Mental Health Life long sleep issues

[kingkpin]

Not sure why I'm just now deciding to post this but this is something that's been going for most of my life now. Not even drug induced, it's just something that I've always had.

I know I have a family history of mental illness, my brother has some sort of ADHD and a lot of my family is very paranoid of odd things (possible schizophrenia?) but since I was a child I've ALWAYS had issues with my sleep. Not any ordinary sleep issues though.

I can recall multiple instances of waking up and hallucinating while fully conscious. The first one I can recall is when I was about 10, I woke and walked to my bathroom, as I was walking I looked down the hallway into my backroom and seen a blueish-transparent figured of a person sitting on the floor staring at me as I was about to enter the bathroom. I remember vividly that it was not a dream, I returned to my room, panicked and peed in a bottle which was found by my father the next day (which I was scolded for). Since then I had a few different occurrences; one of multiple skeletons surrounding my bed staring at me after I woke, another of a child running across my room, from one wall out the other. I got up to investigate but it was already gone. I noticed the more I blinked the quicker it went away. I also suffer from sleep paralysis unless I sleep in a very particular way. I need to have stimulus. visual and auditory. If I don't then I will experience hallucination, whether it be auditory or a visible hallucination. If I have no music or fan on at night then I can hear whispers or music in the back of my head, but it sounds as if it's coming from another room. I remember as a child being terrified because I could hear very vivid breathing from underneath my bed, even after I would momentarily stop breathing to see if it was real. This became even more apparent to me one night when I was in a different house and I went to the bathroom. I was taking a poo and I started to hear the cartoon Spongebob coming from my room. I could hear Patrick's voice saying some kind of joke and laughing and all the other character joining in. I didn't think much of it until I returned to my room to realize that everything was completely turned off including the TV. Since then I realized that there was something wrong with my brain when it came to sleeping, I already have an odd personality and I don't mind it but this is honestly a major inconvenience. Most of the time I never have it when I have stimulus OR another person in the same room as me, then it typically never happens except for a few off cases.

Keep in mind this happens whether my sleep schedule is on track or not, it just fucking happens and it's affecting my work at times and makes it hard to sleep comfortably when I have constant anxiety that something might happen (also exploding head syndrome, I get that a lot too). It's hard to talk to anyone about whether it be my doctor, therapist, or family because they'll all think I'm crazy. My mom even thought I was possessed and took away all of my rock CD's and posters as a child and forced me to attend church more often (I'm not religious at all).

I'm not sure what the point in posting this was, I was just wondering if anyone had anything similar or any explanation as to why this happens to me so often.

 

[Transcendence]

Tried clonidine? It's non-addictive or abusable, so doctors often won't hesitate to prescribe it as a first line treatment rather than something like benzos or Z-drugs. I take it for sleep occasionally and it's more effective than any sleep medication I've ever tried.

 

[Stevestevens]

Old hag syndrome. I am literally living your life. Lol I'm trying lots of things, but nothing works for long besides seroquel and if you've ever been on it you know the fight to regain consciousness is. I've had several experiences out of body and conscious as well with the visitors. I think it's a halfway point and mine are horrific at best. My wife is constantly trying to wake me because somehow I've figured out how to wimper during the bouts. I'll take any advice. I'm a long time user, have had many diagnosis's, and have swim commando patches. Yet when it come to simple sleep, I am lost. I tried the sleep study and their solution was Benzo's. Don't feel bad. You are not the Lone Ranger nor are you crazy. I had one on Fri night where demons were ripping my calf muscle off and one biting my wrists. They are kinda transparent and blackish, but it feels so real it's crazy town! I can tell you this from dealing with it for 37 years, since I was 8 (that psych visit in 1978 is a book in itself), you have to fight back. Start realizing your in it and fight yourself to wake up. It's taken forever, but I can usually wake myself up. I wonder if this is the whole reason for my own sleeplessness. The fear of the "monsters" that crawl in my head, or the fact I'm able to wake myself from a deeeeeeeep sleep? I still have no idea. Good luck and try to take it easy on yourself. I know it's a burdon, but it's yours so you'll have to live with it. I don't think it goes away. It gets better for years at a time, but comes back.

 

[kingkpin]

I am prescribed xanax but it still doesn't help me sleep easy, whether Im on it or not I get it all the time. Does anyone think ambien would possibly help?

 

[herbavore]

Ambien was horrible for me and I have had some of the same issues you have with sleepwalking etc. I have only taken it twice and both times I was not only not asleep but was actively moving around with zero conscious awareness. Be very careful. Preferably have someone keep an eye on you as many people do things on Ambien that they have no real-time awareness of.

 

[T. Calderone]

Kingkpin, you need to tell your doctor about these night time disturbances, especially if it's affecting your work now. Don't worry about what they might think. They can't properly help you if you don't tell them everything that's going on. There are other meds that can help lesson hallucinations and it may take some adjustments but may be worth a try. Just don't give up!

 

[jammin83]

If you already sleep walk, ambien is a terrible idea IMO. I've known people that would get up and drive around in their cars and others that would do crazy stuff they don't remember! I know, scary stuff.

 

[Chatative]

I'm sorry you are having strange experiences surround your sleep. I wasn't quite sure if you actually sleep well on the whole though? Do you suffer from any insomnia, whether having trouble getting to sleep, waking repeatedly or waking very early? That could certainly have some bearing on these experiences although I do notice you said these problems happen regardless of whether your sleeping schedule is on track or not.

One thing that can be quite common is hypnagogic hallucinations. These are hallucinations one can experience usually occuring just as you are starting to fall asleep or are in the process of waking up. If you aren't suffering from hallucinations at any other time then this would seem the likely cause & is quite normal really. I'm interested to hear you also have suffered bouts of sleep paralysis. Usually this is brought on by trouble sleeping, or at least was in my experience. When I was a teenager I had problems with insomnia, often taking hours to fall asleep & I frequently suffered from sleep paralysis which was quite a disturbing experience.

 

[pentouch]

my friend had this thing,when he was sleep paralysed he would open eyes in the middle of the night,and everythning seemd normal and real, he saw a door open by it self,he was lying in bed with gf,and she just stood up ,and bbegan slowly stabbing him..he couldnt do shit,even wake up,he only realised this in the morning...i dont know why but he saw only scary and bad stuff..meditation and setting your self in positive mood helped him