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Life with heroin

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DouglasSirk

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
47
I have been addicted to heroin for over a year. I have had limited success with the methadone programme, lying to my girlfriend and family about the actual number of mgs my current dose is. I stay off the gear for a while and then will go back on it.
I have tried (half-heartedly) to get off opiates but I think I dont really want to. I am happier when I have heroin in my system. I really enjoy waking up in the morning and having a smoke. It really mellows me out and takes the edge off my personality. I would love if the stuff wasnt bad for helath and wasnt addictive.
I only smoke, i dont inject although I have in the past.
Has anyone else ever thought about this?
Im not sure if it would be viable to maintain an addiction and still have a good quality of life. It certainly would limit options but Im sure it could be done. A good job would be required to finance the habit. The most notable disadvantage would that it would be hard to travel, especially with air travel, and serious risks would have to be taken regards bringing gear or methadone in luggage.
Also I imagine long term heroin smoking would really be bad for the lungs.

Or am i crazy for even thinking it? It does sound like im in a major case of denial...
 
I think for some people heroin maintenance would definitely be possible, but I think the issue lies within tolerance; it is inevitable. Pushing your tolerance higher and higher isn't the answer; that's when it becomes infeasible to continue the maintenance/dependency/addiction.

I am happier living without heroin; I haven't been using heroin/full agonist opiates for over 21 months.

Not to seem indifferent to your situation, but I think you would get better responses in The Dark Side. I'm going to move it over there. There are a lot of wonderful staff members who moderate TDS so they will do a great job to make sure you are getting helpful, caring advice. :)

I hope everything works out best for you. Take care.
 
Do you think it would be impossible to cycle between periods of enjoyable usage, maintainance dosing and tapering?

It does rather seem to be avoiding the real problem.
 
Hey man, all of us have thought about this before and most of us wish we could do it. I have been smoking heroin for about 4 months now and am currently being forced to "quit"

Everyone in my family thinks I'm quitting for good including my gf...I know I will go back eventually...in my eyes I'm just gonna stay on these subs for a while till everything cools down
and then you know...it doesn't help that I have almost a gram of the best tar I've ever had my hands on LOST somewhere in my apartment...as soon as I get back I'll make it probably 2 nights before I am tearing that place apart..

The main problem is tolerance...you simply won't be able to smoke for that long...the feeling will fade away, and you will slowly turn to needles...and we all know what happens from there...

You just won't get high anymore, you will have to start smoking a shit ton just to feel normal...but every addict knows this...

Goodluck man. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
 
DouglasSirk said:
Do you think it would be impossible to cycle between periods of enjoyable usage, maintainance dosing and tapering?
Click to expand...

This would be what would keep tolerance down. Methadone could be employed a percentage of the time to reduce damage to lumgs.

Im 21.

Heroin seems to make life more enjoyable for me and in my eyes it doesnt necessaroly make me a better person but it makes me a cooler person.
it smoothes out the rough edges of my personality; i dont get nervous or anxious as quick, i remain calm and cool in the face of fear, i refrain from exploding into bouts of rage, i dont prematurely ejaculate in fact i become a sex god.

if i resolve this one problem it seems i will be faced with more personal problems.
 
everyone wishes. but opiates lose the euphoria and all the positive effects as we all know... after a week of smoking its just gonna feel like methadone all over again unless you push your doses... then youre screweed. just get clean
 
one thing you have to consider is how you actually act and are viewed. you may feel calm and in control but you probably look like shit and everyone is afraid you dying or stealing from them. the stuff makes it so it feels like everything is ok when in fact everyone can see that you are not doing well at all.

life without heroin is so much better for me. im on a good antidepressant that helps with my anxiety and suboxone to control cravings. after a while you get to where you actually dont want to get high anymore because you know you will lose all that you worked so hard to get ie pride, lack of guilt, and trust.
 
a successful life is not possible using heroin full time.
all your money, resources, and love will eventually be invested in upping your dose.
its not worth the struggle you have to endure to be "high" all the time.
i thought it made me a happier, likable, more sociable person but in reality it just makes you numb of all those things.
you tend not to care what people think or say and are just self-centered.
you only realize these things when not under the influence.
i suggest trying to get some "clean time" and you will eventually regain happiness.
 
yea and dont forget, u might wanna try a drug thats less likely to kill you as this is prolly right at the top
 
Im in MMT. I Am currently on heroin to. And adderall. And valium. I feel like if you use methadone it feels better if you go a day without it on a weekend. For me it helped me better the next day. Im trying to get on subs but Im having the same prob. Opiate/oid love.
 
When you back hurts as much as mine, you pretty much gotta pick your poison on what opiate you want to take to feel better but get addicted to.
 
DouglasSirk said:
This would be what would keep tolerance down. Methadone could be employed a percentage of the time to reduce damage to lumgs.

Im 21.

Heroin seems to make life more enjoyable for me and in my eyes it doesnt necessaroly make me a better person but it makes me a cooler person.
it smoothes out the rough edges of my personality; i dont get nervous or anxious as quick, i remain calm and cool in the face of fear, i refrain from exploding into bouts of rage, i dont prematurely ejaculate in fact i become a sex god.

if i resolve this one problem it seems i will be faced with more personal problems.
Click to expand...

There are other ways to resolve your problems than turning to a potentially lethal, illegal drug that is infamous for ruining lives.

Everyone starts out thinking like you do only to eventually realize that is not they who own their addiction, it is their addiction that owns them. If you continue on this path and maintain this train of thought, your addiction will have you whipped and before you know it, your tolerance will have sky-rocketed through the roof. From that point on you will realize you're not getting high enough from smoking and you will turn to needles. You can talk about substituting it with methadone some of the time but anyone who has been down this road can tell you that this whole act of flirting with heroin can only go on for so long before turning into something very, very ugly. No one starts doing it thinking "it" will happen to them, and it seems like you are included in this school of thought.

The most important thing to remember here is that you are still very young and there are so many other avenues to explore when it comes to "taking the edge off, getting rid of rough edges, quelling anxiety and anger..." I could list them all here but I would personally recommend starting with a reputable doctor. I'm going to go ahead and assume (I know, I know...) that you have seen one before but try, try again... There are plenty of various ways to handle what you have described in addition to doctors and medicines but like I said, I don't think I need to list them here.

You are young. You have your entire life ahead of you. Don't squander it with even the SLIGHTEST chance of a retched addiction. Heroin is a beast. It's apparent that you have mostly dabbled with it as you still smoke versus using it though an IV but like I said before, anyone who has experience with heroin--real, solid experience--will tell you that this is a dark road and that "maintaing an addiction" is NOT a path you want to take as it never, ever ends up the way you plan. What does happen is you end up with a monkey on your back--hell, a fucking elephant--and its not easy to get rid of. Get out of this while you can.
 
I've never touched Heroin, but boy have I been tempted. I have however been addicted to some kind of opiate or another for the last year, with intermittent periods of use before this.

I love opiates and think the same thing you do, but the problem is tolerance, the tendency to focus on the drug to the exclusion of all else, zero sex drive, constipation..... of course none of this matters when you actually manage to get high. I've been considering just getting on subs legitimately, I don't know if it would solve the problem, I've never been on them for long periods of time but they do always satisfy my opiate cravings for the most part.

Fuck, if I could walk into the store and buy Heroin like I can buy Advil I think your plan just might work out fine, opiates can be a very functional drug when you don't overdo them at inappropriate times and always have them available.

Damn now I'm thinking about opiates again, but that's what I get for coming here, would have been thinking about them anyway though.... it's an endless cycle, maintenance is probably your best bet.
 
I dont get why heroin has such a bad rep... Have you ever done oxycodone or morphine? Loratabs or Vics? Its all the same thing, just one is more potent than the other. People will argue about how different they are, but don't for one second think that vics are safe and heroin isn't... Its the same thing in a sense. Sort of like how different strains of bud have different potency but they still give the same effect.

Anyways, I have been on and off heroin and other opiates for the past 5 years or so. I banged a few times but never really got into that... Usuaully just sniffing or bombing. H and other opiates are very addicting, but in the end its all about self control. I honestly don't look like a junkie, in fact I doubt that anyone really knows I use as much as I do. I finished my last bag of dope last night and today is pretty rough. I am feinding right now but things are fine.

Albeit, I have been on this roller coaster for years and years, I am somewhat tolerant to WDs themselves. I Usually use for about a week, then take a week off. It has been pretty much my routine for a while. However, if it wasn't for lack or money and how ridiculously expensive opiates are I would probably be high 24/7.
 
well every addict wishes their use can just be good, but eventually something bad will happen because of it. well that IMO but my life was good being an addict when i was smoking it. then smoking stopped getting me high so i shot up thats when everything went down fuckin hill. just dont shoot up thats my best advice.
 
I think most opiate addicts have thought what you have OP. It would be awesome if we all had that kind of self control and no risk of becoming tolerant...sadly this is not the case. The fact that you are thinking about this and have already attempted to get help via Methadone says to me you still can be helped.

Have you considered Suboxone? I was addicted to heroin and various opiates for 7 years. I've been on Suboxone 6 months and things are great. I think the biggest plus is not feeling sick, hustling for money, and just having extra money to do/buy things.

I know this guy in his 50's, he has been on Methadone for roughly 6 years and he still does heroin once a month, if that. He can limit himself, and throughout the week he doesn't take his full dose of Methadone, so on Monday he takes everything he saved, along with the full dose for that day. So he still gets high every Monday. He doesn't look like an addict, he has a house, money, car, etc. He seems to handle the lifestyle well like that. The Methadone gave him a chance to get his life under control, and he still has days where he can get fucked up, just need to have that self-control.
 
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