Lonely Suicidal Teen.. - some poem I wrote

[luv rolling]

Lonely Suicidal Teen.
My heart is black today,
It is like this everday,
I cannot seem to find another human being to say,
the words "I love you" and mean it in everyway,
I wish I had the courage to kill myself today,
but I dont and my heart wastes away for another day,
Is it all about the play?
You ask, but no it is all about the say.
I ask myself why was I put here?
To feel this way full of grief and fear?
The drugs help but only for a short while,
To find more I must drive many a mile.
I can't seem to have any good luck,
Maybe I should jump off a building, would anyone give a fuck?
No I dont think anyone in the world,
Not a boy not a girl
Would shed a tear
So here I go full of fear
I jump into the air and begin to fall fast
I watch all the windows go past
I am leaving this world now
Nerver again to raise an eyebrow.

 

[RingsOfSaturn]

hmmmmm.
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if you rave for drugs,you're not a raver,you're just a drug user. yes, i drop, but i don't *need* to drop to have a good time. you go sober, i go sober.

 

[*SWeeT-e*]

I dunno if you wrote this about yourself or not, but I'm gonna assume you did. And trust me, I know how ya feel hun, I've been there myself many many times and written alot of poems that sound just like yours.
I think the biggest mistake we make when we're thinking this way is exactly what you wrote: nobody gives a fuck. Is that really true? Ask yourself. I know it *feels* true, it seems like there's no hope and it'll never get any better. And I'm not gonna tell you there's some magic cure, that one day you'll wake up and suddenly you'll be happy and never feel this way again. Never happened for me, life's always been a struggle just to stay alive. And the thing that gets me through is not "looking for all the good things instead of focussing on all the bad" and all those dumb cliches. While very true, still it's over-simplifying the problem, and that just don't always cut it...ya know?
But I will tell you this: there IS one thing in life worth living for....LOVE. (in my opinion.) I'm sure someone, if not many people, in your life love you. And if you can't live for yourself, at least live for them. And if you think there's no one in your life that loves you, you're wrong, because maybe someone does and you just don't know it yet. And besides, there's a whole bunch of people here on BL that are full of love.

Much love, peace, and *hugs*,
kimmy.
ps. if you ever want...email me...I always write back.

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~*~If we both were to die, and I went to heaven and you went to hell, I would give up my place in heaven to come and join you in hell, just so you wouldn't have to be alone.~*~