Eucalyptus
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2015
- Messages
- 1
So I don't really know where to begin trying toexplain what happened last night, and I tried to already for about 2hours after all was said and done to my friend, who we'll call Mr. D,after “coming back”, but really struggled with it. I'm going totry to write it out now, mostly so that I can read back on it in thefuture, but also because it might be fun for people to read andunderstand what I was trying to explain to them throughout the night.
I'll start it off with a bit of a preface. Meand some of my awesome, close friends were going out last night to aDJ we all really enjoy called Slynk. We were in our usual attire,which, if you understand anything about me and my friends, means wewere dressed up in animal onesies, space suits and fur. We areawesome. Anyways, the night started out pretty typical, I chilledwith Mr. D for a bit at his place before everybody came over to headout. We had a really awesome talk about virtual reality andprojecting other worlds to people through music and visuals. Prettycool conversation and project idea. Prior to people showing up I took2 tabs of LSD. It should be noted that this was not my first timedoing Acid, and this wasn't the largest dose I had taken either. Ihave probably done Acid 7-8 times at this point, and me and myfriends are no strangers to Drugs, and are all super comfortablearound each other when doing so.
Anyways. As people startedshowing up and getting ready before we headed out, it started tooccur to me, holy shit, I am high as fuck. Success, time to try andleave.
Over the next 4ish hours, I had what I can onlydescribe as a series of phases, which is pretty typical on Acid. Themood around you shifts sometimes, and you go with it. Thoughts becomereality, etc. At no point throughout the night would I consider anyof what I experienced a bad trip necessarily... just.... notsomething I would typically experience on LSD.
As we werewalking towards the venue, I started to perpetuate this idea of whatI like to call the “Truman Show” experience. I had somehow cometo the realization that we weren't going to this party to see Slynk,but we WERE Slynk. Which first of all is ridiculous, because Slynk isjust a DJ. Not a group of 6-7 people. But furthermore is what reallystarted to lay the track for the rest of my trips theme. Which was: Iwas not who I thought I was. And I don't mean like, at that currentmoment. I mean me, as a human, and everything I knew about my life,was not what was actually reality. It started just before we leftwhen we took a big group picture in all our attire, that sort of“matched” Slynk's new album cover. Again, we are awesome.
Ican't really explain the timeline of how it happened, but I felt likewe walked down the same street a series of times on the way there,and each time I made the walk I was realizing and discovering moreand more about what was real, and what wasn't. Almost like watchingpaint slowly chip away on the walls around you. It was unveiling thismask of reality, or what I thought was reality. At this point I wasfully convinced that all the people around me were Actors. These werepeople I had known for a decent amount of time and was verycomfortable with as mentioned. There were 2 new people I had just metthat night with us as well, but they were amazing and very chill.Comfortable. I remember a distinct moment of thinking, or someonesaying the phrase “How far back does it go?”, and that's when Isort of completely lost it. That thought stuck with me for a while.Like, how far back do I actuallyremember about what I know. I started hearing sort of a Narratorvoice almost, or my thoughts, describing the occurrence of me meetingMr. C and Mr. D, and the experience we had at Shambhala together fora week. My mind was narrating it to say “Here's what you think youknow, but this has all been a story actually. We made this for you asyour first drug experience”. The first drug being whatever drug Ihad taken in whatever world I was convinced the real world was, whereI actually was, and not this life I had known for so long.
Now,as any experienced drug user might also do, I like to have a fewthings that ground me when I'm going out and having fun trips.Something to keep me logical still. One of them, which would havebeen really helpful to remember at this point in the night, was thatI existed normally before I took these drugs, and eventually would beback to that point when they wore off. I didn't remember thisunfortunately. At all. Rookie mistake.
After standing in linefor a bit, with me apparently shouting “I AM DRUGS!” for quitesome time haha, as if to tell everyone Okay, I figured it out, thisis all fake and this had all been created for me as my first drugexperience, anything that happened just started to perpetuate thistruth. We obviously had to take me out of line because shouting Drugsis not a good thing in public, never mind that you ARE drugs... butwhen my friends separated me from the line I took it as a “Okay,he's figured it out now, let's get ready for the big reveal”. So Iwas convinced that they were delaying letting me enter to make sureeverything was ready and in order. Bringing me to the back entranceor something. Almost like a surprise party, where someone brings theperson everybody is surprising into the room intentionally knowingeveryone is in there waiting to surprise him. Probably a littleegotistical of me but... that's what I thought.
Anyways. Iguess my friend Mr. D finally said basically, we can't do this with<me>, he's fucked and is drawing a lot of attention. Fairenough. Thank you Mr. D. So he walked me back to his apartment. Butas we were walking back I had a bit of a shift of what I thought washappening, moving from “Yay we are actually a celebrity troupe andabout to roll into our own party”, to... How do I describe it...almost an “Anti-drug” commercial feeling. I was now convincedthat everything I had ever known was actually just what I had createdin my mind. It's going to sound cheesy, and I hate using a moviereference like this, but it all felt very “Inception” like. Themoment when they describe that the two main characters had been in aDream for an entire life, and lost track of what was a Dream and whatwas real, and they were about to step out of that Dream and back intoreality for the first time in god knows how long. This actuallyreally scared me, but I was also really intrigued about what the realworld was like.
There was a phase sometime in this timelinewhere I also thought I was being shown the effects of Drugsintentionally, and had been given them in this other world, as if toshow me “Listen, we're going to give this to you to show you thisexperience. But this is why Drugs are bad and you can't do them. Youdon't know what's real then”. There were a few moments where I keptsaying “Okay, I figured it out”, and I had a sequence where Ithought Mr. D was actually a police officer that was escorting me toJail or something, that I had just been caught with Drugs in thisother world, and that's what broke me out of my fake one. That was alittle scary too. But it didn't last long that phase.
This iswhere things got a little weird. I don't really remember details,because I was trying to figure out the final secret of how to snapout and break the curtain of this fake lifelong world I had lived in,but we were back at Mr. D's apartment at this point, and our radfriend Mrs. M was there because she was staying with Mr. D and didn'tcome out with us. I love Mrs. M, she's great and really nice to havearound when tripping because she takes care of people. All of us takecare of each other. Good vibes. But at this point in the trip where Ifelt like I was trying to just jump over that last hurdle ofconcluding my drug experience, and figure out how to snap out of it,I convinced myself that Mrs. M was actually the person that I hadoriginally done this drug with however long ago and was experiencingthis all with, and I was about to be back in that place with her andrealize it. If anyone reads this and doesn't know me as a person, Iam 100% never the type of person that would overstep boundaries or becreepy like I think I was with Mrs. M, but at this point I was fullyconvinced that Mr. D didn't even exist anymore, so I think I actedout on this idea that me and Mrs. M were on an experience together totry and snap me out of it. Serious apologies to Mr. D and Mrs. M forthat, you guys are super amazing.
Anyways, this was sortof the final stage of my trip. In the apartment. It felt like as Isat on Mr. D's couch, sitting across from the two of them, that ahuge long time-lapse was unveiling itself in front of me. I literallywatched what I thought was myself go through stages of a life, andrelived moments I had thought this drug had created for me. It'sweird how vividly I remember it honestly, because usually I'm a bitof a thought shifting or specific analyzer of things when I'm high. Iground myself. I was very ungrounded at this point, and kind of lostmy head. It was like a series of flashbacks, but that were beingacted out by these two people infront of me, that were probably justsitting there trying to calm me down.
I went into the bathroomafter a bit, and stood in there staring at the wall, kind offrustrated now. I couldn't figure out how to get back. Not back tothe actual world we live in as humans, but back to where I thought Iwas actually from. I had a few moments where I thought about the ideathat I was a 2 Dimensional being, and didn't exist at all outside ofmy thoughts. That the world I knew was an environment I had created.I looked over at the shower and could see what I can only describe asthe figure of an actual person, but painted perfectly with the detailof the shower wall and everything behind it. They were kneeling downand I could see them slightly move around, but only subtly. If you'refamiliar with LSD you know the typical “melting” look of things.This wasn't just shifting textures though .This was a legitimatehuman figure trying to blend in. As if to confirm that Yes, you cantell now this is all fake, we'll show you the real world. Welcomeback. I could hear Mr. D and Mrs. M sort of talking in the distance,giggling a bit, and so imagined that they were sitting in a room withme where we had originally started all this experience and werewatching me come back to them finally.
I started to noticerandom colours, almost drawing me to look up at the corner of thebathroom into the corner of the ceiling. I know it was just randomreflections and interactions of light, but it felt like a stairwayalmost, and as I shifted my thoughts towards it, I would be“released” from this fantasy 3D world, and could finally returnto whatever form I actually existed in. Now, I've had another out ofbody experience on Acid before, but in the past it was mostly just aviewing experiment, where I could see myself doing things from athird, distant perspective laying on the side of a hill. Floatingalmost. It didn't feel like that this time though really. It feltlike I was actually leaving this place. Almost what you can imaginepeople think dying would be like. Transcending. Leaving everythingyou know behind. Also a bit of an intimidating thought.
When Ifinally thought I was ready, I opened the door to the bathroom, andfor a brief moment wasn't sure what I expected to see. Space? Just afloating fractal universe? A fully blank, white room with some fancygadgets around me, and someone waiting to ask me “So, what did youthink?”. I don't know. It felt very, and here goes the moviereference thing again, Total Recall-ish. Like all of that was Recall.And I was leaving it now.
Unfortunately to my space obsessedmind, I was still in Mr. D's apartment. It's a nice place though, soI was alright there haha. I was just really confused. I had a reallyhard time throughout the night trying to figure out what was realanymore and what wasn't, and I expected to open that door and have itall revealed to me. Truman Show style. I sat back down. Got back up.Went back into the bathroom. Looked around his apartment for a bitkind of laughing to myself for not being able to figure it out, andkind of just said to myself “What the fuck is happening? Like, isthis actually real or not?”.
I don't really know whattriggered it after a good half hour or more of confusion, but Ipretty abruptly snapped out of it, grounded myself again and realizedOkay, that was kind of messed up, but No, you really do exist. Mr. Dcame out and chatted with me for a bit, and I was feeling almostentirely sober at this point after talking to him. He commented onthat too. Like it was noticeable that I had just come to terms withit sort of. I didn't “come down” per say like usual, I just hadthis sudden realization that what I thought was actually happeningand was about to climax, was not. It was a little relieving to behonest, but also a bit disappointing. Anti-climactic. I kind of likedthe idea of being a 2 dimensional space being.
Anyways.There's a lot of little weird things that I don't know how to explainhappened, and maybe I'll find good references to outline them like Ihave a bit already for some of the rest of this but... that was aninteresting night. And I'm a little bit more intimidated by Acid now.Actually a lot more intimidated. Thanks for taking care of mefriends.
I'll start it off with a bit of a preface. Meand some of my awesome, close friends were going out last night to aDJ we all really enjoy called Slynk. We were in our usual attire,which, if you understand anything about me and my friends, means wewere dressed up in animal onesies, space suits and fur. We areawesome. Anyways, the night started out pretty typical, I chilledwith Mr. D for a bit at his place before everybody came over to headout. We had a really awesome talk about virtual reality andprojecting other worlds to people through music and visuals. Prettycool conversation and project idea. Prior to people showing up I took2 tabs of LSD. It should be noted that this was not my first timedoing Acid, and this wasn't the largest dose I had taken either. Ihave probably done Acid 7-8 times at this point, and me and myfriends are no strangers to Drugs, and are all super comfortablearound each other when doing so.
Anyways. As people startedshowing up and getting ready before we headed out, it started tooccur to me, holy shit, I am high as fuck. Success, time to try andleave.
Over the next 4ish hours, I had what I can onlydescribe as a series of phases, which is pretty typical on Acid. Themood around you shifts sometimes, and you go with it. Thoughts becomereality, etc. At no point throughout the night would I consider anyof what I experienced a bad trip necessarily... just.... notsomething I would typically experience on LSD.
As we werewalking towards the venue, I started to perpetuate this idea of whatI like to call the “Truman Show” experience. I had somehow cometo the realization that we weren't going to this party to see Slynk,but we WERE Slynk. Which first of all is ridiculous, because Slynk isjust a DJ. Not a group of 6-7 people. But furthermore is what reallystarted to lay the track for the rest of my trips theme. Which was: Iwas not who I thought I was. And I don't mean like, at that currentmoment. I mean me, as a human, and everything I knew about my life,was not what was actually reality. It started just before we leftwhen we took a big group picture in all our attire, that sort of“matched” Slynk's new album cover. Again, we are awesome.
Ican't really explain the timeline of how it happened, but I felt likewe walked down the same street a series of times on the way there,and each time I made the walk I was realizing and discovering moreand more about what was real, and what wasn't. Almost like watchingpaint slowly chip away on the walls around you. It was unveiling thismask of reality, or what I thought was reality. At this point I wasfully convinced that all the people around me were Actors. These werepeople I had known for a decent amount of time and was verycomfortable with as mentioned. There were 2 new people I had just metthat night with us as well, but they were amazing and very chill.Comfortable. I remember a distinct moment of thinking, or someonesaying the phrase “How far back does it go?”, and that's when Isort of completely lost it. That thought stuck with me for a while.Like, how far back do I actuallyremember about what I know. I started hearing sort of a Narratorvoice almost, or my thoughts, describing the occurrence of me meetingMr. C and Mr. D, and the experience we had at Shambhala together fora week. My mind was narrating it to say “Here's what you think youknow, but this has all been a story actually. We made this for you asyour first drug experience”. The first drug being whatever drug Ihad taken in whatever world I was convinced the real world was, whereI actually was, and not this life I had known for so long.
Now,as any experienced drug user might also do, I like to have a fewthings that ground me when I'm going out and having fun trips.Something to keep me logical still. One of them, which would havebeen really helpful to remember at this point in the night, was thatI existed normally before I took these drugs, and eventually would beback to that point when they wore off. I didn't remember thisunfortunately. At all. Rookie mistake.
After standing in linefor a bit, with me apparently shouting “I AM DRUGS!” for quitesome time haha, as if to tell everyone Okay, I figured it out, thisis all fake and this had all been created for me as my first drugexperience, anything that happened just started to perpetuate thistruth. We obviously had to take me out of line because shouting Drugsis not a good thing in public, never mind that you ARE drugs... butwhen my friends separated me from the line I took it as a “Okay,he's figured it out now, let's get ready for the big reveal”. So Iwas convinced that they were delaying letting me enter to make sureeverything was ready and in order. Bringing me to the back entranceor something. Almost like a surprise party, where someone brings theperson everybody is surprising into the room intentionally knowingeveryone is in there waiting to surprise him. Probably a littleegotistical of me but... that's what I thought.
Anyways. Iguess my friend Mr. D finally said basically, we can't do this with<me>, he's fucked and is drawing a lot of attention. Fairenough. Thank you Mr. D. So he walked me back to his apartment. Butas we were walking back I had a bit of a shift of what I thought washappening, moving from “Yay we are actually a celebrity troupe andabout to roll into our own party”, to... How do I describe it...almost an “Anti-drug” commercial feeling. I was now convincedthat everything I had ever known was actually just what I had createdin my mind. It's going to sound cheesy, and I hate using a moviereference like this, but it all felt very “Inception” like. Themoment when they describe that the two main characters had been in aDream for an entire life, and lost track of what was a Dream and whatwas real, and they were about to step out of that Dream and back intoreality for the first time in god knows how long. This actuallyreally scared me, but I was also really intrigued about what the realworld was like.
There was a phase sometime in this timelinewhere I also thought I was being shown the effects of Drugsintentionally, and had been given them in this other world, as if toshow me “Listen, we're going to give this to you to show you thisexperience. But this is why Drugs are bad and you can't do them. Youdon't know what's real then”. There were a few moments where I keptsaying “Okay, I figured it out”, and I had a sequence where Ithought Mr. D was actually a police officer that was escorting me toJail or something, that I had just been caught with Drugs in thisother world, and that's what broke me out of my fake one. That was alittle scary too. But it didn't last long that phase.
This iswhere things got a little weird. I don't really remember details,because I was trying to figure out the final secret of how to snapout and break the curtain of this fake lifelong world I had lived in,but we were back at Mr. D's apartment at this point, and our radfriend Mrs. M was there because she was staying with Mr. D and didn'tcome out with us. I love Mrs. M, she's great and really nice to havearound when tripping because she takes care of people. All of us takecare of each other. Good vibes. But at this point in the trip where Ifelt like I was trying to just jump over that last hurdle ofconcluding my drug experience, and figure out how to snap out of it,I convinced myself that Mrs. M was actually the person that I hadoriginally done this drug with however long ago and was experiencingthis all with, and I was about to be back in that place with her andrealize it. If anyone reads this and doesn't know me as a person, Iam 100% never the type of person that would overstep boundaries or becreepy like I think I was with Mrs. M, but at this point I was fullyconvinced that Mr. D didn't even exist anymore, so I think I actedout on this idea that me and Mrs. M were on an experience together totry and snap me out of it. Serious apologies to Mr. D and Mrs. M forthat, you guys are super amazing.
Anyways, this was sortof the final stage of my trip. In the apartment. It felt like as Isat on Mr. D's couch, sitting across from the two of them, that ahuge long time-lapse was unveiling itself in front of me. I literallywatched what I thought was myself go through stages of a life, andrelived moments I had thought this drug had created for me. It'sweird how vividly I remember it honestly, because usually I'm a bitof a thought shifting or specific analyzer of things when I'm high. Iground myself. I was very ungrounded at this point, and kind of lostmy head. It was like a series of flashbacks, but that were beingacted out by these two people infront of me, that were probably justsitting there trying to calm me down.
I went into the bathroomafter a bit, and stood in there staring at the wall, kind offrustrated now. I couldn't figure out how to get back. Not back tothe actual world we live in as humans, but back to where I thought Iwas actually from. I had a few moments where I thought about the ideathat I was a 2 Dimensional being, and didn't exist at all outside ofmy thoughts. That the world I knew was an environment I had created.I looked over at the shower and could see what I can only describe asthe figure of an actual person, but painted perfectly with the detailof the shower wall and everything behind it. They were kneeling downand I could see them slightly move around, but only subtly. If you'refamiliar with LSD you know the typical “melting” look of things.This wasn't just shifting textures though .This was a legitimatehuman figure trying to blend in. As if to confirm that Yes, you cantell now this is all fake, we'll show you the real world. Welcomeback. I could hear Mr. D and Mrs. M sort of talking in the distance,giggling a bit, and so imagined that they were sitting in a room withme where we had originally started all this experience and werewatching me come back to them finally.
I started to noticerandom colours, almost drawing me to look up at the corner of thebathroom into the corner of the ceiling. I know it was just randomreflections and interactions of light, but it felt like a stairwayalmost, and as I shifted my thoughts towards it, I would be“released” from this fantasy 3D world, and could finally returnto whatever form I actually existed in. Now, I've had another out ofbody experience on Acid before, but in the past it was mostly just aviewing experiment, where I could see myself doing things from athird, distant perspective laying on the side of a hill. Floatingalmost. It didn't feel like that this time though really. It feltlike I was actually leaving this place. Almost what you can imaginepeople think dying would be like. Transcending. Leaving everythingyou know behind. Also a bit of an intimidating thought.
When Ifinally thought I was ready, I opened the door to the bathroom, andfor a brief moment wasn't sure what I expected to see. Space? Just afloating fractal universe? A fully blank, white room with some fancygadgets around me, and someone waiting to ask me “So, what did youthink?”. I don't know. It felt very, and here goes the moviereference thing again, Total Recall-ish. Like all of that was Recall.And I was leaving it now.
Unfortunately to my space obsessedmind, I was still in Mr. D's apartment. It's a nice place though, soI was alright there haha. I was just really confused. I had a reallyhard time throughout the night trying to figure out what was realanymore and what wasn't, and I expected to open that door and have itall revealed to me. Truman Show style. I sat back down. Got back up.Went back into the bathroom. Looked around his apartment for a bitkind of laughing to myself for not being able to figure it out, andkind of just said to myself “What the fuck is happening? Like, isthis actually real or not?”.
I don't really know whattriggered it after a good half hour or more of confusion, but Ipretty abruptly snapped out of it, grounded myself again and realizedOkay, that was kind of messed up, but No, you really do exist. Mr. Dcame out and chatted with me for a bit, and I was feeling almostentirely sober at this point after talking to him. He commented onthat too. Like it was noticeable that I had just come to terms withit sort of. I didn't “come down” per say like usual, I just hadthis sudden realization that what I thought was actually happeningand was about to climax, was not. It was a little relieving to behonest, but also a bit disappointing. Anti-climactic. I kind of likedthe idea of being a 2 dimensional space being.
Anyways.There's a lot of little weird things that I don't know how to explainhappened, and maybe I'll find good references to outline them like Ihave a bit already for some of the rest of this but... that was aninteresting night. And I'm a little bit more intimidated by Acid now.Actually a lot more intimidated. Thanks for taking care of mefriends.
I am reminded very much of a time when I sat and watched one music video after another, convinced that the artists who had created them had made those songs and those videos specifically because they knew that I would be on LSD that day at that time and I was supposed to see them, to inherently understand the emotional messages they carried. Watching a Lady Gaga video was especially insightful.