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Is it possible to be immune to shame?

Bucklecroft Rudy

Bucklecroft Rudy

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I'd be typing this on a gold plated keyboard if I had a penny for every time ive heard someone say "I dont give a fuck what people think of me".
It sounds pretty mealy mouthed to me and I challenge it by asking the person in question whether they would be happy to have their parents view their porn history, or whether being tied naked to a lamppost in the middle of the street during rush hour would leave them totally unphased. I dont believe it is humanly possible for the most part to be immune to shame.

For someone who is socially isolated and thus has no ties to anyone I suppose it would be possible over time to get to the point where people's opinions are unimportant in the grand scheme- as indeed they are. For everyone else being a social animal means that you care about your position in the hierarchy as well as being conscious - often painfully so - of how people perceive you. That sense of others is what keeps society from splitting in two - many people need to have an external source of shame to regulate their behaviour and even impart a sense of morality.

I'd imagine that psycho/socio paths would be senseless to shame due to the lack of empathy and delusions of grandeur and this is interesting as it says something about what true shamelessness looks like. I personally would love to be able to step outside the house stark naked and go cycling or to be completely blase about the many embarassing incidents that have transpired throughout my life but what would I lose in the process? Who is excluded from this? Do friends not factor in what about lovers? Can true shamelessness be selective? It looks to me like the closest one can get to that state would be the ability to rationalise shame. The only consequence I should fear of public exposure is rape or arrest haha not a few stares. However the same scenario transposed into the workplace would cost me a job and the respect of my co workers (essential in most office/work environments). One can seperate the people that matter and the people that dont but to be immune to the dissaproval of loved ones would hack a great piece out of what it is to love

So the question is whether it is possible to dissociate one's emotions from external opinion to not care about what people think. Is this a fundamental part of empathy or is it just another human flaw?
 
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this is a big topic.

i have to think of what it means to be humble. what is liberation and how is that attained?

the story of the Fool and the Hanged Man come to mind.

i couldnt let myself be humiliated being tied to a lamppost. no way, this would take too much time and effort.


there are so many contexts, but i feel people should not be ashamed to speak their minds and be themselves, learn about and do what they feel the need to.

but to what extents? our immediate surroundings do shape and create this expectancy.


making mistakes is important, allowing those mistakes to happen and being able to learn from what proceeds. i guess if you cant learn from your 'shameless actions' you wont be able to carry on as so for long...is was it comes down to for me.
 
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It should be possible through enlightenment, in theory. It's also probably possible through certain pathological means, like certain serial killers who seemingly have no remorse nor any shame or embarrasment when they get caught. I wouldn't recommend striving after the latter however.
 
I don't feel shame, I can't recall a time I've ever been embarrassed. as for the other type of shame, I hold myself to high operational standards so I don't have anything to really be ashamed of. ^as poster above stated, its really just a function of self consciousness.
 
Im talking about extreme situations here though. Not something like being called ginger or fatty - these things are manageable with the right mindset absolutely. Im talking about a world where paedophiles have to wear signs round their neck which describe their exact offense in detail. How would you feel if you were wrongly convicted and forced to wear that sign. Would you feel no shame?
 
Bucklecroft Rudy said:
Im talking about extreme situations here though. Not something like being called ginger or fatty - these things are manageable with the right mindset absolutely. Im talking about a world where paedophiles have to wear signs round their neck which describe their exact offense in detail. How would you feel if you were wrongly convicted and forced to wear that sign. Would you feel no shame?
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Why would I? If I know I'm not then it shouldn't matter.
 
burn out said:
It should be possible through enlightenment, in theory. It's also probably possible through certain pathological means, like certain serial killers who seemingly have no remorse nor any shame or embarrasment when they get caught. I wouldn't recommend striving after the latter however.
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this.

some people just dont give a shit. some people dont experience social anxiety, some people dont experience empathy, all kinds of things. shame is just another one
 
I think if I was tied naked to a street light I would feel shame at first, but soon an overwhelming sense of freedom would come sweeping over me, and then I'd get the guts to finally start that modelling career I've been talking about.
 
I'd hazard a guess that people who are unable to achieve consciousness would be immune to shame. i.e. severe brain injury.


People who have not developed any socialization that is responsible for shame will be immune, at least for the time being. i.e. infants.
 
Ask someone from a Confucian culture what they'd think of someone unable to feel shame, and they'll fire back, without missing a beat, "Not a good person." For them, it's the ability to feel shame that defines being a good human being; you're only as good as the extent to which you can feel your own self-worth diminish in response to having wronged others. This sounds harsh on the surface, but the inverse is essentially how we define a sociopath: you're a bad person to the extent to which you can feel good about yourself after having done somebody wrong.
 
Psalm 119:80

let my heart be sound in thy statutes; that I not be ashamed.

Originally Posted by Bucklecroft Rudy
when I say shame I mean profound embarassment not guilt just to confirm
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profound shame is a limiting context, or maybe caused by intense(learned) insecurities.

?


i think that fear of shame inhibits most peoples true potential.
 
If you decide to not take anything personally then you can be partially immune to shame. Taking things personally even if they are not meant personally causes you to react in way that makes yourself feel ashamed, if you decide to believe that the words that come out of other people's mouths are their own words only and are just their perceptions of the world and are really nothing to do with you then it is a lot easier to not care what people think and be more "shameless"

I'm pretty much taking this from a book I read called "The Four Agreements" not word for word or anything, just from what I remember about the book. It is a pretty good book.

Everyone lives in their own little world and you can only get upset or ashamed or embarrassed or angry or happy because of the way that you perceive things in your own little world. It is up to you what you let inside your bubble to affect your emotions.

It is possible to slowly build up a tolerance to shame and I think it is possible to eventually become immune to it completely, but it is not going to be an easy task, not in this world, in this society where we are constantly being reminded of all the things that we are supposed to feel bad about and feel guilty about and feel ashamed about.

It's up to you though ultimately.
 
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