Lies all along.

[-Kitten]

My partner and I have had many issues. My family hates him his family hates mine. He has major sex issues he can't cum and barely can stay hard anymore. Cheating, I lost three babies and so much more. When he proposed to me I thought it would get better but it never did. Now I have been engaged since July and all it did was get worse... As some of you may know he recently cheated and some other stuff in our couple life hasn't been going so great.
Though things were downhill we always manage to let it pass and I was niave to trust him maybe because of my age? ( I am 18 he is now 25 )
Two days ago I had told him... I don't consider him my fiancé... i consider him as my " its complicated" and we need to fix things now.
Since then he thought... " oh any lies i told her i should tell he truth now. "
In two days he managed to kill me emotionally and mentally.
I'm sensitive to certain subjects because I had a rough past... raped... and other stuff. He managed to say everything was my fault because of my past most of which I never had control of.
Really I just noticed our whole relationship was ONE big lie from the START to the END. I love him deeply and I want to fix things but I don't think it will happen. Everything I knew was a lie... I knew about 10 percent truth out of everything I knew about his past, present, and us.

I don't know how to cope or to give him another chance. I have to go soon like move out and have NO where to go but the streets, have no job for the moment, Family can't help me ( mum has cancer, sister is a severe drug addict, father... rather not talk about, and anyone else has stopped contact with me )
All I can think is about two things... Finding cocaine ( i was an addict and stopped for him ) or just suicide. What is the point to keep going if there is nowhere to go.
I gave up everything for a man I don't even know. It's funny I knew him since I was so young ( 12 ) And now (18) I realize he was a liar... all along my whole life... I have no friends ( seriously not one person calls or texts me for 3 months due to him isolating me ) No family ( due o him manipulating me ) no job ( he didnt want i work ) no school ( i have to wait a year due to him ) and worst of all i lost my child for the third time and she is one thing i would have had the strength for to move and do things the right way...
Really this is just venting. " I need to let it all out all type of thing "

 

[Johnny1]

#1: Get rid of him ASAP. I know you love him, but you are way better off without him than with him.

#2: Work on yourself. Get involved in things. Go to school. Join good community groups. Learn how to make friends. YOU CAN DO IT! Just learn the signs of someone taking advantage of you or using you as a doormat and cut that person off. Only get close to decent people.

#3: You are too young to think about marriage and kids. You need to get on your own feet, solid, before you get into a partnership with someone else, and that goes triple for kids.

Good luck.

 

[alasdairm]

^ indeed.

why on earth would you want to give somebody like this yet another chance? stop allowing yourself to be treated this way. you're better than this and you deserve better.

alasdair

 

[max_]

Hello Kitten, I don't think you're out of options. Not at all. You're only 18! OMG you are so young! And yet you have gone through some deep deep shit in your short life. Don't let it all go to waste just for one more idiot that you've come across. Suicide is not an option, I mean, you can always put that one off until you're truly fucked, and I mean truly fucked, and one stupid boyfriend/fiance/it'scomplicated/whatever certainly can't get you there. Not at your age. And coke is just another slower and more painful way to kill yourself, you know it, I know it. It doesn't even matter if you have quit for him, yourself or whomever, you stopped using and that's better for you than anybody else, don't let that go to waste either! Just man up one more time and find a way, you know that you can, you know it you're damn sure of it you just know it will be hard maybe harder than ever but still you know you can. So go ahead and do it. Get this one over too. You are totally able to do it.

PS I may sound like an old guy saying "at your age" or "you're so damn young", but I'm 20, and for very different reasons I'm kind of down to coke or suicide too, but I know I can I'm just too fucking afraid of doing the right thing, which will be the hardest way to go, but the only way to come out alive.

Strength

 

[Tude]

Dump his ass. You can't fix stupid. He's stupid for lying to you. Don't kill yourself over this or go back to drugs. This is a learning experience. Don't let it go to waste!

 

[Monkeybizness]

You need to seek counseling. Someone that can help and guide you in making better decision and choices in life, if you don't get YOURSELF together this pattern of an unstable crazy life will continue. Love yourself, respect yourself, be wise and you will run into the right people and no wrong will come your way. You think its bad now if u don't get your mind straight things will only get worse. With no parents, education, rough bad past , and addiction at young age your future is not bright at all but only YOU CAN FIX THAT