Hey bluelight, I've got a problem and I was hoping you could help. Appologies in advance for the wall of text, but a) I need to vent and b) I need help from realistic people, not idealistic ones like parents and shrinks.
For me, drugs are the only things that bring me joy, and to clarify, drugs aren't the cause, I was joyless before drug use. I'm 15, the problem started around 12 when my grandmother died (she was the most incredible person I've ever met) after her death things got progressively worse. I trudged on for the next 2 years, no one had any idea how I was feeling. I looked happy. I was a hyperactive, smart, cute kid. I started to become more and more pessimistic (realistic?) things just lost the luster they once had. To make matters worse I was getting a whole lot of crap from my parents for bad grades, because since Im "gifted" I am expected to do well in school. Up until this year I wished I was dead, I even tried to kill myself. Then I found pot, and EVERYTHING was brighter. I get told that it only lasts for a while but the thing is that knowing that there is a way for me to feel good is a drive for me to move forward, for once I could be happy! Pot was my lifeline, smoking pot even made me fit in with people who shared a common interest! (that's tough for a kid with tourettes and zero talent) I was finally happy, until some bitch who I thought was my friend told my parents about it because she thought I was killing myself with my drug use. Now my parents won't let me do anything, they tell me that there are other ways to be happy and I just need to try them but I have and they didn't work. They won't listen to me, I don't know what to do, I need advice.
For me, drugs are the only things that bring me joy, and to clarify, drugs aren't the cause, I was joyless before drug use. I'm 15, the problem started around 12 when my grandmother died (she was the most incredible person I've ever met) after her death things got progressively worse. I trudged on for the next 2 years, no one had any idea how I was feeling. I looked happy. I was a hyperactive, smart, cute kid. I started to become more and more pessimistic (realistic?) things just lost the luster they once had. To make matters worse I was getting a whole lot of crap from my parents for bad grades, because since Im "gifted" I am expected to do well in school. Up until this year I wished I was dead, I even tried to kill myself. Then I found pot, and EVERYTHING was brighter. I get told that it only lasts for a while but the thing is that knowing that there is a way for me to feel good is a drive for me to move forward, for once I could be happy! Pot was my lifeline, smoking pot even made me fit in with people who shared a common interest! (that's tough for a kid with tourettes and zero talent) I was finally happy, until some bitch who I thought was my friend told my parents about it because she thought I was killing myself with my drug use. Now my parents won't let me do anything, they tell me that there are other ways to be happy and I just need to try them but I have and they didn't work. They won't listen to me, I don't know what to do, I need advice.
