Fisserul
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2006
- Messages
- 9
I have an avid hobby-gone-mad-interest in psychedelics, and have read and listened to quite a bit over the last 20 years on the subject. Having a sensitive psyche I have decided to go reeaal slow on the self-experimenting part, though. My experiences are limited to cannabis, LSA-containing seeds, mushrooms, MDMA and a single 110 mics LSD trip.
My first experience with LSD had a deep impact on me although it was a low dose. I didn't listen to much music and I had open eyes, enjoying the beautiful patterns and an amazing ecstatic state of body and mind. This trip should turn out to be a completely different experience, though.
As part of my preparation I read Stanislav Grofs LSD Psychotherapy, in other words I was lining up for a classic psychedelic experience.
I had prepared a playlist, inspired by Grofs book, and my plan was to lie down with headphones and closed eyes through the first part of the trip, and just see where the music would take me. I was prepared for a hard ride with vivid recalls of childhood trauma and intergalactic bad karma after having read the descriptions of some of Grof's patients.
+0:00
It is about 1 pm and I take the two tabs of 110 mics each and keep them under my tongue until they start dissolving. I haven't eaten too much and feel pretty excited and happy to finally set out on this journey.
+0:30
First definitive signs showing - I still have open eyes and I am paging through an astronomy atlas and getting very much into a picture of the surface patterns of one of Jupiter's moons. I decide to lay down and close my eyes.
+1:00
Rachmaninoff's 3rd Symphony and its weird and beautiful sounds is taking over my whole being. There is no fear. I focus on just letting things happen not trying to control the direction on the trip. Letting go constantly, letting go. Truly awesome feeling of just being the wavefront of music unfolding in a fractal manner. Some closed eye visuals start to appear but not too strongly. But I hesitate calling them visuals they are more like integrated impressions of sound, image, feeling and thought.
+2:00
My girlfriend comes home. She knows I am tripping and I open my eyes for a moment to say hello. Her figure is replicated in a kaleidoscopic moment with blue and red fractal patterns appear around her and on the ceiling.
My energy level keeps rising and my whole body is buzzing while I am lying down and I am doing involuntary jerks once in a while. The fractal theme is prevalent. Still the wavefront feeling - now at the unfolding of creation and time. I suddenly realize that this must be flow, the universal force that is at the root of all that is good, in sublime music, athletic feats, fucking, talking eloquently etc etc. It is like stepping out of a fixed Cartesian frame and being immersed in a sea of movement I can feel the enormous waves of love? energy? surging through everything.
+3:00
Some crazy symphony is building up steam. Trumpets and drums are summoning the troops, louder and louder. The mother of all wars is about to begin. The taste of blood from the battlefield is already in my mouth and I decide to stop even though my plan was to face all fears. Go on to Alan Hovhaness. Eastern mysticism and adventure. Yeah, that's more like it. I realize later that the metallic blood taste in my mouth probably stemmed from the sparkling water I had been drinking.
Time to pee. Slightly dizzy and in an extremely silly and unraveled mood. This annoys my girlfriend. She is preparing food but I am not hungry at all. We are in so different places mentally that is physically hurts me thinking about it. She takes up a knife an points it at me in mockery and irritation. Woow don't do that! At that moment I feel very glad I didn't take 4 tabs instead of two. I had taken a lot of time preparing her for what I was going into - but hey.
Toilet is swimming with colors, like a thin layer of gasoline is covering the surfaces causing the colors to refract. Someone in the mirror? No balls for staring into it right now.
+4:00
I end up lying on the back and I am surprised to feel the music and subtle forces bend my body into a yoga like position. This position is clearly in perfect sync with the music and the universe. I am at the crux of an intergalactic sweet spot. I say this out loud and my gf smiles and seems in a better mood now. It feels extremely important to keep our connection and communication clear and loving. An argument now would make the world come apart. Massive amounts of good energy stream through the universe along the highway that I suddenly am part of. My body is rearranged into a red building with structures in soft shapes floating in a highly lit space, I see small dots moving on the highway and into the structure that is my body, maybe sentient beings.
I sweat profusely at this point, I feel soft and flexible physically and mentally. I can stretch into positions I normally can't and I feel like I am at a place where I can actually reshape my personality. The fear of not being accepted because of all the hidden weirdness is gone for a moment.
+5
Now it's Tibetan chant time - deep guttural hollow voice worm snakes are twisting around each other, perfectly expressing the flow. Yeah, they got it, they GOT it! I grok it and grok the meaning of grokking. No explanations needed in this crazy conversation of vibrations. New track, now Björk. Sorrow and joy is mixed so exquisitely it explodes out of me as a hollow deep sobbing. Like something long kept is finally released. Complete relaxation in the arms of my girl, mother and son, complete release, tears. After this the intensity of the trip decreases and I can eat some food.
+7
Bela Fleck plays Bach. Metallic banjo cathedrals are built in no time by intricate machinery, worms crawling in and out of them.
+8
Open eyes. Can't sleep. Some CEVs still playing on my inner screen. Very high energy level still.
+12
Damn still no sleep. Just crazy speedy thought loops and anxiety and it seems to go on forever and ever. It does not feel healthy. I feel exhausted. I drink some wine to calm down. Next time (if theres ever gonna be one) I am going to take it early in the morning.
+13
Still trouble sleeping. This is insane, my mind is falling apart. I am seriously worried now.
+14
Finally asleep.
The trip ended up being tied up very closely to the music I listened to. It didn't take the psychoanalytical, trauma-recalling route I had expected. Maybe the dose was too low for this.
The day after I feel shaky and strung out. Tricky to stop trying to be the old me from before yesterday. Tricky to seem normal. Others MUST be able to see I have taken LSD, I feel so different.
It takes a few days before I am feeling mentally stable again. But underneath it all the good frequencies are still lingering. I guess this trip made me realize how much you can change in a very short time with the aid of a minuscule amount of chemicals. But this change is not persistent. In the long run YOU still have to do the work. You have to do the hard job of changing your habits. LSD may help you see your that your habits don't serve you. LSD won't change them for you. That's my conclusion for now and it seems to reflect the experience of many others.
Note: This trip report has been written partly right after the experience, and partly months later. I have not become a much better person at all because of my trip. I still maintain a lot of bad habits, my insecurities have not gone away and my personality is still pretty much the same I guess. But it was great fun and I am hunting that flow in everything I do. It was also scary. And impossible to put into words as you know - so many thoughts, sensations and feelings in so little time. Take care of yourselves.
My first experience with LSD had a deep impact on me although it was a low dose. I didn't listen to much music and I had open eyes, enjoying the beautiful patterns and an amazing ecstatic state of body and mind. This trip should turn out to be a completely different experience, though.
As part of my preparation I read Stanislav Grofs LSD Psychotherapy, in other words I was lining up for a classic psychedelic experience.
I had prepared a playlist, inspired by Grofs book, and my plan was to lie down with headphones and closed eyes through the first part of the trip, and just see where the music would take me. I was prepared for a hard ride with vivid recalls of childhood trauma and intergalactic bad karma after having read the descriptions of some of Grof's patients.
+0:00
It is about 1 pm and I take the two tabs of 110 mics each and keep them under my tongue until they start dissolving. I haven't eaten too much and feel pretty excited and happy to finally set out on this journey.
+0:30
First definitive signs showing - I still have open eyes and I am paging through an astronomy atlas and getting very much into a picture of the surface patterns of one of Jupiter's moons. I decide to lay down and close my eyes.
+1:00
Rachmaninoff's 3rd Symphony and its weird and beautiful sounds is taking over my whole being. There is no fear. I focus on just letting things happen not trying to control the direction on the trip. Letting go constantly, letting go. Truly awesome feeling of just being the wavefront of music unfolding in a fractal manner. Some closed eye visuals start to appear but not too strongly. But I hesitate calling them visuals they are more like integrated impressions of sound, image, feeling and thought.
+2:00
My girlfriend comes home. She knows I am tripping and I open my eyes for a moment to say hello. Her figure is replicated in a kaleidoscopic moment with blue and red fractal patterns appear around her and on the ceiling.
My energy level keeps rising and my whole body is buzzing while I am lying down and I am doing involuntary jerks once in a while. The fractal theme is prevalent. Still the wavefront feeling - now at the unfolding of creation and time. I suddenly realize that this must be flow, the universal force that is at the root of all that is good, in sublime music, athletic feats, fucking, talking eloquently etc etc. It is like stepping out of a fixed Cartesian frame and being immersed in a sea of movement I can feel the enormous waves of love? energy? surging through everything.
+3:00
Some crazy symphony is building up steam. Trumpets and drums are summoning the troops, louder and louder. The mother of all wars is about to begin. The taste of blood from the battlefield is already in my mouth and I decide to stop even though my plan was to face all fears. Go on to Alan Hovhaness. Eastern mysticism and adventure. Yeah, that's more like it. I realize later that the metallic blood taste in my mouth probably stemmed from the sparkling water I had been drinking.
Time to pee. Slightly dizzy and in an extremely silly and unraveled mood. This annoys my girlfriend. She is preparing food but I am not hungry at all. We are in so different places mentally that is physically hurts me thinking about it. She takes up a knife an points it at me in mockery and irritation. Woow don't do that! At that moment I feel very glad I didn't take 4 tabs instead of two. I had taken a lot of time preparing her for what I was going into - but hey.
Toilet is swimming with colors, like a thin layer of gasoline is covering the surfaces causing the colors to refract. Someone in the mirror? No balls for staring into it right now.
+4:00
I end up lying on the back and I am surprised to feel the music and subtle forces bend my body into a yoga like position. This position is clearly in perfect sync with the music and the universe. I am at the crux of an intergalactic sweet spot. I say this out loud and my gf smiles and seems in a better mood now. It feels extremely important to keep our connection and communication clear and loving. An argument now would make the world come apart. Massive amounts of good energy stream through the universe along the highway that I suddenly am part of. My body is rearranged into a red building with structures in soft shapes floating in a highly lit space, I see small dots moving on the highway and into the structure that is my body, maybe sentient beings.
I sweat profusely at this point, I feel soft and flexible physically and mentally. I can stretch into positions I normally can't and I feel like I am at a place where I can actually reshape my personality. The fear of not being accepted because of all the hidden weirdness is gone for a moment.
+5
Now it's Tibetan chant time - deep guttural hollow voice worm snakes are twisting around each other, perfectly expressing the flow. Yeah, they got it, they GOT it! I grok it and grok the meaning of grokking. No explanations needed in this crazy conversation of vibrations. New track, now Björk. Sorrow and joy is mixed so exquisitely it explodes out of me as a hollow deep sobbing. Like something long kept is finally released. Complete relaxation in the arms of my girl, mother and son, complete release, tears. After this the intensity of the trip decreases and I can eat some food.
+7
Bela Fleck plays Bach. Metallic banjo cathedrals are built in no time by intricate machinery, worms crawling in and out of them.
+8
Open eyes. Can't sleep. Some CEVs still playing on my inner screen. Very high energy level still.
+12
Damn still no sleep. Just crazy speedy thought loops and anxiety and it seems to go on forever and ever. It does not feel healthy. I feel exhausted. I drink some wine to calm down. Next time (if theres ever gonna be one) I am going to take it early in the morning.
+13
Still trouble sleeping. This is insane, my mind is falling apart. I am seriously worried now.
+14
Finally asleep.
The trip ended up being tied up very closely to the music I listened to. It didn't take the psychoanalytical, trauma-recalling route I had expected. Maybe the dose was too low for this.
The day after I feel shaky and strung out. Tricky to stop trying to be the old me from before yesterday. Tricky to seem normal. Others MUST be able to see I have taken LSD, I feel so different.
It takes a few days before I am feeling mentally stable again. But underneath it all the good frequencies are still lingering. I guess this trip made me realize how much you can change in a very short time with the aid of a minuscule amount of chemicals. But this change is not persistent. In the long run YOU still have to do the work. You have to do the hard job of changing your habits. LSD may help you see your that your habits don't serve you. LSD won't change them for you. That's my conclusion for now and it seems to reflect the experience of many others.
Note: This trip report has been written partly right after the experience, and partly months later. I have not become a much better person at all because of my trip. I still maintain a lot of bad habits, my insecurities have not gone away and my personality is still pretty much the same I guess. But it was great fun and I am hunting that flow in everything I do. It was also scary. And impossible to put into words as you know - so many thoughts, sensations and feelings in so little time. Take care of yourselves.
Last edited:
