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Love

Captain.Heroin

Captain.Heroin

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
94,863
Location
Thousands of Miles Away From You
Love killed me.
I'm dead, dying here alone.
Where are you? Not here. I wish,
I wish I had another chance. I'd take back all the things I said.
I'd keep going until I'd say nothing at all and I'd be dead.
As dead as I am now, without you. Sleeping in our sheets. Stained.
Silky smooth satin swathed around my body as I dream of you.
Alone. Forever. My fateful distasteful dish.
Served cold. In winter.
Why? I am alone. I am dead.
Is this my decrepit home?
I wanted to never love again. I asked every way I knew how.
If god is love then may god be damned.
And you can devour my worthless soul.
I just want to be left alone.
Cold and dead, untouched like canned food.
Until I'm needed.
Used.
Discarded.
Like the insulin syringe.
That's all I'm worth.
One use.
One go.
I don't wish to live again.
Goodbye.
Hello.
I love you, but it's so hard to say these foreboding words to your flirtatious face.
You don't seem to understand.
You don't seem to want to ask why, "Why?"
You don't seem to love me back.
You don't seem to care if I live or if I die.
I shouldn't care.
I don't.
I may never have, for the nature of my heart's desires are a mystery.
They will always lie to me, every chance they get.
And so will you, and I forgive you.
I do not possess a single regret.
I don't care about any of this,
it was just a joke to me.
All of this was,
except for you.
And what we shared together, in these sheets.
The ones I wish to cry in now, and die in alone. Cold. Forever.
I'm through.

NSFW:
I once looked at the stars with you.
But I guess the stars have fallen.
Crashed into the Earth and lost all warmth.
Love..

Or what I thought was love.
Has that died too?
It has for you. Now I wait for mine to die.
I beg for it.
Leave me cold with no warmth left inside.
No star shine left..
All the butterflies are dead and I smile.

I once looked at the stars with you.
And I thought they could be reached
But now I look at the dirt alone
And know it's where I belong...

Hanging Garden - Where I Belong



largely inspired by this and this



enjoy
 
Ouch. I felt this. Don't ever give up. Once a girl broke my heart and I was depressed and it reminds me of it. I might try some ayahuasca again to try and resolve my PTSD...God is not exactly just love, she is an entity. Yes, a girl in my eyes but whatever. Keep writing^^ Perhaps try to add a little more complexity.
 
Aeon Psyche said:
Ouch. I felt this. Don't ever give up. Once a girl broke my heart and I was depressed and it reminds me of it. I might try some ayahuasca again to try and resolve my PTSD...God is not exactly just love, she is an entity. Yes, a girl in my eyes but whatever. Keep writing^^ Perhaps try to add a little more complexity.
Click to expand...
It was simple for a reason. I wanted to put it in few words as possible. I wanted to highlight love and loss in one go, instead of segregating them (which tends to render people kind of blind to the whole of life).

Part of love is knowing if they are happier without you or are no longer here, that you cherish what you had and not take it as if it will be forever (and permanent phenomena would grow stale and tired with time...)
 
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