Jumping out of my skin at times

[treezy z]

I'm sober since may 16. There's times where if I try and sit still I feel so restless I want to throw the table/chair etc. I shadow box and shit when I get this feeling but there's days at work where I have to do clerical work (about once a week, usually I'm doing physical labour) and I feel like jumping up flipping the desk and walking out.

Is this withdrawal? I'm over a month and a half sober. It's really fucking bothering me. I won't go back to using but I might have to leave this fucking job.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

What was your drug of choice? And, when you were under the influence, did you feel the same way?

Sometimes feelings or behaviors which are suppressed (either intentionally or unintentionally by the user) by drugs come roaring back with renewed energy when you stop using drugs. It's not really "withdrawal", which I think of as something linked to physical addiction, but it is sometimes a consequence of drug cessation.

 

[Jabberwocky]

And then there is that "syndrome" called PAW (PAWS), though I don't think anyone ever explained it to me and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.

 

[treezy z]

Drugs of choice uppers and dissociatives.

also weed and usually some downer everyday.

didn't get this feeling while high.

 

[w0w0mg]

Sounds like you're going thru some PAWS my friend.
These feelings pass over time.
I too get those 'rage-like' feelings, it passes though.
Try to just relax when you feel like you're getting amp'd up.
I know it's a lot harder than it sounds, but just focus on something else until those feelings pass.
Good luck my friend, and fantastic job on staying clean!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Yeah I am angry a lot of the time. PAWS for sure.

Exercise and meditation can help. It's not instant, expect slow changes.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Good advice. I definitely created some nasty bodily habits and equally if not uglier mental habits, thus I now get to experience the genuine joys, pleasure, discomforts and pains of letting those negative habits goes, while filling the empty space left in the process with healthier, wiser and more skillful ways. Its a long, sloe, wonderous, wierd and crazy cool road, thats for sure!

Anyhoo, all I meant to communicate was: gotta cultivate health within the body and the mind, as one cannot truly do so in one and not the other, for they are not only interconnected but, at times, blend together as one.

 

[manboychef]

PAWS never made me really angry. Hopeless, anxious....I am talkative. It quieted me right down.

 

[Jabberwocky]

LOL that's a good attitude Zack :D

Good example of using our problems for good, as fuel feeding the flames of the bonfire that is life ablaze(!).

For example, I tend to get easily depressed and anxious. I also have introspective tendencies, though I'm far from a loner. Anyways, most could easily see all those character traits being very negative on the whole. However, on their own, such traits are neither good nor bad. I choose to channel them into something more positive and constructive: You say depressed? I say cool, quite, calm and collected. You say anxious? I say energetic, alive and creative. You say introspective? I say thoughtful. You get the point

Though they may neither be inherently good or bad, they definitely are what you make of them. I use my mindfulness practices to make them into something good, to cultivate the good in them and in me, because if I don't I'll end up cultivating the bad and bring sorrow not just to myself but to all those around me, most of all to those I care about most, which is sad but the truth. Same thing happened in my addiction.

Now that I have woken up to my life, I have a choice. Actually, now I have lots of choices!

 

[Dodger Guy LA]

You guys blow me away with all of your wisdom that I have read since I joined BL! Each of you have such great insight and each one of you give such awesome perspective to sober living from what ever we are battlleing.

 

[spacejunk]

Drugs of choice uppers and dissociatives.

also weed and usually some downer everyday.

didn't get this feeling while high.

Which dissociatives?
I was reading about a really drawn-out 3-meo-pcp withdrawal on here yesterday.
But i can relate to the post-sobriety anger thing too.

 

[manboychef]

Something that worked for me for the feelings of depression was expressing my creativity. Whatever you like to do: Write short stories, paint something, draw, write a skit, mack on women...etc.

Expressing creativity is a great diversion tactic.

Here are some things I made during PAWS...both opiates and benzos.

I guess what I mean to say is PAWS is extremely bad when you are not busy. It is very easy to get drawn into your own sadness and misery if that is what you are focusing on.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Art therapy type stuff, by which I just mean however you express your own individual, unqiue creative talents, is serious soul food, even if it just means getting creative with electrical tape on a bicycle like meh %)

I like it!

Makes me all happy inside, both when I look at my bike and while I am riding it.

 

[manboychef]

This is true!^^^

What do you do for fun treezy? A big part of recovery during paws is replacing the act of using with something else. It should be something you enjoy, so don't just start working all kinds of hours (didn't work well for me and led to a relapse.)