LSD 1 hit (unknown amount) First time in 10 years. Reflecting. Where did I go wrong

[Crackedview]

7:28 pm Saturday 27th Sept. 2014

Drop acid sublingual. And now we wait.

I would like to mention that I ingested orally .5mg of clonazapam at 4:30 pm

A small amount of methamphetamine Was also orally ingested. No more than 100mg but no less 25mg with a large coffee. And an unknown amount was administrated sublingually. (Was one of my filters from anal dosing methamp)

7:50 pm 100mg of marihuana was smoked.

8:02 pm I definitely feel the acid kicking in. I'm still sipping on the meth/coffee combo. Sitting on front porch alone at the house that was supposed to be for me and my children. I have a small fire going and it's started to cool off with the high gust of winds north by northeast. I just want to know where my life went wrong.

8:11 pm: perception is definitely off. Hard to tell distance and angles. At times I feel as if I'm becoming larger bigger superior than my problems and surroundings. A small amount of weed is stuck in my throat and is really bothering me. But I do nothing about it. I feel a strong power pulling me in towards it. It feels almost sexual. Smoking a ciggeratte I did not like going in the house negative vibes in there. I feel like going for a walk in forest trails. Will report back after.

Most intense orgasam ever bout 10 min ago. Feel so dirty. Felt very satanic. Very high. Intense trying to keep it together.
Not the i intended to go

Very intense music. Feeling pain what am I hiding from.

10:02 took 1mg clonazapam cuz to intense. Thinking of aborting trip via seroquel Will wait until clon kicks in

Never been so high.


10:20 pm Eating toast with sugar aborted on making pancakes due to risks involved with cooking.

How did I get this far?? Maybe I am delusion. How do I let go??

It is like reality being condensed.

What is reality?

10:59 still very very high but feeling better inside I can see beauty in everything very colorful Full full of colors still trying to grasp reality.

B. still needs god can we turn our backs on him he must be at a bad place. Spiritually. He needs to own what he did to truly be set free including A. Know the truth and the truth shall set you free

11:24 clon kicked in feeling like I peeked should start levelling out now. Still very high but it feels manageable.

11:31 having a Budweiser to see effects. I consumed toast all glass if milk followed by a ciggeratte I guess I am still pretty fucking high.

11:54 I finally got a chance to cry I am no longer a robot. I was once a small child What is he so afraid of? Help him he is alone and scared. Why isn't dad here. Go past. We now in Winnipeg. I'm very young. I'm so alone so scared. Help him.

12:23am texting with J. still in control I thought I was going to lose reality for awhile

12:44 still high but glad I txtd J. some how it got me back to the mission must know the truth that will set me free.

12:52 just finished Budweiser now gonna see if I can find the rest of the weed

1:05am got side tract going on my walk in forest trails I don't care about the bugs nor the rain.

Forest trails much to confusing and unsafe 1:23am if I learned anything it's much deeper rooted very complex issue but its not the latest problems that are the problem it's something befor any addictions have taking hold. Still searching for the truth

Look at what satan has taking from S. She just wants to come home and I can't provide her with one she forgets what the house looks like and I forgot what's really important. Family is the most important and if I have to lose my family to gain it then I lose it. Whoever tries to save it will lose it and he who loses it gains it

2:21am made French toast. Taste very well. I'm having more of positive outlook and coming to terms with the mistakes I have made boom crash the sound of my heart the beat goes on and on and on an on on nanana still very high but

2:46 I'm happy there is hope! Just wanna dance now guess clon losing effect surprised how much going power this LSD has pleasantly

3:13 am just had another orgasm not like the first one and not as satanic.

This definitely feels like the end of the journey and although I did accomplish some of my goals I feel that my selfish desires never allowed me for a full break through. It could be that I polluted the LSD with clon and amp. If I were to experience the full benefits I would have to be more physically, spiritually and mentally prepared.

 

[Hecticus]

So after 10 years you dose LSD with an unknown dosage of Meth and a large coffee. You went wrong right from the start is that not obvious? Unbelievable.

 

[Crackedview]

So after 10 years you dose LSD with an unknown dosage of Meth and a large coffee. You went wrong right from the start is that not obvious? Unbelievable.

That's not what I meant. I meant where did I go wrong in life. And the LSD I took one hit I just don't the micro grams of it. I obtained from a trusted source who used himself before me, I just never thought of asking the dosage. Further more, I know the meth was a small amount (little crumbs and whatever was absorbed into a q-tip). I had a friend and family member know what I was using. Although they were not with me physically we did remain in contact.

 

[cj]

Sounds like your torn about whether you really want to know what's wrong with your life. You fought the trip from the very beginning by eating the clonazapam. Also weed and meth mixed together make me anxious as shit maybe your different but I'm sure that added to the intensity. If you try this again in the future dont do meth or smoke weed. When you feel that overwhelming LSD feeling coming on take a deep breath and let it do it's thing. If you treat it with respect it tends to return the favor.

 

[pofacedhoe]

you dont need lsd to know whats pissing you off in life.

sorry but you only sober have to look at the main things you want out of life and whether you have achieved them

you talk of kids and a house. so what happened?

 

[Crackedview]

@crimsonjunk:
I admit I did not give the LSD the respect it deserves and rushed into it. I originally took the clonazepam because I was coming off a 4 day meth binge where 1.5 grams of nice clean shards were used with only 11 hours of sleep in total. I then took the small dose of meth to offset the sedating effects of the clonazepam. I plan on going on another LSD trip this Saturday. I plan on sleeping regularly and eating healthier as well as not using any other substances for one week prior to better prepare myself.

@pofacedhoe:
I became a drug addict/alcoholic. Crack cocaine and alcohol were my drugs of choice for the past 8 years. I was no longer able to take care of my children. Although I do see them regularly I feel depressed because this is not the way I intended to live. 4 months ago I used crystal methamphetamine. I no longer use crack cocaine and rarely drink alcohol anymore. I found my cure! Or so I thought. I now use crystal meth almost daily. I feel like it is permanently transforming me into something much worse. I've tried to get sober with inpatient rehabs and AA NA CA meetings. Longest I've lasted sober is 4.5 months. I just want to know why I am the way I am. I've been reading about LSD and that it may have some psychiatric benefits. I figure it worth a try.

 

[Hecticus]

Sorry for the criticism. Tripping after a 4 day run is definitely not recommended but since you are a full time addict there probably won't be a perfect time. If you can before your next trip sleep, hydrate and eat as much as possible and maybe have a light oral dose of meth to blunt the withdrawals before dosing the LSD. Good luck.

 

[MikeRWK]

I think mushrooms might give you the introspection you're looking for.