Looking for Guidance

[ddrsinc442]

I'm 20-25Y/Omale in the UK

I Work a 9-5, good potential career progression but I don't really enjoy it.
I've been using drugs since I was 14
First a bit of weed, then the booze when I was 15.

Then in 2021 or so I found the galenika benzos. They were cheap and always dosed perfectly. I also was ordering bottles of codeine linctus galore...
I've always preferred pharmas to street drugs, never liked coke or K or MD, even up until now.

After having a seizure off pregabalin in 2022,I quit all drugs (bar a bit of weed).

Since mid/late 2024 (as I've been working this job and realised the real world isn't as nice as college or school was) I've been back on the pharmas.

Recently it's to the point where I'm on something more days than not. I mainly use clonazepam, alprazolam, dihydrocodeine, sometimes Zopiclone, kratom occasionally. And I do drink - although actually ironically very responsibly. I don't think I'm physically dependent on anything in particular (i.e. I would face no physical withdrawals if I were to quit everything CT)

I feel the benzos are a bigger problem for me than the opiates as I have more of an urge to do them days in a row - I prefer not to use opiates more than twice a week whereas I always feel better on benzes. They just make my job go by easier, dull anything that's hurting me emotionally, which I know is a genuinely terrible way to deal with things.

If you looked at me normally, you wouldn't notice anything. I work my hours, I have good relationships with those around me, I am healthy and physically fit.No one knows anything about my use of these drugs.

Is there anyone else in a similar situation to me? I'm feeling stuck and don't really have anyone to talk to about this...

 

[funafternoon666]

Check if you have some emotional stuff underlying, maybe what makes you unhappy and if you
can change it, maybe with help from a therapist.
I understand that the benzoos are more attractive for everyday use, less stress, easier social interaction,
but if you start a thread, you must be worried a bit, so take your time, but act on it.
Don't let it pass you by. Time flies when you're high...

Take care

 

[paltatomate]

I always enjoyed working, and drugs I did only with friends or have that extra buzz when I was feeling good.
Since my job became 9-5 my wish to take drugs (and actual taking) has increased a lot. Sometimes I feel like the only way I can do my job is while under the influence of something or other. Monotony and lack of challenge and stimuli have a lot to do with it.

I wish I could give you some advice here, but I'm trying to find a way out of this myself.