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Kicking

B

Bottleofsun

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 20, 2016
Messages
134
I'm out, not even oxy left. Kicking and not because I want to. I don't even have a bottle.
I feel like shit and it's barely started. Went thru alcohol withdrawal last week, only just stopped shaking.
I've always held off methadone, but I don't see me being able to live without some thing.
I hate life.
You know it's bad when your friend won't share cause it's not enough for two.
 
Hey Bottleofsun, first off, welcome to Bluelight!

I know how it is with the opiate withdrawals, but I believe you have the strength to make it though.
Have you ever tried Kratom? I've been taking that for my wds lately and it works wonders. It's part of my plan to quit opiates altogether.
I as well don't see myself being able to live without at least something, sobriety is really hard.
 
Thank you for replying. I'm out of my usual area, and it's methe land out here. I've no way to get well any time soon.

Kratom didn't work for me.

I need to get on methadone. I'm beyond miserable. I'm no stranger to cold turkey, I'm 40 now, an old woman. I've had enough of misery. Life is shit
 
Bottleofsun said:
Thank you for replying. I'm out of my usual area, and it's methe land out here. I've no way to get well any time soon.

Kratom didn't work for me.

I need to get on methadone. I'm beyond miserable. I'm no stranger to cold turkey, I'm 40 now, an old woman. I've had enough of misery. Life is shit
Click to expand...

How many times did you try kratom? Every strain is different and some work better on some than others. But sometimes kratom just isn't for some people. I do suggest testing out a few different strains and different amounts. 5-7 grams should generally be enough to get rid of most withdrawals, but everyone's different.
If you feel that methadone is your next best option, I'd say go for it, but do keep in mind that the withdrawals from methadone are long lasting and usually more intense than other opiates if you do plan on fully quitting eventually.

I wish you the best of luck in tapering off dope with whatever method you chooose :)
Stay Strong
Stay Safe

Cheers
~Verri
 
I wish I had some lyrica. I've been shooting 40mg a day. Oxy are evil, tolerance is a huge problem, worse than tar. I've got lope. I can do withdrawal, but can't live clean and sober.
Is there any high with methadone, or does it just get you well? I've stayed away from it, it seems like being handcuffed to the clinic. I know if I shoot dope on top, which I would, ill end up od'ing, like so many I've known.

I'm pathetic right now.
 
I have been on MMT and was on 90 mg a day.
There are pros and cons.
For me, there were just too many cons.
They tell you that methadone is like a marriage.
Coming off the stuff was pure hell.
Yes, you do get high off of it but then you just start feeling 'normal' again.
I personally would not recommend methadone, but everyone is different.
I just hated waking up at 6 am in the morning and stand in line to get dosed.
I felt trapped and I could not leave out of town anywhere unless the city had a clinic and accepted guest dosing.
 
If you have insurance and really feel the need to go on some sort of maintenance - I would suggest Suboxone.
I am currently coming off cold turkey IV heroin and it's pure hell. You're not alone. If you can just get thru the acute withdrawals,
you will start feeling better! You have to WANT to quit though or you will forever be stuck in the vicious cycle of addiction.
Much love to you, and I hope everything gets better. I am going thru some pretty bad withdrawals right now but I refuse to give up!
 
1/2 gram of tar and 40mg oxy a day, this is just going into day two, and I'm in hell. Physically, emotionally, torture.

I can't even get my boots on to get out there and score.

I don't want to get clean. I just don't want to go thru dry spells like this. I wish they'd prescribe h, and accept some people need opiates.
 
I know the feeling trust me.
I am detoxing off a 1 - 2 gram day IV heroin habit.
It's horrible. If you're really that bad of shape and just trying to get something to ease withdrawal until the time comes,
you can mega-dose on lope. I have heard people having great success with it taking away almost all withdrawal symptoms.
If anything you can try the ER approach and say you're in A LOT of pain. They may prescribe you something.
 
Even the hospital is an hour and a half away. Ill take more lope.

People won't even share when you are dying nowadays. Maybe I got my rose tinted glasses on.
 
It is smart to stay away from the methadone as it's just trading that monkey for a gorilla. I am going to assume that you have tried pot maybe that can fill your void or maybe that isn't your thing. Just trying to be helpful. Oh... Stay away from the ER unless you find yourself in absolute need. You know it will get better. Hang in there.
 
Pot is not my thing at all. It's legal here, but I don't get what I need from it.
I've seen too many methadone casualties, but if it's my only option for a long term solution. My habit wasn't as big as it has been, but I'm struggling even with the lope.
 
In your case I don't see methadone being a long term solution and my reasons are this #1 nothing lasts forever #2 your habbit from what you have said isn't that great. You can beat it 40 doesn't make you an old woman.
 
The love of my life is dying. We never married. I'm caring for him. He hates my habit. I'm caring 24/7
I feel old, I never have fun. My life is over. It's piss pots, walkers and hospitals.

I'm not too bad today, everything hurts and I wish I had a life. But the sweats and gastro aren't too bad. Just irritability, painful back, restless legs, tummy troubles...the usual.

Life is over. I love him, I'll care for him until the end, just got to accept my life is fucked up permanently.

I had that 2plus gram a day habit at one point, plus benzodiazepines and booze. I cut out the benzos and drinking. Reduced my habit by kicking, then started again, trying to chip.

Unfortunately I'm no chipper.

Life is over. Just got to get by caring for people until I'm not needed.
I wish I was the kind of person other people cared about, looked after, protected. Instead I'm the strong one who does everything. I was pretty once, nice, kind, relatively decent. I plAy great lead guitar, ( hah, saying so myself, but I have to have something, I was a person)write good songs, I was fun.

Now it's just all sad and over.
 
You're just going thru a hard time. This too shall pass.
Trust me, it will get better, just try to stay positive, I know it's hard.
Just don't give up.
 
I don't think I can live with some one on a huge amount of prescription, legal and needed opiates, while I'm not able to get out the house to supply my own habit, so I can care for him. It's torture. I had to pick up a his meds, and give them to him, knowing I can't touch them. He needs it to be out of pain. I at least need to be able to get out and cop. I'm in hell.
 
40 is young , the new 30 easy . Like many others i'm going through it too . Again . on my couch after watching the gop debate( bernie in his 70s trump in his 60s running for pres , you could pick up the guitar again and live a fun life at 40
, give me a break)i have the unable to sleep with the chills/sweats/ etc etc still going pretty strong , and 1am will be 96 hours , the beginning of day 5 since my last shot .
You're not alone . You need support and this is a good place for it . Theres plenty lurking this thread in the same exact boat as all of us trying to kick this shit .
I managed during my first day to go to an AA meeting and get some phone numbers . Guys have been giving me rides . been to 2 a day since even if most of them i was a sweating shivering mess with my head in my lap with my hood up . Theres absolutely no way i'd be able to do it without someone willing to help . If you don't have access to support like that (which i'd imagine you do , or could find a way) where theres methadone clinics theres meetings. i'll be up if you feel like you need to talk
 
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