• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

is he more than a friend?

citizen cained

citizen cained

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
507
Location
Wherever I wake up in the morning, so my house mos
ok i am in a LDR and I trust my girl 100%, she has a lot of male friends but this doesn't worry me as she is not the cheating type (i can just tell..) however,
she has recently became close to a guy and I am starting to get a bit jealous, he works in the same place as her and they often hang out, I was visiting her one day and she wanted me to meet him so we met up, he seemed a nice guy, had a J or 2 and just chilled but I am also a guy and know the guy mind therefore i never trust their inner motives.

She says there is nothing going on and I believe her but I am just worried that she will fall for him or he would try something on with her (although she is a weird type of girl and can make friends with guys and become really close, give the guy the wrong idea and then seem shocked that the guy tried to kiss her or thought she liked him..)

basicly i am asking for the signs that things are getting a little too close if you know what i mean. Anyone else have experience in this?
 
OK questions
Does he look like a guy she would like. Attractive or what not? Does he call her alot and shows her attention? What makes him such a threat to you?
 
I am the jealous type so pretty much when i'm in any relationship, I pretty much expect a girl to cheat or whatever. I'm not proud of this b/c it sucks a lot. But I had this girlfriend for like 14 months and didn't have actual proof that she cheated on me until afterwords. But the things you gotta do to make sure if she is or isn't is- look at her phone when she's not looking (mostly every girl doesn't want you to look at their phone) but go to her text messages and there will either be some shady shit on there or her texts will all be deleted. If they are all deleted than thats not good. You can also go through her contacts and look for dudes names or just like weird names like say a one letter name (like E for instance) that one letter could symbolize to her the guys name. From there you can text or call that number from your phone, if they answer and its a dude you can ask whats up with him and your girl and make sure you tell him not to be a cockblocker and call your girl bitching about you calling too. If she's being shady trying to chill with people without you then she's probably cheating on you. A big one is if she wants to go to a party without you. Every girl should want their man with her at a party, if she doesn't than she's a lying smut that you need to dump...
 
^Yeah, I never invaded anyone's privacy, but when she wants to go to a party without you or hang out with people and duck you then she is cheating.

You don't seem worried about her cheating so what is the problem? Why feel threatened? Tell your girl that you got a bit of a vibe off him and you trust her but that you don't trust him. Don't tell her she can't hang out with him or that you need to be around, but tell her that you think there is more going on there than she thinks. Just be honest with her, that's the best move.
 
dude if they work together youre probably right to worry. almost every place ive worked everybody hooks up with everybody else there eventually. something about seeing each other all the time and all that.
 
Does this LTR have any light at the end of the tunnel? Or is the situation indefinite? If it's the second, then you have trouble.
 
She's been open about her friendship to the point of wanting you to meet him, see what you think of someone she clearly sees as a nice guy and a good friend that could potentially be a good friend to you both. It might well be the case that he's harbouring fantasies about her and just wants to fuck her brains out but sounds like your g/f has been very clear where her affections lie if I'm reading between the lines correctly.

What I would say is that what she sees as direct signals regarding her unavailability might be read very differently by him. One of my ex's was a twat for it. She had a male friend who'd spend most weekends with her getting coked off their heads, sharing the same bed and cuddling off to sleep but where she was adamant it wast about it being nice to be able to enjoy that closeness with a male friend without sex getting in the way, he always clearly lived in hope that one night she'd decide what the hell and fuck him just for the fun of it, cos he loved her romantically, she just loved him as a mate. How he interprets things is not really anything to do with your g/f and the messages she's sending him so long as they are clear, unambiguous and constant. It's entirely an issue with him. Don't let it bother you making more out of it than it is, but be honest that's how you feel. Maybe she's not considered that too much as yet cos she's not the one that's confused.
 
citizen cained said:
ok i am in a LDR and I trust my girl 100%, she has a lot of male friends but this doesn't worry me as she is not the cheating type (i can just tell..) however,
she has recently became close to a guy and I am starting to get a bit jealous, he works in the same place as her and they often hang out, I was visiting her one day and she wanted me to meet him so we met up, he seemed a nice guy, had a J or 2 and just chilled but I am also a guy and know the guy mind therefore i never trust their inner motives.

She says there is nothing going on and I believe her but I am just worried that she will fall for him or he would try something on with her (although she is a weird type of girl and can make friends with guys and become really close, give the guy the wrong idea and then seem shocked that the guy tried to kiss her or thought she liked him..)

basicly i am asking for the signs that things are getting a little too close if you know what i mean. Anyone else have experience in this?
Click to expand...

I dunno - if they're hanging out, and she wanted you to meet him - do what the French do - if you think he's a potential threat, make him YOUR best friend...alternatively you could get all macho and "fuck off, dude", but that's stupid.

GenericMind said:
I don't know any guy that hangs out with a girl he doesn't want to fuck.
Click to expand...

Yeah as a general rule, unless it's old school friends, I hardly ever make efforts to hang out with women I'm not sexually attracted to (unless they have a very attractive friend I want to get to know, or they can teach me something).

Maybe the third wheel has very few friends...

maybe he does fancy her...

- BUT she introduced him to YOU - her boyfriend, so that's showing him very clearly that's she is spoken for.

As a guy though, I'd still probably try and make a move if I thought I could offer a girl more, but her actions should tell you that in her mind there is nothing more between them, and she wanted him to see it.

He could be gay for all you know, find out more about him - if it's someone your girl wants to get to know, then he should be someone you should want to get to know imo.
 
Last edited:
citizen cained said:
I trust my girl 100%
Click to expand...
citizen cained said:
she is not the cheating type (i can just tell..)
Click to expand...
citizen cained said:
I am starting to get a bit jealous
Click to expand...
citizen cained said:
She says there is nothing going on and I believe her
Click to expand...
citizen cained said:
I am just worried that she will fall for him
Click to expand...
the statements above would appear to contradict each other. sounds to me like you tell yourself you trust her but you fundamentally don't.
citizen cained said:
or he would try something on with her
Click to expand...
gm's right - there's a very good chance he's trying to get with her but that doesn't necessarily mean she'd respond in kind.

you need to talk to her (and to yourself).

alasdair
 
also, and hopefully your girl isnt like this, but at my last job there was a girl who started making moves on me and we ended up hooking up a few times and she had a boyfriend the whole time. one night we had an open bar after work and he showed up and she introduced us and stuff and we hung out in a group with a few other people all night. Im pretty sure she did this so he wouldnt be suspicious, cuz after all who expects to be introduced to the person that your s/o is fucking.

sketchy sketchy bitches.
 
GenericMind said:
I don't know any guy that hangs out with a girl he doesn't want to fuck.
Click to expand...

with all due respect, my dude, I have to say that this statement is bullshit and completely irks me

but then again, I am the first to refute it? do all of you guys really only hang out with a girl if you want to bang them? I have plenty of friends who are of the fairer sex, many of them quite attractive, but I have no interest in a sexual relationship. perhaps it's because I've been in a LTR myself for so long?
 
axl blaze said:
with all due respect, my dude, I have to say that this statement is bullshit and completely irks me

but then again, I am the first to refute it? do all of you guys really only hang out with a girl if you want to bang them? I have plenty of friends who are of the fairer sex, many of them quite attractive, but I have no interest in a sexual relationship. perhaps it's because I've been in a LTR myself for so long?
Click to expand...

No, it's probably because we all want people we're attracted to as friends, not just mentally compatible but physically too. Even if bonking your friend isn't on your mind, pretending you WOULDN'T tap dat ass if your circumstances were different is just deluding yourself. Not that I'm suggesting you're deluding yourself, just saying that people would rather spend time with people they're physically attracted whether or not sex is the intention, but as a result of the physical attraction (and obvious mental compatibility) sex could still be the unintended consequence.

To further that point, gay guys get jelly if their boyfriend is spending time with other guys even if the other guys are known to not be gay. Interesting stuff
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top