MyDoorsAreOpen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2003
- Messages
- 8,549
"Live hard, live fast, die young" -- chosen willingly or forced by circumstance?
I watched a documentary about North Korea awhile back, where it talked about the prison camps. You can be sentenced indefinitely to one of these, for something someone in your family was accused of doing, i.e. for something that's not your fault, and possibly was not even done in the first place (to say nothing of the ethics of punishing someone who certainly committed that deed). The camps are as big as cities, and are surrounded by nothing but wilderness. They are about as bleak as human existence gets -- constant monotonous labor for no pay, no talking, no heat in the winter, no privacy or time alone, not enough time to sleep, no medicine, small handfuls of rice as the only sustinance, and a bullet to the head for breaking any rule even once. In essence, they're death camps. Really no one gets out alive.
I've realized that if I were put in one of these North Korean prison camps or something similar, especially if it was for something I didn't do or had no control over, I think pretty quickly I'd decide to go down in a blaze of glory, risking it all for one shot at either escape or revolt. I'd do it soon, before the psychological toll of the environment was taken on me, and I hung on quietly dying for some false promise that if I kept it up I'd eventually get let out or rescued. I'd do it before my spirit was totally broken. I think many here can relate, and would hope they'd be able to do the same, provided they understood just how hopeless getting imprisoned in that camp truly was.
And I wondered: could this same principle, but on a milder and longer-term scale, be the key to understanding the life outlook of those who've chosen to live hard and live fast, and are comfortable knowing that this will probably cause them to die young? I'm betting that up until consciously deciding on this path, life for many of these people was experienced as very painful, and full of frustrations and disappointments. If I had every reason to believe it would always be that way for me, I might live extremely close to the edge, as losing my life might not be all that bad an option, and neither would doing something high-risk-high-return, and actually getting the high return. :D Plus, having a quiet, safe life gives one plenty of opportunities to think about and obsess over shitty things in the past. (Ever read one of those stories about some Japanese WWII vet or some repentant mafioso who has a quiet life somewhere remote and quaint, but is haunted by nightmares of brutal killings they witnessed / committed, by night?) A hard and fast life doesn't give much time to think beyond immediate concerns, and provides plenty of distractions from things you're trying not to think about.
Now, I understand that this is the path that leads some who live close to the edge to do so. But what proportion? Do you think virtually all people who live by this philosophy could relate to what I just wrote to some degree? Or are there other, more common and more important reasons that lead people to this attitude? Does one find the legendary hero who, despite an idyllic upbringing and much to live for, chooses to put his life on the line on a daily basis for purely moral, philosophical, or socio-political reasons? Or is a steady diet of adversity the only real way to make a maverick?
I ask because I'm aware that this philosophy of life is not uncommon among BLers, especially ones who don't stick around long (if you'll pardon a most flippant pun), but even among some long term regulars. I was wondering if any who post in P&S might be able to share your story or opinions on this matter. I for one didn't used to understand this way of thinking. I kept mostly out of harm's way growing up, and have always taken it for granted that I'd be around a long time, and in fact had a duty, a mission to accomplish, by being around a long time. Therefore, I've really tried to rein in my risk taking streak, and really not put things on the line that I know I can't afford to lose if my existence is to stay bearable. I deviate sometimes, but oh well.
I watched a documentary about North Korea awhile back, where it talked about the prison camps. You can be sentenced indefinitely to one of these, for something someone in your family was accused of doing, i.e. for something that's not your fault, and possibly was not even done in the first place (to say nothing of the ethics of punishing someone who certainly committed that deed). The camps are as big as cities, and are surrounded by nothing but wilderness. They are about as bleak as human existence gets -- constant monotonous labor for no pay, no talking, no heat in the winter, no privacy or time alone, not enough time to sleep, no medicine, small handfuls of rice as the only sustinance, and a bullet to the head for breaking any rule even once. In essence, they're death camps. Really no one gets out alive.
I've realized that if I were put in one of these North Korean prison camps or something similar, especially if it was for something I didn't do or had no control over, I think pretty quickly I'd decide to go down in a blaze of glory, risking it all for one shot at either escape or revolt. I'd do it soon, before the psychological toll of the environment was taken on me, and I hung on quietly dying for some false promise that if I kept it up I'd eventually get let out or rescued. I'd do it before my spirit was totally broken. I think many here can relate, and would hope they'd be able to do the same, provided they understood just how hopeless getting imprisoned in that camp truly was.
And I wondered: could this same principle, but on a milder and longer-term scale, be the key to understanding the life outlook of those who've chosen to live hard and live fast, and are comfortable knowing that this will probably cause them to die young? I'm betting that up until consciously deciding on this path, life for many of these people was experienced as very painful, and full of frustrations and disappointments. If I had every reason to believe it would always be that way for me, I might live extremely close to the edge, as losing my life might not be all that bad an option, and neither would doing something high-risk-high-return, and actually getting the high return. :D Plus, having a quiet, safe life gives one plenty of opportunities to think about and obsess over shitty things in the past. (Ever read one of those stories about some Japanese WWII vet or some repentant mafioso who has a quiet life somewhere remote and quaint, but is haunted by nightmares of brutal killings they witnessed / committed, by night?) A hard and fast life doesn't give much time to think beyond immediate concerns, and provides plenty of distractions from things you're trying not to think about.
Now, I understand that this is the path that leads some who live close to the edge to do so. But what proportion? Do you think virtually all people who live by this philosophy could relate to what I just wrote to some degree? Or are there other, more common and more important reasons that lead people to this attitude? Does one find the legendary hero who, despite an idyllic upbringing and much to live for, chooses to put his life on the line on a daily basis for purely moral, philosophical, or socio-political reasons? Or is a steady diet of adversity the only real way to make a maverick?
I ask because I'm aware that this philosophy of life is not uncommon among BLers, especially ones who don't stick around long (if you'll pardon a most flippant pun), but even among some long term regulars. I was wondering if any who post in P&S might be able to share your story or opinions on this matter. I for one didn't used to understand this way of thinking. I kept mostly out of harm's way growing up, and have always taken it for granted that I'd be around a long time, and in fact had a duty, a mission to accomplish, by being around a long time. Therefore, I've really tried to rein in my risk taking streak, and really not put things on the line that I know I can't afford to lose if my existence is to stay bearable. I deviate sometimes, but oh well.
