends and aquaintances were attending. She went through a pretty traumatic break-up with her long term boyfriend. He started to cut himself and she was pretty upset. I was the only one there at this time, and so did my best to help them both before departing for the other city far away.
Arriving at the party i realised just how few people i knew there, and still coming down from my roll was not going to aid the situation. A friend had offered me some 5-htp which i quickly accepted, but i still was not feeling too cheery. An hour or so later i dropped my first tab of acid.
The Experience:
WHile i know that the situations leading up to the party were far from ideal and it was perhaps a little stupid to have picked such an unfamiliar location for my first trip, inmy defence i must state that it was something i have always wanted to do. Having the opportunity to finally go tripping made me feel quite happy before hand, so i figured it wouldn't be too bad.
A lot of the people there had already began what was to turn into one massive night of poly-drug consumption, so i found it both very easy and difficult to speak to them, myself feeling completely straight still. I didn't want to bring them down, so i went outside and played in a park just across the road with some friends. The stars were absolutely AMAZING. I cannot stress how much i wished i could have just put the sky in my pocket and taken it with me. We played on the children's equipment, and one of my friends almost managed to make me believe that we were on a pirate shit for a fraction of time; we were swinging around on a springy device, and i felt as though i could feel the wind in my hair and the salt on my tounge. It was great. WHen i got off this piece of children's equipment, i could barely walk or even stand straight.
We walked around the park and explored it for a bit - it was massive, i felt like i was going to find the end of the world, but ended up in strad at a high school. Had i been in my own city i would have ventured further - all i wanted to do was walk and walk. However i knew this was not wise. We returned to the party, where i spent a few hours being amused my a playstation game and my lack of a bility to play it. The colours were very vivid though - they seemed to be oozing through the screen at me...
OUtside again, i decided to go back to the park. I was walking when i recieved a message on my mobile from the aforementioned friend; she was really upset, but there was nothing i could do to help her. This really changed the space i was in, and suddenly everything was very cold and lonely. No one there knew me well enough for me to D&M with, and that was all i was really looking for. I sat huddled in a little ball with my head hidden. I wanted to escape from everything. I wanted everything to go away, but i didn't want to feel so alone. Everything was too much, and when the second message came, the feelings intensified. I wasn't able to express what i was feeling, other than through a series of hand gesture which meant absolutely nothing to anyone else.
Retuning to the party, it sounded like the music was talking to me, privately, and saying things that i didn't like. It made me feel very uncomfortable, and the people all around me added to the sensory over-load. A friend found me and instilled hugs upon me, which dind't actually make me feel any better at all for some strange reason.
Eventually i found a tribal drum, and delighted myself in it for a while. This raised my spirits, and before i knew it i was back int he chillout room of the house and watching "Chocolat" with some friends. I really like Jonny Depp, so this made me forget the messages i hade been sent for a little while, and another person in the room offering me a massage pushed me into a happier place.
Afterwards:
ALthough i cannot remember this, i apparently had seemed very dazed and confused the entire time i was tripping. I do remember having a fascination with people's eye and feeling the need to study them intently, however the amount of unfamiliar faces, and the realisation that i was in a city i hadn't visited in 10 years really threw me out. I was already feeling a little apprehensive when my friend messaged me, and i think i pissed more than one person off by telling them all about how lonely i was. I couldn't help how i felt, unlike with the other drugs i have experienced, with this i felt as though i was very insignificant and the entire experience was altogether very humbling.
I did enjoy the effects enough to try it again. My intentions this time are to do it at my house witha few close friends, and to have everyone in the same head space. I imagine that my next exerience will be much better. There were no hallucinations, but i had been told not to expect them at the dosage level i had taken.
I had been looking forward to this party for several weeks now. It was in another city about 4 hours south of my home town (by coach) and i was looking forward to meeting some new and interesting people. The night before had been rather messy - a friend and i were the only ones rolling at a party where pretty much all of our friends and aquaintances were attending. She went through a pretty traumatic break-up with her long term boyfriend. He started to cut himself and she was pretty upset. I was the only one there at this time, and so did my best to help them both before departing for the other city far away.
Arriving at the party i realised just how few people i knew there, and still coming down from my roll was not going to aid the situation. A friend had offered me some 5-htp which i quickly accepted, but i still was not feeling too cheery. An hour or so later i dropped my first tab of acid.
The Experience:
WHile i know that the situations leading up to the party were far from ideal and it was perhaps a little stupid to have picked such an unfamiliar location for my first trip, inmy defence i must state that it was something i have always wanted to do. Having the opportunity to finally go tripping made me feel quite happy before hand, so i figured it wouldn't be too bad.
A lot of the people there had already began what was to turn into one massive night of poly-drug consumption, so i found it both very easy and difficult to speak to them, myself feeling completely straight still. I didn't want to bring them down, so i went outside and played in a park just across the road with some friends. The stars were absolutely AMAZING. I cannot stress how much i wished i could have just put the sky in my pocket and taken it with me. We played on the children's equipment, and one of my friends almost managed to make me believe that we were on a pirate shit for a fraction of time; we were swinging around on a springy device, and i felt as though i could feel the wind in my hair and the salt on my tounge. It was great. WHen i got off this piece of children's equipment, i could barely walk or even stand straight.
We walked around the park and explored it for a bit - it was massive, i felt like i was going to find the end of the world, but ended up in strad at a high school. Had i been in my own city i would have ventured further - all i wanted to do was walk and walk. However i knew this was not wise. We returned to the party, where i spent a few hours being amused my a playstation game and my lack of a bility to play it. The colours were very vivid though - they seemed to be oozing through the screen at me...
OUtside again, i decided to go back to the park. I was walking when i recieved a message on my mobile from the aforementioned friend; she was really upset, but there was nothing i could do to help her. This really changed the space i was in, and suddenly everything was very cold and lonely. No one there knew me well enough for me to D&M with, and that was all i was really looking for. I sat huddled in a little ball with my head hidden. I wanted to escape from everything. I wanted everything to go away, but i didn't want to feel so alone. Everything was too much, and when the second message came, the feelings intensified. I wasn't able to express what i was feeling, other than through a series of hand gesture which meant absolutely nothing to anyone else.
Retuning to the party, it sounded like the music was talking to me, privately, and saying things that i didn't like. It made me feel very uncomfortable, and the people all around me added to the sensory over-load. A friend found me and instilled hugs upon me, which dind't actually make me feel any better at all for some strange reason.
Eventually i found a tribal drum, and delighted myself in it for a while. This raised my spirits, and before i knew it i was back int he chillout room of the house and watching "Chocolat" with some friends. I really like Jonny Depp, so this made me forget the messages i hade been sent for a little while, and another person in the room offering me a massage pushed me into a happier place.
Afterwards:
ALthough i cannot remember this, i apparently had seemed very dazed and confused the entire time i was tripping. I do remember having a fascination with people's eye and feeling the need to study them intently, however the amount of unfamiliar faces, and the realisation that i was in a city i hadn't visited in 10 years really threw me out. I was already feeling a little apprehensive when my friend messaged me, and i think i pissed more than one person off by telling them all about how lonely i was. I couldn't help how i felt, unlike with the other drugs i have experienced, with this i felt as though i was very insignificant and the entire experience was altogether very humbling.
I did enjoy the effects enough to try it again. My intentions this time are to do it at my house witha few close friends, and to have everyone in the same head space. I imagine that my next exerience will be much better. There were no hallucinations, but i had been told not to expect them at the dosage level i had taken.
