Mental Health Lack of Emotion - emotional numbness, what is wrong?

[oreocub]

The last year and half for me have been bluntly said, blue. While they have been rather eventful and life changing, I rarely feel accomplished. Drugs, keep me going through the worst of days. I drift through weeks of depression or anxiety filled days, with tremors and shaking during anxious days, and tiredness and lack of motivation on the bad weeks.

I'm not a heavy drug user and generally a light/moderate user, and venture away from ''harder'' drugs and rarely drink alcohol.

I've pushed away friends I shouldn't have pushed away, but at the same time other friends I value have pushed me away. I don't even feel upset about this.
Music and exercise are the few outputs I feel even a shred of emotion. Drugs just feel more ''physical,'' if that makes sense. The highs rarely feel say, emotional, maybe a tingly feeling every now and then accompanied with music.

I'm more just questioning why, am I not feeling anything?
I don't feel happy, sad, angry, anything really, I feel jealous sometimes but that's it. Is this ''depression,'' just numbness, or is there something wrong with me?

 

[MatthewMouse]

The last year and half for me have been bluntly said, blue. While they have been rather eventful and life changing, I rarely feel accomplished. Drugs, keep me going through the worst of days. I drift through weeks of depression or anxiety filled days, with tremors and shaking during anxious days, and tiredness and lack of motivation on the bad weeks.

I'm not a heavy drug user and generally a light/moderate user, and venture away from ''harder'' drugs and rarely drink alcohol.

I've pushed away friends I shouldn't have pushed away, but at the same time other friends I value have pushed me away. I don't even feel upset about this.
Music and exercise are the few outputs I feel even a shred of emotion. Drugs just feel more ''physical,'' if that makes sense. The highs rarely feel say, emotional, maybe a tingly feeling every now and then accompanied with music.

I'm more just questioning why, am I not feeling anything?
I don't feel happy, sad, angry, anything really, I feel jealous sometimes but that's it. Is this ''depression,'' just numbness, or is there something wrong with me?

Hi
As a person with multiple diagnoses (Bipolar, OCD, BPD, PTSD) I feel your pain. I am a male 30 something. Are you using opiates because they can mask your feelings. It also very well can be depression. I've been told that I show no emotions in my face but trust me I feel them something great. Has anyone ever mentioned Anti Social Personality Disorder to you? I heard people with that condition feel no emotions but I'm not too keen on that illness. I wish you the best and please don't be afraid to contact me. Maybe we can learn from each other. Best wishes

 

[oreocub]

Hi
As a person with multiple diagnoses (Bipolar, OCD, BPD, PTSD) I feel your pain. I am a male 30 something. Are you using opiates because they can mask your feelings. It also very well can be depression. I've been told that I show no emotions in my face but trust me I feel them something great. Has anyone ever mentioned Anti Social Personality Disorder to you? I heard people with that condition feel no emotions but I'm not too keen on that illness. I wish you the best and please don't be afraid to contact me. Maybe we can learn from each other. Best wishes

Almost never use opiates. I'm not anti-social, nor have I been diagnosed with it. I don't like playing with peoples emotions or manipulating them, hurting them or anything. But is it possible to be on the border of an anti-social diagnosis? I rarely feel empathy, save for a few highs. I'm a decently out going guy, and make friends easier than I can usually keep them, because I mess up at things.

If there is any drug that can be doing something, I would think it would be almost a half decade use of daily amphetamine use, prescibed Adderall and vyvanze. They act on dopamine receptors irc. Does this have something to do with it?

 

[Mjo95jr]

Hey oreocub,

No you are not alone in this feeling. While I don't use drugs I do have a lot of emotional holes. I am not as in touch with my emotions as a normal person should be. I do suffer from depression and possibly BPD, but I'm still working out that diagnosis with my therapist.

Don't feel like this is something to try to shame yourself from. It is part of you right now, something to work through. I was only diagnosis with depression about the same time as you. It takes time. And with time you will improve

 

[squidsareamaze]

Hey oreocub,

Seems to me like maybe you should talk to a professional. It's not a bad thing! Everyone has times when they get apathetic to stuff. Professionals can help you sort things out. And if need be, get you on the course to getting some medication to help you out.

 

[princessmelancholy]

Hello, that numb feeling is very common I think , I find its just another little 'flavour' of depression and anxiety .. there's a name for it "depersonalisation " .. I have suffered depression and anxiety for years and in my experience this feeling of complete detachment usually comes on after a period of constant stress, anxiety,worry,tears,distress . kind of like my nerves are frayed and exhausted so they just switch off and cease to feel ANY emotion good or bad .
Would be worth doing bit of research ..
good luck

 

[princessmelancholy]

To oreocub

 

[herbavore]

I always think it is useful to try to dive down into an uncomfortable emotional state like an open minded explorer, a scientist or an observer. Ask questions. Where is this coming from? What is this giving me? Is what it is giving me needed or detrimental or a bit of both? When is it worse and when is it better? Is there a trauma buried that is at the root of this? Is this masking something else?

Pose questions to yourself and write the answers out. Writing can often lead to surprising clarifications. Write the answer out and then come back in a couple of days and answer it with more depth, more awareness. I find that staying with an uncomfortable state in order to understand it rather than trying to escape it usually provides a better outcome