just ran my friendship into the ground, i fuck everything up

[\/apor]

well, this sucks, i had this best friend who stood by me through everything, then last night decides she cant watch me wreck my life. She's a bit straight laced, smoked weed every now and then but nothing major, I got hooked up with a new connect and i started talking to her about getting X and shit, and last night she just broke down, telling me that i wasnt fine and that im going to destroy my life, and that i should watch my step because its a long fall, really laying a guilt trip on me, so I go into asshole mode, saying shes blowing it all out of proportion. the only thing stopping me from going off the rails was her, and now i feel like shit is never going to get better, but at the same time part of me really wants to just say fuck her and go do a bunch of shit, i know i shouldnt but at this point i really need something, someone, anyone. You guys are my only true peers, the only people who can relate, i need help to get through this, I really miss her but i was just a complete and utter dick and now it's like I dont even deserve to talk to her, let alone be her best friend...

 

[freehugs]

You should show her this site, and other unbiased information about MDMA. Definitely don't do a bunch of shit and say fuck her, because that will never heal your relationship.

 

[RedLeader]

You gotta take a step back and think about where she's coming from. You might interpret her as being narrow-minded, judgmental, straight-laced, unsympathetic, etc, but really she's just caring for you in the way she knows how to. Likely nothing more. In her mind, hard drugs endanger lives, and you're using hard drugs, therefore hard drugs endanger your life. It's a valid argument, she probably just sees a bit more truth in the "hard drugs endanger lives" part than you do. Or you guys define "hard drugs" differently. Point is, she's made a conclusion in her mind that you are endangering your life and out of care/concern, she wants to not see you do that. Maybe she learned from her parents that guilt can be a deterrent, so she assumes this could work on you too. Just don't get too defensive about this because she is probably just really concerned.

Don't use her as an excuse to act out, because (1) you're going to face resistance throughout your life regarding this and it's not healthy to learn to react to it by using and (2) that actually is using drugs in an irresponsible and possibly dangerous way, which conflicts with the Harm Reduction thesis.

If you want the friendship back, I'd give it a day or two and then say something like "I understand that you are just concerned for me and my future, and it actually makes me feel good knowing that you care so much. I can't promise you that I'm not going to do something like ecstasy, but I can promise you that I'm not going to bring it around you, or even bring it up in conversation. If you ever want to ask any questions, though, feel free."

 

[maxalfie]

^^Excellent advice above. You would do well to follow it.
I hope it all works out well for you and you don't lose what sounds like a very good friend because true friends are hard to find.

 

[herbavore]

I would like to be the voice that advocates listening to your friend. Maybe she is right. I don't know what your drug use is; maybe it is actually the moderate use that you say and she is not able to accept that. But another possibility does exist and that is that your use is more than you are admitting and that she is worried for good reason. Like I say, I have no idea and don't want you to think that I think one way or the other. I just hope that you are looking at the situation honestly. A friend that has "stood by you" through everything is worth fighting for. What that looks like depends on a very clear and honest view of the situation on your part.

 

[thebay420]

Man i can totally relate to what your going thru. I have recently lost a friend of 5 plus years. I promised this person i wouldnt be high in the presence. Well I was high in there house and needless to say they called me out on it. I admitted and this person kicked me out told me to fuck off and never contact them again. Man it been about a month since ive talked to this person. It hurts but i dunno what to do about it. So ya man i just wanted to share that i feel where you are at.

 

[brimmy]

I would like to be the voice that advocates listening to your friend. Maybe she is right. I don't know what your drug use is; maybe it is actually the moderate use that you say and she is not able to accept that. But another possibility does exist and that is that your use is more than you are admitting and that she is worried for good reason. Like I say, I have no idea and don't want you to think that I think one way or the other. I just hope that you are looking at the situation honestly. A friend that has "stood by you" through everything is worth fighting for. What that looks like depends on a very clear and honest view of the situation on your part.

If this is over him possibly getting mdma (which is how i interpreted it) then she is a total bitch, you haven't lived, you haven't cared, you haven't loved, till you've rolled.

You should definitely be fine with mdma and weed (they're some of the safest, least addictive drugs there are), just make sure you test your mdma (it is extremely important to test it) and you'll be fine.

 

[Jabberwocky]

^^Well, this seems like more the extreme end of the reaction sprectrum. I liked what RedLeader, and although to a slightly lessor extent Herb, offered above.

Shit, the MDMA is not going anywhere. Reconnect with this person and soon enough I'm sure you'll find some time down the road to roll without the consequences being so sever as they presently are.

MDMA costs money. But such friends can be truly invaluable. You can't buy a good friend for $30 USD.

Rolls will come and go. To an extent you friends will as well. But I think it would be bordering on foolish to just calmly trade a really good friendship for 6 hours of nirvana.

And this is coming from someone who more or less agree with the above "you haven't lived, you haven't cared, you haven't loved, till you've rolled" part.

 

[badfish45]

Fights with good friends happen a lot of the time, trust me they're much worse than normal. Since you have such a great friend, talk to her about it. Show her you're staying safe while you do it, show her that you're aware of the consequences. Of course I agree with herbavore when she says your friend might know what she's talking about. You don't know how hard it is to have to sit back and watch somebody make harmful and self destructive decisions, believe me when it happens it hurts more than anything. If anything, I will tell you that X is in no way worth a friendship that deep. Don't trade your friendships for anything, don't make the mistakes that I've made in the past.

 

[BK38]

I think there are 2 key things to focus on. Firstly, providing her with information about MDMA will help to reduce all that worry/anger/frustration she has. Also, it's important for you to recognize that she wouldn't be having any reaction to your drug taking at all if she didn't care! It's important for you to listen to her and respect her opinion, even if you disagree entirely.

My sister recently was in tears telling me about how (when I was really fucked up on Heroin and Tremadol HCL), she would sneak into my room and check to see if I was breathing. I remember a number of times when she threw away my drugs...I was so angry! But I realized after each time, that she was really doing it because she cared - she is a good friend and a great sibling.

Don't throw away your friendship over some X. As toothpastedog said, the X will stay around no matter what and there are better times to imbibe.

I hope you and your friend resolve things. You never know, maybe you 2 will end up rolling together!