I went to a wedding in Vegas last night and...
After the wedding was over a friend of mine asked me to go to the store with him. He informed my GF that we'd be back in like 10 to 15 minutes tops. I figured he just wanted someone along for the ride.
I never asked what kind of store we were going to so when we pulled up at Weed Alternatives I was kind of thrown for a loop. My buddy is in the Army so I am pretty sure he gets drug tested all the time. As soon as I go to ask the obvious question he answered it with, "This isn't pot. It's even better and it doesn't show up on a drug screening."
Intrigued I play along and we enter the store. I remember that I need some screens for a sneak-a-toke I have so I ask the guy behind the counter if he has any. He laughs. Asks me if I know where I am and tells me of course they do, they'd be bad business people if they didn't. My buddy is chatting it up with the stores owner like they are long lost brothers or something.
The guy behind the counter asks me if I want metal or brass and I don't answer right away because I didn't realize there was a difference or even a choice. He tosses me a bag of each and I hold on to them. My buddy asks the owner if he can have a blueberry and the owner hands him a flavored paper.
He then asks if he can get some of something I forget the name of, but do remember the owner saying it had something-18 in it. I am sure he told me all about it and I am sure he gave me a ton of info on its effects, proper dosage, etc... I can't remember any of it except that we had some kind of conversation and I am sure I was there for at least 20 to 30 minutes for it. I think.
My bud rolls up some of the product into the paper and proceeds to light it. I am kind of shocked that he is lighting it inside the store and again the owner tells me it is completely legal. Don't worry about it. I take a drag and notice the smell is nothing like pot, nor the taste. I go to pass it to the owner and he gives it back to my bud who takes a long drag and then the entire store, customers and employees, call out to him, "Hold it in!" Not expecting it I kind of tense up and my buddy busts up laughing.
My turn again and this time when I take my toke the entire place tells me to hold it in. I do and after about 20 seconds I begin to feel my pulse on my forehead so I exhale. Steve, the owner, tells me to take one more and then chill out for a while. I do.
Head change in place my buddy and I head back to the car to drive to the hotel. I can tell I am in a different place and I am wondering if he is just more tolerant since I know I couldn't drive in the state of mind I was in. My face tingled. My pulse raced a bit, however, I was already kinda drunk when I got there so I think the alcohol numbed the adverse reactions others have written about.
Once inside the car with seatbelts on we talk about how trippy we are feeling. After about 2 minutes of that we both realize we are still at the head shop with the engine running and the lights on. We bust up laughing and he puts the car in gear. As we back up and the store reseeds away from me I feel like I am on a backwards running roller coaster. When we turn to get back to the street I feel like we are moving like you would move in Counter Strike or some other first person shooter game while rounding a corner. Turning on two axises. Pivoting in place like a compass while moving sideways. This induces a slight nauseousness.
I figure it must be effecting my friend as he has slowed his driving style to that of a tourist on a Sunday drive. Usually he races around lead footed.
After heading down the road for a bit I realize we are not driving in the right direction. I let him know. He busts up laughing and tells me he was driving home (he lives in Vegas). We turn around and head back the right way. After some time we are at Circus Circus. That would have been awesome except that we are supposed to be headed to the Orleans. While the wedding was at CC, the reception dinner and festivities are at the Orleans.
We head back and we keep missing turns because we can't remember what we were doing only seconds ago. I tell him to pull into a mini-mall with a convenience store. He tells me I am a bitch and says he knows where he is going. I tell him slow down and grab the wheel. He slows down not knowing what I am doing and not wanting to crash at 35 miles an hour in case I do something really stupid.
I crank the wheel and we go into the last driveway to the store. I tell him to park and get out real cool like and walk into the store. He starts to give me some more shit and I grab his arm and tell him I am serious and he should do what I tell him to do.
As we are heading into the store a cop pulls up and slowly drives by us. Both my buddy and I have short haircuts and we salute the cop (I am not in the Army by the way), the cop salutes back and heads off towards the CHECK-POINT!
WTF?
My buddy was going to drive us right into it!
For about 2 minutes adrenaline has both of us sober enough to buy some water, some jerky and a pack of smokes. The guy behind the counter keeps eyeballing us and our high begins to return. By the time I reach the door I am on auto-pilot.
We head out the way we came and soon forget our street again. After about 2 hours of driving we pull into the Orleans parking lot. We are both surprised to be there because we can't remember how we got there. We park. A security guard is walking by and asks us if anything is wrong. We state that there isn't anything wrong as walk away.
The entrance we are using is in the back of the hotel and there is pretty much no foot traffic. My buddy whips out his dick and proceeds to piss in the corner of the entrance. I freak out and go into the hotel looking for security to make sure he isn't going to get pounced on and to distance myself in case he does.
By now my eyes are fucking with me. I keep seeing strange shit. Closer to acid than a pot trip. In fact, pot doesn't make me hallucinate in the least bit. This stuff is making me trip out. I keep thinking people are going to bump into me so I start walking around like Monk, being careful not to touch others. My buddy catches up.
We never ate our jerky and we are both quite hungry. We go to a deli type of place and get in line. After about 2 minutes we don't know why we are there. Someone in line informs us it just might be to get a sandwich. We freak out knowing others know we are fucked up so we dart out of there and into an elevator.
The car is already occupied by some other people and someone asks us which floor. We can't fathom what that means. The buttons are doing a light display akin to a Pink Floyd light show. I loudly point it out and my buddy doesn't see it. Neither does anyone else. The elevator starts moving and I claw the wall. Everyone is wondering WTF and someone suggests someone else should call security. I tell them I am good. I just am afraid of heights.
When everyone gets out of the elevator we don't know what to do. We just sit there staring at the buttons until the doors close and it lurches downward. We both start having thoughts of we should have gotten out because we have no idea where we are going and who will come in next.
It stops on the bottom floor and we both brace ourselves for anything that might come in and attack us. Some very surprised people are looking at us from outside and move to the side. We jump out running and a security guard tells us not to run so we walk and bust up laughing.
We mindlessly wander the hotel for about an hour. First we want a beer but when its out turn to order we can't tell the bartender what we want. He gets annoyed. I sit at a slot machine and pretend to play it right as a waitress is walking by. She asks if we want anything and I say a beer. What kind? Um... Whatever. Just need it to be cold and hand her a $5. She leaves.
My buddy asks if I am going to play the slot and I can't for the life of me remember how to. I feed it a dollar and just look at the buttons like I paid for a light show, not a slot machine. He hits a button and the bells go off. It freaks me out and I jump off of my stool and hit the lady behind me. She freaks out on me and we bail... without our beers.
Deli time again. This time the line only has 2 people in it. When we get to the front the guy behind the counter asks us if we are going to stay this time. Shit, he knows we are fucked up. Not good. We desperately fight the urge to bail. When we don't the guy asks what we want. Sandwiches. What kind? Bread, meat, cheese. What kind of bread. Dude, please. Just make us two sandwiches anybody in America wouldn't turn down! He does and I have no idea what he put in them and I don't remember if we ate them either.
I do remember pulling out my money to pay. Out pops the screens and Weed Alternatives card. Oops, wrong pocket. In the other pocket is the cash and in the middle of it, the remainder of our joint. The guy behind the counter mutters it figures and tells us that we can go to jail for that. I tell him what I remember from Steve's schpeal about what we smoked. The guy gets annoyed and we leave.
Time shifted and the next thing I know we are on another elevator. My buddies phone goes off. Its his GF and she is pissed. Wants to know where we've been for the past three hours. He mumbles something and hands up. We stop on a floor and he walks out. I am not sure if I am supposed to follow him so I stay inside the elevator. Doors close and I go down. At the bottom some people get in and ask me which floor I am looking for. I tell them whatever they want is good. Then they realize I was already on the elevator so I should be exiting it. They hit the open doors button and pop back out like they are afraid of me. I hit several buttons and the doors close. After stopping on several floors I remember I am on the 19th.
There is no 19th button on the panel. I get paranoid. Maybe the part of the hotel blasted off and left me here? Shit! I have my first full blown panic attack. Now I am seriously afraid of going down. In my mind the people on the bottom floor are alien to me and they are becoming suspicious of my ways...
I hit a button and exit on whatever floor it is.. Lucky for my dry mouth I pop right into the room with the ice machine and coke machines. After about 10 minutes of studying the coke machine I figure out how to get one out of it. I am happy for about 5 seconds and then I forget what I am doing and where I am...
I hear the elevator make a ding sound. Someone is coming! I am sure the aliens have dropped the act and are no longer using their cloaking devices so I duck behind the ice machine. They walk past. I don't even want to look as they do because I am sure their hideous bodies will be too much for me to handle.
Like a green beret in action I slip over to the elevator. I wonder what in the fuck I am going to do... I ponder using the stairs... No... What if some of their youth aliens are hanging out there? Surely they'd fuck with me. I hit the down button and prepare for the worst.
By the time I hit the bottom I had convinced myself that not everyone was an alien so surely they'd have the cloaking device turned on in the casino floor. But by the time I get to the bottom I have forgotten that I am having a panic attack or that aliens are in the hotel or that the roof flew away without me.
The doors open. A smiling family waits for me to exit. I do making sure not to turn my back towards them so they can't pull me in with them all the while trying to act non-chelant. The girl is probably thinking I have what ever Monk has...
I see another bank of elevators across the hall and remember that my floor is only accessible by them. A feeling of euphoria sweeps over me. I feel like I just got discharged from the Infantry as WWII has ended. I made it out alive! Then I get a sick feeling in my gut. Where is my buddy. Is he OK? I call him which is strange because I can't figure out how to use an elevator but I can use my cell phone like its a part of my body.
He answers and I can hear his old lady giving him shit in the background. I hangup because I cannot process what he is saying. Cool, he is OK... kind of.
Oh shit! What about my GF? I notice I have 2 missed calls from (3) hours ago. WTF? 3 hours? I feel like I just left... or never left.. or that it is yesterday or tomorrow. I bust up laughing, look up and there is a security guard. He asks if he can help me and I tell him I need to get to 19 but the elevator stopped at 8. He points me to the right one. sweeeeuuuuwwww!
Just before the doors close a mom and her 8 year old'ish daughter get in. The daughter is wearing a one piece bathing suit and mom is one of those types that always fears the worst (without a hit of JWH-18).
She pulls he daughter close and hits 19. She asks me what number I need and I say something like, oh, that one will do fine. She grips her daughters hand tighter. I smile reassuringly, but in retrospect it was right out of the Hannibal Lecter handbook for creeping people out.
We exit the hotel and my room is the farthest away. Hers is about 3 before that. The hallway is a good 100 yards long. Imagine you and your daughter walking down a hallway with a dude behind you that "just isn't right" and his flipflops are flopping for 10 yards.. 25.. 45... 50!.. 70 where is this guys room? 80, surely he is coming for us! 90!!! WTF? She grabs her daughter and flattens against the wall hoping I will keep walking. I stop and ask her if she is OK. She yells for me to leave her alone and I tell her my room number and start walking towards it. As I reach it I hear her door slam behind me.
I open my door. There is a beer pong table set up in my room. My GF and a friend of ours are standing on the other side of it. The cups are filled. They toss me a ball and ask me where the other players are at. I tell them I don't know and that I will be playing solo. They say ok and we face off.
Time shifts and I am drinking a cup of beer. I look across the table and there are only 2 cups.... I have no recollection of sinking the other 4 (we are playing 6 cups because that is all there were I guess). I finish my beer like a good boy and try to act like time didn't just shift.
We re-rack. I win the face off and sink two cups back to back and get my balls back. I throw one and it makes it. I throw the other and it makes it too... Time shifts slightly and my GF is picking the balls up off of the floor about 18 feet away. The cups are still there. I realize I hallucinated having made these last two shots and think it better not to bring it up.
They ask me where I have been? I tell them I dunno. Lots of places. Lots of elevators... They figure I got too drunk to remember which elevator to take to the higher levels. I think it better if I don't inform them of the alien menace present in the hotel at this time. Who knows... maybe they were assimilated?
I lose again by two cups. Suddenly I feel woozy... Like hammered! I lean on the wall and the next thing I know I am in bed. People are there talking about me and I wake up. I can't tell what they are saying. I hear the words plain as day, but they might as well be speaking another language. Someone notices me and my GF comes over to kiss me. She asks if I am alright. I can't answer her... I know what she is saying only by feeling. Like I know she is soothing me but not what she is specifically saying. I also don't know how to answer her back. I think of the show LOST and how the Korean chick loses her ability to talk so she writes everything down. I pull out my phone and text her that I am OK. She looks alarmed that I didn't just say it. I head to the restroom.
While in there I completely forget why I am there. I think I know I peed. Maybe flushed the toilet, but now I am looking at the closet trying to figure out what to wear... only all of my sleeping stuff is in the room in drawers. I should wash my hands. While I am washing them I forget again. I resoap them and do it again... while drying I forget that I already peed and try to go again. I remember I already did and wash my hands. Someone knocks and asks if I am OK. I say yeah.. sweet, I got my voice back and I understood them.
I exit the restroom and the only one in my room is my GF and she is sleeping. The lights are off... WTF? Either I was in the restroom for an hour or more, or those people were never here? Did I even play beer pong? Did I actually go to the store? WTF?
I contemplate waking my GF up... then decide to let her sleep. I have some trippy dreams and they are loaded with color, lights and sound. motion... I wake up hours later, but feel like I went to sleep only minutes before.
My GF is telling me it is time to check out. I panic. I can't fathom what that means... is she saying we need to leave the hotel because security is coming? Are the aliens coming? is the ship blasting off, put your tray tables in an upright position and put your seatbelt on? By check out did she mean she is going to kill me? punch my card? When she walks over to sit next to me I scramble across the bed and b-line it into the bathroom.
The Counter Strike motion perception is back. I grab the handicap rails to balance myself and plop down on the toilet. I decide maybe I should wash my face. After several attempts at getting the water temp right I give up. I try to calm myself down. I go back to the toilet and pee, come back to the basin and wash up and notice the water is juuuuuuuussssst riiiiiiiggghhht. Time to wash my face! Now I am elated! I cannot believe my good fortune! I need to tell me GF!
I open the door and all of our shit is packed and by the door. Holy shit, she is fast!
Low level bombing run she asks... Huh? You were in there for almost an hour. I figured you were doing your business... wtf? an hour? I check the clock. She is correct. It felt like 4 minutes!
I took too much of some new drug! She looks at me knowingly. I blurted it out because I knew that if I didn't, I'd talk myself out of it. She says it seems like that is so and motions for me to man the suitcase. Time to head out.
Once in the car with the guy that played beer pong I tell them about my trip. They are all laughing... Now I can laugh too... But every once in a while his GF morphs slightly into an alien'ish thing in the front seat and I get scared for about 10 seconds and then it wares off. By the time we get back to L.A. I am pretty much back to normal.
Next time I plan to mix about this much (@@) pot with this much () JWH-18 and see if that doesn't make things a little less trippy, but a little more out of body than pot goes...
After the wedding was over a friend of mine asked me to go to the store with him. He informed my GF that we'd be back in like 10 to 15 minutes tops. I figured he just wanted someone along for the ride.
I never asked what kind of store we were going to so when we pulled up at Weed Alternatives I was kind of thrown for a loop. My buddy is in the Army so I am pretty sure he gets drug tested all the time. As soon as I go to ask the obvious question he answered it with, "This isn't pot. It's even better and it doesn't show up on a drug screening."
Intrigued I play along and we enter the store. I remember that I need some screens for a sneak-a-toke I have so I ask the guy behind the counter if he has any. He laughs. Asks me if I know where I am and tells me of course they do, they'd be bad business people if they didn't. My buddy is chatting it up with the stores owner like they are long lost brothers or something.
The guy behind the counter asks me if I want metal or brass and I don't answer right away because I didn't realize there was a difference or even a choice. He tosses me a bag of each and I hold on to them. My buddy asks the owner if he can have a blueberry and the owner hands him a flavored paper.
He then asks if he can get some of something I forget the name of, but do remember the owner saying it had something-18 in it. I am sure he told me all about it and I am sure he gave me a ton of info on its effects, proper dosage, etc... I can't remember any of it except that we had some kind of conversation and I am sure I was there for at least 20 to 30 minutes for it. I think.
My bud rolls up some of the product into the paper and proceeds to light it. I am kind of shocked that he is lighting it inside the store and again the owner tells me it is completely legal. Don't worry about it. I take a drag and notice the smell is nothing like pot, nor the taste. I go to pass it to the owner and he gives it back to my bud who takes a long drag and then the entire store, customers and employees, call out to him, "Hold it in!" Not expecting it I kind of tense up and my buddy busts up laughing.
My turn again and this time when I take my toke the entire place tells me to hold it in. I do and after about 20 seconds I begin to feel my pulse on my forehead so I exhale. Steve, the owner, tells me to take one more and then chill out for a while. I do.
Head change in place my buddy and I head back to the car to drive to the hotel. I can tell I am in a different place and I am wondering if he is just more tolerant since I know I couldn't drive in the state of mind I was in. My face tingled. My pulse raced a bit, however, I was already kinda drunk when I got there so I think the alcohol numbed the adverse reactions others have written about.
Once inside the car with seatbelts on we talk about how trippy we are feeling. After about 2 minutes of that we both realize we are still at the head shop with the engine running and the lights on. We bust up laughing and he puts the car in gear. As we back up and the store reseeds away from me I feel like I am on a backwards running roller coaster. When we turn to get back to the street I feel like we are moving like you would move in Counter Strike or some other first person shooter game while rounding a corner. Turning on two axises. Pivoting in place like a compass while moving sideways. This induces a slight nauseousness.
I figure it must be effecting my friend as he has slowed his driving style to that of a tourist on a Sunday drive. Usually he races around lead footed.
After heading down the road for a bit I realize we are not driving in the right direction. I let him know. He busts up laughing and tells me he was driving home (he lives in Vegas). We turn around and head back the right way. After some time we are at Circus Circus. That would have been awesome except that we are supposed to be headed to the Orleans. While the wedding was at CC, the reception dinner and festivities are at the Orleans.
We head back and we keep missing turns because we can't remember what we were doing only seconds ago. I tell him to pull into a mini-mall with a convenience store. He tells me I am a bitch and says he knows where he is going. I tell him slow down and grab the wheel. He slows down not knowing what I am doing and not wanting to crash at 35 miles an hour in case I do something really stupid.
I crank the wheel and we go into the last driveway to the store. I tell him to park and get out real cool like and walk into the store. He starts to give me some more shit and I grab his arm and tell him I am serious and he should do what I tell him to do.
As we are heading into the store a cop pulls up and slowly drives by us. Both my buddy and I have short haircuts and we salute the cop (I am not in the Army by the way), the cop salutes back and heads off towards the CHECK-POINT!
WTF?
My buddy was going to drive us right into it!
For about 2 minutes adrenaline has both of us sober enough to buy some water, some jerky and a pack of smokes. The guy behind the counter keeps eyeballing us and our high begins to return. By the time I reach the door I am on auto-pilot.
We head out the way we came and soon forget our street again. After about 2 hours of driving we pull into the Orleans parking lot. We are both surprised to be there because we can't remember how we got there. We park. A security guard is walking by and asks us if anything is wrong. We state that there isn't anything wrong as walk away.
The entrance we are using is in the back of the hotel and there is pretty much no foot traffic. My buddy whips out his dick and proceeds to piss in the corner of the entrance. I freak out and go into the hotel looking for security to make sure he isn't going to get pounced on and to distance myself in case he does.
By now my eyes are fucking with me. I keep seeing strange shit. Closer to acid than a pot trip. In fact, pot doesn't make me hallucinate in the least bit. This stuff is making me trip out. I keep thinking people are going to bump into me so I start walking around like Monk, being careful not to touch others. My buddy catches up.
We never ate our jerky and we are both quite hungry. We go to a deli type of place and get in line. After about 2 minutes we don't know why we are there. Someone in line informs us it just might be to get a sandwich. We freak out knowing others know we are fucked up so we dart out of there and into an elevator.
The car is already occupied by some other people and someone asks us which floor. We can't fathom what that means. The buttons are doing a light display akin to a Pink Floyd light show. I loudly point it out and my buddy doesn't see it. Neither does anyone else. The elevator starts moving and I claw the wall. Everyone is wondering WTF and someone suggests someone else should call security. I tell them I am good. I just am afraid of heights.
When everyone gets out of the elevator we don't know what to do. We just sit there staring at the buttons until the doors close and it lurches downward. We both start having thoughts of we should have gotten out because we have no idea where we are going and who will come in next.
It stops on the bottom floor and we both brace ourselves for anything that might come in and attack us. Some very surprised people are looking at us from outside and move to the side. We jump out running and a security guard tells us not to run so we walk and bust up laughing.
We mindlessly wander the hotel for about an hour. First we want a beer but when its out turn to order we can't tell the bartender what we want. He gets annoyed. I sit at a slot machine and pretend to play it right as a waitress is walking by. She asks if we want anything and I say a beer. What kind? Um... Whatever. Just need it to be cold and hand her a $5. She leaves.
My buddy asks if I am going to play the slot and I can't for the life of me remember how to. I feed it a dollar and just look at the buttons like I paid for a light show, not a slot machine. He hits a button and the bells go off. It freaks me out and I jump off of my stool and hit the lady behind me. She freaks out on me and we bail... without our beers.
Deli time again. This time the line only has 2 people in it. When we get to the front the guy behind the counter asks us if we are going to stay this time. Shit, he knows we are fucked up. Not good. We desperately fight the urge to bail. When we don't the guy asks what we want. Sandwiches. What kind? Bread, meat, cheese. What kind of bread. Dude, please. Just make us two sandwiches anybody in America wouldn't turn down! He does and I have no idea what he put in them and I don't remember if we ate them either.
I do remember pulling out my money to pay. Out pops the screens and Weed Alternatives card. Oops, wrong pocket. In the other pocket is the cash and in the middle of it, the remainder of our joint. The guy behind the counter mutters it figures and tells us that we can go to jail for that. I tell him what I remember from Steve's schpeal about what we smoked. The guy gets annoyed and we leave.
Time shifted and the next thing I know we are on another elevator. My buddies phone goes off. Its his GF and she is pissed. Wants to know where we've been for the past three hours. He mumbles something and hands up. We stop on a floor and he walks out. I am not sure if I am supposed to follow him so I stay inside the elevator. Doors close and I go down. At the bottom some people get in and ask me which floor I am looking for. I tell them whatever they want is good. Then they realize I was already on the elevator so I should be exiting it. They hit the open doors button and pop back out like they are afraid of me. I hit several buttons and the doors close. After stopping on several floors I remember I am on the 19th.
There is no 19th button on the panel. I get paranoid. Maybe the part of the hotel blasted off and left me here? Shit! I have my first full blown panic attack. Now I am seriously afraid of going down. In my mind the people on the bottom floor are alien to me and they are becoming suspicious of my ways...
I hit a button and exit on whatever floor it is.. Lucky for my dry mouth I pop right into the room with the ice machine and coke machines. After about 10 minutes of studying the coke machine I figure out how to get one out of it. I am happy for about 5 seconds and then I forget what I am doing and where I am...
I hear the elevator make a ding sound. Someone is coming! I am sure the aliens have dropped the act and are no longer using their cloaking devices so I duck behind the ice machine. They walk past. I don't even want to look as they do because I am sure their hideous bodies will be too much for me to handle.
Like a green beret in action I slip over to the elevator. I wonder what in the fuck I am going to do... I ponder using the stairs... No... What if some of their youth aliens are hanging out there? Surely they'd fuck with me. I hit the down button and prepare for the worst.
By the time I hit the bottom I had convinced myself that not everyone was an alien so surely they'd have the cloaking device turned on in the casino floor. But by the time I get to the bottom I have forgotten that I am having a panic attack or that aliens are in the hotel or that the roof flew away without me.
The doors open. A smiling family waits for me to exit. I do making sure not to turn my back towards them so they can't pull me in with them all the while trying to act non-chelant. The girl is probably thinking I have what ever Monk has...
I see another bank of elevators across the hall and remember that my floor is only accessible by them. A feeling of euphoria sweeps over me. I feel like I just got discharged from the Infantry as WWII has ended. I made it out alive! Then I get a sick feeling in my gut. Where is my buddy. Is he OK? I call him which is strange because I can't figure out how to use an elevator but I can use my cell phone like its a part of my body.
He answers and I can hear his old lady giving him shit in the background. I hangup because I cannot process what he is saying. Cool, he is OK... kind of.
Oh shit! What about my GF? I notice I have 2 missed calls from (3) hours ago. WTF? 3 hours? I feel like I just left... or never left.. or that it is yesterday or tomorrow. I bust up laughing, look up and there is a security guard. He asks if he can help me and I tell him I need to get to 19 but the elevator stopped at 8. He points me to the right one. sweeeeuuuuwwww!
Just before the doors close a mom and her 8 year old'ish daughter get in. The daughter is wearing a one piece bathing suit and mom is one of those types that always fears the worst (without a hit of JWH-18).
She pulls he daughter close and hits 19. She asks me what number I need and I say something like, oh, that one will do fine. She grips her daughters hand tighter. I smile reassuringly, but in retrospect it was right out of the Hannibal Lecter handbook for creeping people out.
We exit the hotel and my room is the farthest away. Hers is about 3 before that. The hallway is a good 100 yards long. Imagine you and your daughter walking down a hallway with a dude behind you that "just isn't right" and his flipflops are flopping for 10 yards.. 25.. 45... 50!.. 70 where is this guys room? 80, surely he is coming for us! 90!!! WTF? She grabs her daughter and flattens against the wall hoping I will keep walking. I stop and ask her if she is OK. She yells for me to leave her alone and I tell her my room number and start walking towards it. As I reach it I hear her door slam behind me.
I open my door. There is a beer pong table set up in my room. My GF and a friend of ours are standing on the other side of it. The cups are filled. They toss me a ball and ask me where the other players are at. I tell them I don't know and that I will be playing solo. They say ok and we face off.
Time shifts and I am drinking a cup of beer. I look across the table and there are only 2 cups.... I have no recollection of sinking the other 4 (we are playing 6 cups because that is all there were I guess). I finish my beer like a good boy and try to act like time didn't just shift.
We re-rack. I win the face off and sink two cups back to back and get my balls back. I throw one and it makes it. I throw the other and it makes it too... Time shifts slightly and my GF is picking the balls up off of the floor about 18 feet away. The cups are still there. I realize I hallucinated having made these last two shots and think it better not to bring it up.
They ask me where I have been? I tell them I dunno. Lots of places. Lots of elevators... They figure I got too drunk to remember which elevator to take to the higher levels. I think it better if I don't inform them of the alien menace present in the hotel at this time. Who knows... maybe they were assimilated?
I lose again by two cups. Suddenly I feel woozy... Like hammered! I lean on the wall and the next thing I know I am in bed. People are there talking about me and I wake up. I can't tell what they are saying. I hear the words plain as day, but they might as well be speaking another language. Someone notices me and my GF comes over to kiss me. She asks if I am alright. I can't answer her... I know what she is saying only by feeling. Like I know she is soothing me but not what she is specifically saying. I also don't know how to answer her back. I think of the show LOST and how the Korean chick loses her ability to talk so she writes everything down. I pull out my phone and text her that I am OK. She looks alarmed that I didn't just say it. I head to the restroom.
While in there I completely forget why I am there. I think I know I peed. Maybe flushed the toilet, but now I am looking at the closet trying to figure out what to wear... only all of my sleeping stuff is in the room in drawers. I should wash my hands. While I am washing them I forget again. I resoap them and do it again... while drying I forget that I already peed and try to go again. I remember I already did and wash my hands. Someone knocks and asks if I am OK. I say yeah.. sweet, I got my voice back and I understood them.
I exit the restroom and the only one in my room is my GF and she is sleeping. The lights are off... WTF? Either I was in the restroom for an hour or more, or those people were never here? Did I even play beer pong? Did I actually go to the store? WTF?
I contemplate waking my GF up... then decide to let her sleep. I have some trippy dreams and they are loaded with color, lights and sound. motion... I wake up hours later, but feel like I went to sleep only minutes before.
My GF is telling me it is time to check out. I panic. I can't fathom what that means... is she saying we need to leave the hotel because security is coming? Are the aliens coming? is the ship blasting off, put your tray tables in an upright position and put your seatbelt on? By check out did she mean she is going to kill me? punch my card? When she walks over to sit next to me I scramble across the bed and b-line it into the bathroom.
The Counter Strike motion perception is back. I grab the handicap rails to balance myself and plop down on the toilet. I decide maybe I should wash my face. After several attempts at getting the water temp right I give up. I try to calm myself down. I go back to the toilet and pee, come back to the basin and wash up and notice the water is juuuuuuuussssst riiiiiiiggghhht. Time to wash my face! Now I am elated! I cannot believe my good fortune! I need to tell me GF!
I open the door and all of our shit is packed and by the door. Holy shit, she is fast!
Low level bombing run she asks... Huh? You were in there for almost an hour. I figured you were doing your business... wtf? an hour? I check the clock. She is correct. It felt like 4 minutes!
I took too much of some new drug! She looks at me knowingly. I blurted it out because I knew that if I didn't, I'd talk myself out of it. She says it seems like that is so and motions for me to man the suitcase. Time to head out.
Once in the car with the guy that played beer pong I tell them about my trip. They are all laughing... Now I can laugh too... But every once in a while his GF morphs slightly into an alien'ish thing in the front seat and I get scared for about 10 seconds and then it wares off. By the time we get back to L.A. I am pretty much back to normal.
Next time I plan to mix about this much (@@) pot with this much () JWH-18 and see if that doesn't make things a little less trippy, but a little more out of body than pot goes...
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