Phil.McKeer
Bluelighter
I'm going to document this not only to keep a record of what I'm doing, but also for the benefit of anyone in my position. It will also help keep me accountable.
Background:
I used H (tar, smoked) for almost 2 years. Early 2016 I did a quick subutex taper and stayed on at 0.25mg/day for several months. I came off around November and had been abstinent from all opioids until early last month (February). I have a messed up lower back (herniated disc @ L5). The pain is part of who I am and I've come to terms with it, but sometimes it jumps from it's usual background 2/10 to a constant 5/10 with spikes up to 7/10. I don't know why this happens but it comes and goes. When it does come, it sucks. It interferes with every physical movement painfully.
I was stoked with the ACA because I got decent insurance at a price much lower than what I used to pay when I was younger and healthier. Imagine my disappointment when my doctor refused to treat my pain with actual pain meds and would only give me NSAIDs. Fuck you, DEA. The intransigence of Uncle Sam to craft effective drug policy has pushed me to the street. Even the subutex I used last year to kick had to be sourced from the black market and my detox had to be a private at-home one. Fucks sakes...the fact that a small supply of even 5mg hydrocodones or muscle relaxants would have kept me off the streets is what makes this such a tragic comedy.
Anyways, I've been using around 1/4g of low quality tar every day for the last month or so, with numerous skip days in between. I estimate I was ingesting around 20-50mg of diacetylmorphine/n-MAM per day based on the quality of the tar and the BA of inhalation.
For this mission, I have only a single suboxone strip (8mg/2mg), some gabapentin, cannabis (smoked & oral) and OTC meds. It is a light inventory, but I nevertheless feel pretty good about this.
Day 1:
I have waited 36 hours since my last dose of H. For the last 14 hours or so I've been staving off the gamut of w/d symptoms: runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing fits, goosebumps, hot/cold weirdness, akathisia, RLS, bone pain, etc. I've taken 300mg gabapentin three times for a total of 900mgs in the last 18 hours (one dose every 6 hours or so). I've also taken 100mg diphenhydramine twice for a total of 200mg in the last 18 hours. I have of course been smoking bowls the entire time and ingested about 100mg THC orally twice in the last 12 hours.
It's time to take the bupe. The manufacturer claims that strips must be taken whole and that the medication is not distributed evenly. I say that's bullshit. People should rarely stick a whole 8mg bupe under their tongue at once; the amount people are prescribed is ludicrous, and I can taste the fucking drugs very distinctly in even a tiny 0.5mg piece of strip. I firmly believe that 8mg bupe would make a horse nod for a whole day and night. Granted, if you've been using a large amount of H frequently for a long time, you may need even more than 8mg during induction (the first dose), but you can drop the size of the dose very quickly from there.
Anyways, I cut my strip in halves until I have one big 4mg square, a 2mg piece, a 1mg piece, and two small 0.5mg pieces. I rinse my mouth out with mouthwash and take a 0.5mg piece and wait 20 minutes. I take the other 0.5mg piece and wait a little longer, this time around 40 minutes. I am introducing the bupe slowly so it doesn't get into an altercation with any H that hasn't left the party yet. I notice that I feel a little better. I take a 1mg piece and go have dinner at my folks' place. I am not exhibiting any obvious signs of withdrawal except for what looks like a mild cold and slightly dilated pupils.
During dinner I notice that the runny nose has subsided which prompts me to check for any other w/d symptoms, finding none other than a mild general akathisia, slight pain in my legs and pronounced background bodily pains (like the back). All the other symptoms are gone.
This is where I'm at now, typing this up at 10pm back at home. It's been about 4 hours since I took the last dose of bupe and I am feeling pretty good about this, having taken 2mg total for induction. I feel like I might even get some sleep tonight. I'm listening to music and actually feeling it without having the experience blunted by an opioid. I am wary of being overenthusiastic, at the same time. There is always a chance I don't sleep at all tonight and the symptoms haven't fully hit yet, but I'd be ok with that if it turns out to be the case.
By the way, my back is feeling a lot better. I'm really dumbfounded on how it can jump around from such low pain levels to such high ones and then go back down so abruptly, especially not being able to pinpoint a specific event having caused it, but hey, why complain, amirite? By the way, I am 32/m, 5'8" and 165lbs; in pretty good physical condition.
I'll update this later. Thanks for reading.
Background:
I used H (tar, smoked) for almost 2 years. Early 2016 I did a quick subutex taper and stayed on at 0.25mg/day for several months. I came off around November and had been abstinent from all opioids until early last month (February). I have a messed up lower back (herniated disc @ L5). The pain is part of who I am and I've come to terms with it, but sometimes it jumps from it's usual background 2/10 to a constant 5/10 with spikes up to 7/10. I don't know why this happens but it comes and goes. When it does come, it sucks. It interferes with every physical movement painfully.
I was stoked with the ACA because I got decent insurance at a price much lower than what I used to pay when I was younger and healthier. Imagine my disappointment when my doctor refused to treat my pain with actual pain meds and would only give me NSAIDs. Fuck you, DEA. The intransigence of Uncle Sam to craft effective drug policy has pushed me to the street. Even the subutex I used last year to kick had to be sourced from the black market and my detox had to be a private at-home one. Fucks sakes...the fact that a small supply of even 5mg hydrocodones or muscle relaxants would have kept me off the streets is what makes this such a tragic comedy.
Anyways, I've been using around 1/4g of low quality tar every day for the last month or so, with numerous skip days in between. I estimate I was ingesting around 20-50mg of diacetylmorphine/n-MAM per day based on the quality of the tar and the BA of inhalation.
For this mission, I have only a single suboxone strip (8mg/2mg), some gabapentin, cannabis (smoked & oral) and OTC meds. It is a light inventory, but I nevertheless feel pretty good about this.
Day 1:
I have waited 36 hours since my last dose of H. For the last 14 hours or so I've been staving off the gamut of w/d symptoms: runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing fits, goosebumps, hot/cold weirdness, akathisia, RLS, bone pain, etc. I've taken 300mg gabapentin three times for a total of 900mgs in the last 18 hours (one dose every 6 hours or so). I've also taken 100mg diphenhydramine twice for a total of 200mg in the last 18 hours. I have of course been smoking bowls the entire time and ingested about 100mg THC orally twice in the last 12 hours.
It's time to take the bupe. The manufacturer claims that strips must be taken whole and that the medication is not distributed evenly. I say that's bullshit. People should rarely stick a whole 8mg bupe under their tongue at once; the amount people are prescribed is ludicrous, and I can taste the fucking drugs very distinctly in even a tiny 0.5mg piece of strip. I firmly believe that 8mg bupe would make a horse nod for a whole day and night. Granted, if you've been using a large amount of H frequently for a long time, you may need even more than 8mg during induction (the first dose), but you can drop the size of the dose very quickly from there.
Anyways, I cut my strip in halves until I have one big 4mg square, a 2mg piece, a 1mg piece, and two small 0.5mg pieces. I rinse my mouth out with mouthwash and take a 0.5mg piece and wait 20 minutes. I take the other 0.5mg piece and wait a little longer, this time around 40 minutes. I am introducing the bupe slowly so it doesn't get into an altercation with any H that hasn't left the party yet. I notice that I feel a little better. I take a 1mg piece and go have dinner at my folks' place. I am not exhibiting any obvious signs of withdrawal except for what looks like a mild cold and slightly dilated pupils.
During dinner I notice that the runny nose has subsided which prompts me to check for any other w/d symptoms, finding none other than a mild general akathisia, slight pain in my legs and pronounced background bodily pains (like the back). All the other symptoms are gone.
This is where I'm at now, typing this up at 10pm back at home. It's been about 4 hours since I took the last dose of bupe and I am feeling pretty good about this, having taken 2mg total for induction. I feel like I might even get some sleep tonight. I'm listening to music and actually feeling it without having the experience blunted by an opioid. I am wary of being overenthusiastic, at the same time. There is always a chance I don't sleep at all tonight and the symptoms haven't fully hit yet, but I'd be ok with that if it turns out to be the case.
By the way, my back is feeling a lot better. I'm really dumbfounded on how it can jump around from such low pain levels to such high ones and then go back down so abruptly, especially not being able to pinpoint a specific event having caused it, but hey, why complain, amirite? By the way, I am 32/m, 5'8" and 165lbs; in pretty good physical condition.
I'll update this later. Thanks for reading.
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