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just got out of the hospital.. more fucked up than ive ever been in my entire life..

duneplanet

duneplanet

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
328
ive made a few topics before. basically im in benzo withdrawal and i was starting to lose it. so i stupidly went to the hospital thinking i was gonna get help/ at the hospital they rapidly took me off lyrica lamictal and suboxone at the same time. I literally could not leave my bed. finally, 3 weeks later im out and im still in hardcore withdrawals and i feel like im becoming psychotic. i wanna smash everything,. im so fucking sick of my life.

im not allowed to use herbs to help calm me anymore, no l-theanine, no kava, no valerian, no nothing. im going crazy. my parents were expecting me to get fixed and now im doing worse than ever. they are talking about putting me out on the street the first day i got home. i cant take this anymore man im going fucking crazy. i cant calm down i cant relax its hard to even fucking type. lyrica was helping my benzo withdrawal so much and now i cant have it. im still in withdrawal from it and suboxone, plus benzo withdrawal, and guys i cant take it anymore. my life is so ffucked up its ridiculous. i just want to fucking get a good night of sleep and have some relief. all i want is peace. i cant fucking calm down i feel like im on crystal meth in a very bad way. PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME/
 
m not allowed to use herbs to help calm me anymore, no l-theanine, no kava, no valerian, no nothing.
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Whats stopping you? go buy some Kava-Kava, it's not like it'll show up on any sort of drug test




And hang in there buddy, it always gets worse before it gets better...and it sounds like you went through the worst already
 
My girl had a hospital stay similar to yours and they took her from being clean from opiates to pumping her full of IV opiates...for a fall that wasn't causing pain! Now she is out and they wrote her NO script for anything..not even tramadol!! I tell you this only to say that the hospital system is jacked up to say the least....please don't let the w/d's take over your psyche...you should be really close to being healthy and clean!! Sending you positive vibes :)
 
Hey man i remember ur threads.Im sorry to hear ur still goin thru this shit but theres one drug u didnt mention how bout givin soma a shot.Order it online to a friends house and ur good it should help.N as far as i know you cant test for it.
I feel for u man i wish u the best and i hope u feel better soon
stay up man
 
Hospitals and doctors have been usless for my benzo WD agony. They fucked up by not keeping you on the suboxone and lyrica. Ideally it might be best to stay on the benzo and WD someone from opiates first. You definately don't need multiple WD's. IMO I would say get back on suboxone and lyrica, not necessarily high doses and stay on it for a while until the benzo WD goes away. Good luck.
 
Bro do you live in the states? Anywhere near the east coast by any chance?

I've been seeing you make threads about this tapering off the benzos for a while and I outright feel terrible for you. You were continuing to taper even when you sounded like you were going through a lot of pain. And you were in pain for a looong time. And now this happens and you sound even more fucked up than before. You do not deserve this shit and you don't deserve parents who can't understand why you're so fucked up. Coming off benzos is hardcore and I've seen long term addicts on here talk about how they were still feeling psychotic a year afterwards. I just can't imagine what type of shit you're going through.

Is there anyway you can sit down and have a talk with your parents? Like tell them that you DO want to do good in life but that you just need some quiet/down time till you get better? Its bad enough you got to be in the mental spot you are coming off the drugs, its a whole noter thing all together dealing with parents who are ignorant towards addiction.

Fuck man I really wish the best for you. If theres ANYTHING I can do feel free to pm. If you lived around me I'd come out no questions asked just to give you some support, you sound like you need it. Just try to plow through this part of your life and if you can step back a bit emotionally.
When people yell at me these days I just disconnect completely now and will actually fantasize about how good its gonna feel a year from now being sober and feeling so much better. It allows me to just brush off a lot of the crap my drug use has caused.

Take care bro - Bo
 
^ Yah bro you sound really down right fuckin chill, duneplanet. I really want to like just go to your scene and do some damage control, but I live far away!! Fuck man. You gota get back on subxone bro. Stop doing this.

I swear to god bro. STOP detoxing off of everything at once!! Your gonna fucking screw yourself. Get your life together, then detox when u have more stable environment. Thats what I'm doing and its working, and I am not in complete hell like before!
 
thanks guys/ coming off the meds was forced on me, and the doctor im forced to go see refused to put me back on any of them./ so what choice do i have but to do dope to keep sane? ive been going through this hell for years but this is the worst ive felt. Im craving opiates so bad. i just want that relief man, i cant do this anymore. they are setting me up to be a homeless addict hearing voices and talking into a crack pipe. i have no choices in my life. i dont have a credit card so i cant order any herbs or soma. im sick of this shit. i have some sub i saved hidden in my room that im gonna start taking once a week to give myself a break when the sub withdrawal is done. im 21 i should be o ut having fun, instead im pretty much bedridden. i actually feel too fucking shitty to move from this chair. im gonna go fucking crazy. and i cant get a new doctor if i want a home.

<snip>. i know my future guys.. searching the streets at 4 am for a fix to shut my fucking mind off. it wont shut up/ music is def saving my life right now. i just put on music and stare at the wall. ive had it. i want my meds back. i dotn want to feel like this anymore.

silent my voice
ive got no choice
all the world ive seen before me passing by
 
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I dont have a cc# either i dont think i can say which site but i order my soma C.O.D(cash on delivery).They charge you like $10 extra but for me i think soma is a godsend espeically to help me sleep.
For the opiate problem if you only have alittle sub i would suggest snorting it(i know not the best suggestion but it works much better and you can use much less)Also go to the pharmacy and buy some immodium it works pretty good at taking the edge off the w/d's.
I really wish i can help more man.Dont worry you're only 21 you got alot of time to go out n hav fun.
Just try n focus on feeling better and hopefully by the time you're 23 or 24 you will be having a blast!!
Try to get a job and get out of the house on your own.
Best of luck to you bro you got a whole great community behind you :)
 
Why were you on Lyrica and Lamictal?

I know when I took myself off of Lyrics (witched to Gabapentin) and then later took myself off of Gabapentin, I too went through a depression.
W/ding from benzos also was long lasting for me as well- a few weeks.
I'm not clear on why you were on these medications, why you were taken off of them and what kind of Dr. you are seeing.........
It seems to me that would be a very odd thing for any Dr. to do- to take you off of all of your meds at one time......Especially these.


Things are not hopeless, you can get through this, and will.
<3
 
they are starting me on gabapentin thank god. they are only gonna give me 900 mg max but it should at least make me a lil better right?
 
Yeah- there are a number of threads around BL on Gabapentin.
It is the similar to Lyrica but will likely pull you out of the funk you can get into when w/ding from lyrica and benzos-
Why are you prescribed these meds?
 
Have you tried just staying off all the meds? I know its hard at first but the best thing in the long run is to just tough it out and keep yourself busy, I must of cold turkeyd from benzos 10-15 times in the past 2 years, and had problems with alcohol too, this is the first time i decided to fuck the meds/drugs and just keep at it, 2 weeks without a drink and 3-4 without a benzo and im feeling great (still anxiety ridden but at least im functionable now)

You dont need the meds, just eat healthy and exercise and things will improve! If you keep taking meds/drugs its just going to delay what your going to have to go through eventually, unless you want to be on meds for the rest of your life?

Also how long has it been since a dose benzo? What were you currently at dosage wise?
 
im too god damn anxious to go without meds. ive been off benzos for 4 months i have the post acute withdrawal shit from the benzos and its pretty bad,, actually im no better than i was when i first came off benzos so i guess the lyrica extended it. i started the gabapentin and i actually feel worse. im only on 300 maybe thats why. i get no relief from it at all and idk if they are gonna raise me. wtf is going on with me? maybe its cause i was addicted to 550 mg of lyrica so my brain is craving more. i cant believe i fucking feel worse tho.
 
i know it does work at .5. at the hospital they said 1 mg of sub doesnt do anythign and i wont notice the difference when they stop me at it. ten trips to the toilet later i told them i disagreed. oh and guys lyrica withdrawal is a fucking nightmare.. i still feel like shit with the tiny bit of neurontin they gave me. is it possible ui have permanent damage to my cns from coming off the benzos too fast? cause its been a while man and im still sick as hell.
 
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