Isolation and substance abuse

[chief ten beers]

Well my situation briefly: I got divorced about a year ago and moved to another state where I have some family, I had been totally clean and sober for a year up until I relocated. My wife had been very supportive of my sobriety and really held me accountable, which really helps when you are trying to stay sober. But since the move I've been completely unaccountable to anyone, my circle all party pretty hard and left to my own devices I'm back where I was before my marriage except worse. So I find myself depressed as hell, no focus, no zest for life, and drunk or high most days. I've lost interest in most of my hobbies and each day is more and more feeling like a chore just to get through it. I can't seem to find the strength or the desire to get sober again as there doesn't seem as much of a reason to live anymore. I'm not ready to do anything drastic but I'm ok with dying, just can't imagine ending it by my own hand. I'm longer young, I'm pushing 50 so I've experienced pretty much all that life has to offer. What sucks is realizing your best days are behind you now and it probably won't be getting any better. It's a bitter pill to swallow, especially when you have too much time on your hands to isolate, use, and reflect back upon a life your not too proud of. Thanks for listening

 

[weekend addiction]

When you isolate you reflect on the past and are less "in the moment" and if you have lots of regrets about life you can see where this would be a problem. Good luck I know how you feel. I also feel like my best days are behind me at times that's a rough thing to accept but at some point it will be the reality for everybody....

 

[Burnt Offerings]

First off: are you currently using? I read your post and it sounds like you are. From my own personal experience, plus the experiences of others I've talked to & read from on this site, the thoughts and perceptions you have while in active use (and continuing on even after you become sober...the recovery time period for hard stimulant and opiate abuse can span many months, even years) are often distorted. Especially feelings about your own life, the pointlessness of it all, your existential pain etc. You can't get anything approaching an accurate perspective on your life when you're still caught in a destructive cycle.

So there's that. IMO different stages of a person's life offer different opportunities to enrich your life and the lives of other people...you may not be able or even willing to do what you did when you were younger, but that doesn't mean that your life today has to be some long crawl towards death. People in their 60's are actually often more content/happy than people in their 20's, at least according to some studies I looked at while taking psychology. My parents are old (my dad is in his 70s) and they still do a ton of stuff.

Isolation is a big problem when it comes to drugs and drug addiction, though. It seems like your only "friends" are fellow users when you're deep enough into it, and when you quit you suddenly have no one in your life. You even find yourself missing the fools who used to piss you off when you were high The only solution to this problem is to actively broaden your social circle by seeking out non-drug users, or at least people for whom your relationship isn't founded upon mutual drug use. Humans, generally-speaking, are social animals and you should definitely seek out the support of other people.

 

[DogLover123757]

Hello, you are not alone my friend. I just turned 40 and when I reflect back on my life it's miserable and crushing. I have lost so many good jobs around genuinely good people because of my addictions and I pretty much isolated all the time. When I was using all my friends weren't really friends which I am sure you can relate to. If only we could turn back time and get a chance to go through certain things with a clearer and more stable mentality. When I was using I was always out and getting crazy and when I dried up I lost all interest in things, it seems like all my feelings are dulled or numb all the time. I still have much to be thankful for which I will always be grateful. I hope you are doing okay and remember that there are many people going through the same struggles. Good luck!

 

[Cosmic Trigger]

Well my situation briefly: I got divorced about a year ago and moved to another state where I have some family, I had been totally clean and sober for a year up until I relocated. My wife had been very supportive of my sobriety and really held me accountable, which really helps when you are trying to stay sober. But since the move I've been completely unaccountable to anyone, my circle all party pretty hard and left to my own devices I'm back where I was before my marriage except worse. So I find myself depressed as hell, no focus, no zest for life, and drunk or high most days. I've lost interest in most of my hobbies and each day is more and more feeling like a chore just to get through it. I can't seem to find the strength or the desire to get sober again as there doesn't seem as much of a reason to live anymore. I'm not ready to do anything drastic but I'm ok with dying, just can't imagine ending it by my own hand. I'm longer young, I'm pushing 50 so I've experienced pretty much all that life has to offer. What sucks is realizing your best days are behind you now and it probably won't be getting any better. It's a bitter pill to swallow, especially when you have too much time on your hands to isolate, use, and reflect back upon a life your not too proud of. Thanks for listening

Well that's life but there is no real point in getting down on yourself. The progression of life due to emotional avoidance of our mortality does not prepare us for the facts of aging and physical decline. So one day you wake up to find the glory days behind you and all those good intentions of getting yourself in shape and back in the game are mostly gone. It's a tough pill whether you are a druggie or not. In my situation I don't really want a social life any longer. I'm done with that drama but on the other hand I'm a social animal by my primate nature. Rock and hard place. Thank goodness for my dogs. I have no advice but I do hear you. Best of luck.

 

[deos68]

same here i wake and feel like ...shit here we go again no motivation(..does feel like a chore) to live life and just isolate myself
its weird the rare times people invite me out im usually not up for it and when i get up the nerve(which says a lot if i reach out...i rarely ever do) people are usually busy with RL
i can agree with what others have said if you isolate yourself you get to thinking about all the BS in life and it begins to consume you