• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Is interest in feminine toys/shows/toons as a child an indication of being gay?

Lysis

Lysis

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
31,644
Location
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
I don't really have a particular opinion on this subject. (Surprise! I might not argue in this thread! :D :D :D )

Here's the story: A friend of mine has 2 kids. We've been hanging out a lot. He told me that he thinks his youngest (8 years old) is gay. At first, I thought "Naaaaah...you're being ridiculous." He's the military raised, very strict parent. He says he's OK with it, but I dunno. He's gone so far as telling his oldest not to say things are "gay," just in case he's right. I have to remember to not use the phrase too. lol

Now that I've been around his kids more, I'm thinking he might be right, but I dunno. His kid does like more feminine things and his brother picks on him for liking "girl toys." His brother is a lot bigger than he is, and the little one is so tiny. I know that doesn't make him gay, but the little one gets bullied a little bit because he's so small. The little one is going to be like me, I think: Shy, a computer geek, gamer, somewhat antisocial depending on the situation, but he's a smart smart kid. Much smarter than his brother. The big brother is going to be like that O'Doyle guy who always said "O'Doyle rules!" (forget the movie lol). The dad definitely favors the eldest..hands down. It's obvious to me, so it's a little upsetting that the youngest probably can or will see it at some point. I feel for him.

Anyway, it's kinda made me wonder if there are these signs that the kid will be gay that are so obvious or is the dad overreacting. Just wondering what others thought. I'm obviously not giving the bigger picture here, because what I describe alone does not really indicate anything, but the kid's mannerisms, interests and how he is with other kids does make me wonder.

Recently, the kid reported to his guidance counselor that this other kid was grabbing him where he didn't like it. The kid was grabbing his balls as a joke, but my friend's kid was uncomfortable enough to say something. Because of it, he now gets counseling once a week, CPS was called for both my friend and the abusive kids' parents. Not sure if it's relevant, but it wasn't even my kid and if I saw that abusive kid, I think I would have ripped his face off for what he did.
 
Gender is not so set in stone that little habits like these can be indicative of being gay. It can mean almost anything about pushing boundaries of gender. I always questioned gender, tried to relate to females in certain circumstances, found interest in girls shows/clothing/etc., however the last thing I am is gay. I do push the boundaries when it comes to gender roles in certain circumstances (more private - I don't project these gender line pushing out in public as I was emotionally abused, physically abused, etc., so I had some issues to deal with and don't like even my friends knowing). My parents asked if I was gay after finding some evidence similar to what you are asking about (I was 12 or 13 at the time), and I honestly wasn't/am not gay. People just have it in their mind in our culture that males pushing the gender boundaries as a kid is really indicative of them being homosexual, yet when it comes to females pushing the gender boundaries, its not really seen as unusual. Think about how often 'tom boys' are seen as not an issue, yet a male who likes some 'feminine' things is considered gay/unusual/an issue
 
I don't think the little boy would be gay based on what you're saying. I think the actual issue is the fact that his father favors the older child.
 
Your friend is thinking too much. I would politely inform him that his obsession with all things gay says more about him than anything else.

Food for thought and all that.

;)
 
^this.

agreeing with tudes feedback also

the emphasis placed on children of this generation to report instances of sexual harassment to a trusted adult is alot greater than we were younger. when reporting such scenarios they are not taken lightly by schools or counsellors for obvious reason, which would explain the weekly therapy sessions.

im not sure how any of the descriptions youve given are indicative of the child being of homosexual nature?

...kytnism...:|
 
The cover article of an Italian magazine a few weeks ago was about boys that actually cross-dress, but not even that behaviour seems to be equivalent of being gay. As Cloudy says, people are beginning to see (to think?) that gender boundaries are not really set in stone, expecially at a young age. I would not take any preference about non-sexual things as indicator of sexual preferences.

Btw, I did not understand what are 'more feminine things'.. does he like to cook? Does he watch that little pony stuff? I was 5 I started to cook with my mother, and I wasn't gay. Hell, I _still_ would prefer to learn how to sew instead of, let's say, how to weld. And I'm still not gay :P
Ok, thinking about it: interest in feminine /whatever/ could be indicators of an adolescent or a young adult being gay - they might be growing into the gay gender role (or stereotype). For a child (expecially a young one) I would still say no.
 
Last edited:
As someone that admittedly does not enjoy cleaning, would you be opposed to a man that enjoys it?

I did enjoy being the cleaner in my last live in relationship. Would you reject that and label me "gay" because I didn't want to work more hours to hire a cleaning lady that didn't speak English?

/just tossing out some random popularly accepted gender roles that have bean handed down by a male centric point of reference and social thought control over the centuries.

:)

I liked to clean because I like working with my hands and I derived some sense of structure and control over my environment. It was also a nice outlet for my anxious body and mind.

We as humans have evolved to derive satisfaction by working with our hands. If someone thinks that makes me feminine or gay, then--well--I think they just haven't really made an effort to program their own mind.

As an even further aside my gay ex's father did not like the idea of him playing with G.I. Joes. Because they were really just dolls!

That didn't prevent my ex from becoming a "butch" faggot.

:D
 
ilovesmokeyjoe said:
The movie was RV:)
Click to expand...

No, I'm not pulling this from a movie. :p

I'm actually kinda intrigued and am interested in seeing what happens in several years, but who knows if I'll still be around him to see it. B1tO'RoughJack , yeah, he's a momma's boy. He's a little sweetie, and the mom doesn't come around anymore. His brother made the remark "Why does K always play with girl toys?" And I told him that I played with boy toys when I was a kid, and I'm such a girl now. Then, the older brother says "Yeah, but boy toys are cooler." LOL out of the mouths of babes...
 
When my son was a toddler he liked to clomp around in mommy's high heels and wear my beady necklaces. My mother used to say "I think Timmy's gay" jokingly. He's 15 now and briefly had a girlfriend last year but they don't talk anymore. I'm sure he's still a virgin. If he ends up to be gay, it wouldn't bother me as long as he's happy.

That's sad this little boy was grabbed by a classmate and his mother doesn't come around anymore. I guess parents do have favorites and your friend sounds like the macho tough-guy military type so maybe it's natural for him to favor the older boy.
 
meat heads need love too

/biased

The sad part here is the extremes that our social constructs have come to in my opinion. Mars vs. Venus? really? They are both barren worlds incapable of supporting life as we know it.

I'm for a unified Earth where all humans get along. We are going to have to, because humanity has yet to figure out how to spread the virus to other balls of matter in the known universe.
 
Lysis said:
The big brother is going to be like that O'Doyle guy who always said "O'Doyle rules!" (forget the movie lol).
Click to expand...

ilovesmokeyjoe said:
The movie was RV:)
Click to expand...

Lysis said:
No, I'm not pulling this from a movie. :p
Click to expand...

I thought he meant the movie you couldn't remember the name of, but "O'Doyle rules" is from the movie Billy Madison.

I agree that gender roles are not set in stone and someone doing things differently than is expected by their family or society for their gender does not mean they are homosexual. I know guys who liked to cross-dress, play with dolls, style mom's hair, whatever, and are now adults and are not gay (and I don't think they are secretly gay either because these particular guys seem like they would have no problem coming out if they were, and seem happy in their relationships with females). But he could also turn out to be gay, I don't think you can really know either way at that age. Someone fitting the typical make stereotype certainly doesn't make them not gay either. I also think there is not a distinct line between hetereosexual and homosexual, it sounds cheesy but sexuality and gender identity really are more like a rainbow, gradient or mosaic. I do think it's good that the family is being aware of not using words like "gay" in a derogatory fashion to mean something stupid or uncool. Maybe they could try more not to make a big deal out of the "feminine" things he does or the suspicion that he might be gay, try not make the kid feel like he is "different" or abnormal, and try to make him feel like he is just as loved and valued as his brother.
 
didnt read thru the whole thread but based on what you posted i wouldnt outright say the kid is gay/gonna be gay

gender roles arent set it in stone

and are also a product of our every changing culture

to me an interest in feminine toys/shows/toons as a kid is indicative of having a larger feminine side and thats about it

not to say some gay men dont have larger feminine sides cuz its fairly common that they do, but this expression of ones feminity doesnt outright equate to being gay just in the same sense that a lack of feminity doesnt outright mean a male is straight

i dont know much about the Kensey scale but from what i have heard from other people and from a gender identity class years ago i believe it states that only a small % of the population is 100% straight or gay so if thats correct then there is a lot of grey area for the majority of the population
 
tumblr_m37sw3nL2M1qb6vu9o1_500.png
 
I used to like My Little Pony and I turned out straight. Basically.
 
I agree with everything people have said about it not really being anything that seems like he'll turn out gay. I thought my friend was crazy at first, and I think maybe his idea that his son is gay is creeping into my head. lol A couple days ago, the poor kid cried to his counselor (they assign them one when something sexual has been reported) that his mom never comes around. :( Maybe the kid is just acting out because the mom isn't around anymore. I will report back in about 7 years. lol

Not having any kids and watching these kids, I am intrigued by some of this stuff recently.

I thought he meant the movie you couldn't remember the name of, but "O'Doyle rules" is from the movie Billy Madison.
Click to expand...

Whooops, you're right. I was comparing the big brother to that guy. He's totally gonna be the huge football man's man kind of guy.
 
Who knows ... I loved Lego as a kid and I preferred to do woodworking stuff with my dad instead of Barbies and sewing stuff with my mom. I am definitely a feminine female (much more feminine than my sister or mom). That being said, I'm not sure about my sis ... she is 19 now and hasn't ever dated a guy (which is OK, but she has never expressed any interest in males at all). Who knows if she's going to be straight or not ... I'm sure we will find out eventually!
I would be interested in seeing if this younger kid did end up gay or not. But we probably won't know that for quite a few years!! I remember when I was younger, there was this boy in the elementary school I volunteered at who was SOO feminine. I always thought he'd end up coming out as gay. I tried to search for him on FB to see if I could find any clues but no luck :( lol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top