A
anon1234
Guest
--->SLR
I guess
OK well, I'm a guy, 27. I've never really noticed any serious conscious desire toward men.. I always had some curiosity I guess, but never acted on it. I always thought that was pretty normal.
My opinion for the most part has always been 'whatever, but im fine with girls'. Not that I've done alot with them. There have been 2, one was just a once off one night thing. I've also never been the kind of guy who notices women when I'm out/etc.. All my friends are like 'holy shit look at her" everytime an attractive girl walks past.
I occassionally considered my orientation at times, I certainly had an appreciation for certain types of men I find attractive - but always just thought its because I was being objective about it and not insecure like my friends. I've kissed boys, danced close with them, felt them up... That was a long time ago - But only when drunk and I always thought of it as a laugh between two sexually secure straight men at the cost of the insecure ones around us rather than an actual urge/desire. I didnt think about whether I liked it at the time really. Just was like it happened, it was funny. Actually I just remembered I did try to take things further once but it didn't happen. Maybe this whole time I've been mistaking that sillyness to actually be signals that someone is into boys.. I dunno.. straight people you do this? I guess now that I think about it I did have somewhat of a predisposition toward acting that way when I was drunk... Moreso than others. Maybe I was just uninhibited.
I guess I never really thought about the whole thing *properly*... I thought about things like having sex with a man and was actually like 'eww gross I couldnt do it' - but I realised recently that I was purposely visualising an old ugly man, and I'd feel the same way if I visualised an old ugly woman. Actually I think it was thinking about anal sex with a woman that made me realise that if it were the right guy, i'd enjoy it at least every bit as much. and now I think that was really the only thing holding me back. Loving a guy always seemed natural enough to me, it was just that strange visualisation of the sex bit that deterred me.
So I'm like.. OK self... you're.... Bisexual... ?
But since I started to think about sex with men I would be attracted to/enjoy, I've *only* been thinking/fantasising/checking out boys.
I'm starting to ask myself questions like "What if I just assumed I like girls because thats how I was raised/thats what all my friends like?" "Maybe theres a reason I've not had a girlfriend for 7+ years." "Which am I actually more attracted to" "Do I ever want to be with a woman again?".... I dont know if I do. I've always been verrrrry picky about the girls I'm attracted to. I dont mean in a 'only 10/10' kinda way.. I mean, the type of girl, to the point where I've turned down opportunities that alot of people wouldve said I was crazy to. I've dreamt about doing things with men plenty, at least as often as girls, but I figured that was pretty normal even for straight men... is it? The only girl I've dreamt about lately in a sexual way was a rather boyish lesbian. Wonder what that means.... actually I just realised, the way we were in the dream was exactly movement for movement like a scene of a gay couple from a particular tv show I remember... hurrrrr did not notice that before. wow.
Anyhow so.. that is happening from the looks of things. It doesn't reallly bother me... Not that Id be looking forward to telling family/friends/etc... Seems like it wouldve been a hell of a lot easier if Id figured this all out 10 years ago.
I'm not quite sure how to proceed from here.
I'm completely disconnected from any gay community where I live so I would not have a clue where to start. None of my friends are even remotely open in those regards. I 'know' some lesbians, but theyre not people i can just ring up and go hang out with, we roam in vaguely similar circles, that's about all.
I dont want to take a large step like saying I am one way / the other until I know for sure. But I need to come out with it somehow in order to find someone. Because I'm realising now I dont want to be alone, despite being so sure that I did for the past 7 or so years.
Anyone got any suggestions on how to proceed? past experience? thoughts?
I guess
OK well, I'm a guy, 27. I've never really noticed any serious conscious desire toward men.. I always had some curiosity I guess, but never acted on it. I always thought that was pretty normal.
My opinion for the most part has always been 'whatever, but im fine with girls'. Not that I've done alot with them. There have been 2, one was just a once off one night thing. I've also never been the kind of guy who notices women when I'm out/etc.. All my friends are like 'holy shit look at her" everytime an attractive girl walks past.
I occassionally considered my orientation at times, I certainly had an appreciation for certain types of men I find attractive - but always just thought its because I was being objective about it and not insecure like my friends. I've kissed boys, danced close with them, felt them up... That was a long time ago - But only when drunk and I always thought of it as a laugh between two sexually secure straight men at the cost of the insecure ones around us rather than an actual urge/desire. I didnt think about whether I liked it at the time really. Just was like it happened, it was funny. Actually I just remembered I did try to take things further once but it didn't happen. Maybe this whole time I've been mistaking that sillyness to actually be signals that someone is into boys.. I dunno.. straight people you do this? I guess now that I think about it I did have somewhat of a predisposition toward acting that way when I was drunk... Moreso than others. Maybe I was just uninhibited.
I guess I never really thought about the whole thing *properly*... I thought about things like having sex with a man and was actually like 'eww gross I couldnt do it' - but I realised recently that I was purposely visualising an old ugly man, and I'd feel the same way if I visualised an old ugly woman. Actually I think it was thinking about anal sex with a woman that made me realise that if it were the right guy, i'd enjoy it at least every bit as much. and now I think that was really the only thing holding me back. Loving a guy always seemed natural enough to me, it was just that strange visualisation of the sex bit that deterred me.
So I'm like.. OK self... you're.... Bisexual... ?
But since I started to think about sex with men I would be attracted to/enjoy, I've *only* been thinking/fantasising/checking out boys.
I'm starting to ask myself questions like "What if I just assumed I like girls because thats how I was raised/thats what all my friends like?" "Maybe theres a reason I've not had a girlfriend for 7+ years." "Which am I actually more attracted to" "Do I ever want to be with a woman again?".... I dont know if I do. I've always been verrrrry picky about the girls I'm attracted to. I dont mean in a 'only 10/10' kinda way.. I mean, the type of girl, to the point where I've turned down opportunities that alot of people wouldve said I was crazy to. I've dreamt about doing things with men plenty, at least as often as girls, but I figured that was pretty normal even for straight men... is it? The only girl I've dreamt about lately in a sexual way was a rather boyish lesbian. Wonder what that means.... actually I just realised, the way we were in the dream was exactly movement for movement like a scene of a gay couple from a particular tv show I remember... hurrrrr did not notice that before. wow.
Anyhow so.. that is happening from the looks of things. It doesn't reallly bother me... Not that Id be looking forward to telling family/friends/etc... Seems like it wouldve been a hell of a lot easier if Id figured this all out 10 years ago.
I'm not quite sure how to proceed from here.
I'm completely disconnected from any gay community where I live so I would not have a clue where to start. None of my friends are even remotely open in those regards. I 'know' some lesbians, but theyre not people i can just ring up and go hang out with, we roam in vaguely similar circles, that's about all.
I dont want to take a large step like saying I am one way / the other until I know for sure. But I need to come out with it somehow in order to find someone. Because I'm realising now I dont want to be alone, despite being so sure that I did for the past 7 or so years.
Anyone got any suggestions on how to proceed? past experience? thoughts?
