Today I was glad I had a benzo with me.
The night before I had several beers and 30mg oxycontin, and was pretty sloppy by the end of the night. Around 3am, I lapsed into an oxy slumber, where you're sleeping (but not really) until I had to wake up at 7:20am for a baseball tournament. Fast-forward to game 2, I`m playing left field, and I`m forced to make several running plays in a row. Between all the running, the intense heat, and my double layer of shirts, I started breathing pretty heavily. This led to me feeling a little faint, which led to terrible thoughts of me having a stroke or heart attack. Luckily the game ended, and I stumbled around the ball park, feeling faint and a bit dizzy, and that claustrophobic feeling of panic started to set in. Remembering that a last-minute epiphany prompted me to take a xanax with me in my wallet, I fumbled through my bag, found it (.25mg of while, football-shaped salvation) and popped it in my mouth. I walked up to the bar, ordered a beer and chased the bitter taste down. After about 20 minutes of walking around, trying to calm myself, I laid down on a picnic table and closed my eyes. 30 minutes later, I woke up and the world and my heartrate had settled back down. Crisis averted.
It made me realize when benzos should be taken, and that the risk of abusing them is their loss of functionality for moments when I really need them.