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internet date

pofacedhoe

pofacedhoe

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
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met some dude off gaydar having chatted to him over christmass on a daily basis to pass the time for two weeks

went for a date- he's really hot and initially i got what i thought was a positive reaction but now its gone to ignoring me. after initially responding to texts. if you're not interested just say:\

i want to move on to the next because if this is what a relationship would be like with this individual then hmm thats going to fun:|

its just difficult to meet attractive intelligent gay men that are relationship material.

here's to meeting someone in real life first

i guess this is my comeuppance for all the times i have ignored one offs after they try to get back with me. in that situation i never responded. if you're going to be all friendly in response you cant also expect random ignoring to have a clear meaning.

when i ignore someone i do it harsh- just no response or i'm really obvious about whats going to happen. none of this ambiguous shit

this shit pisses me off because i kind of spilled my guts a little bit and now i'm coming to realise that maybe its better to not tell people much about you at all. even though that is to my mind a form of time wasting. whats made me really pissed off is i never got to bang because if i did this whole thing would be flipped round the other way.

some kind of backbone based answer would be nice. i am not needy and can move on easily but this shit hanging in the air without the deal sealing lay/going forward with more dates/clear rejection (which although not what i want i can take). annoying

also its annoying as its distracting me from course related concerns. grrr

hmm foolish

any advice?
 
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Nothing you can do really. If I was you I would stop ignoring people when you're "done" with them and give them an honest explanation instead. Not because I believe in karma or any of that bullshit, but when you hurt people and it happens back to you then you react 100x worse.
 
If I were you I just wouldn't wait around for him to make up his mind or whatever. Go on other dates if you want, go on with your life and you'll see if he contacts you again and how he acts then.
 
Effuzion said:
Nothing you can do really. If I was you I would stop ignoring people when you're "done" with them and give them an honest explanation instead. Not because I believe in karma or any of that bullshit, but when you hurt people and it happens back to you then you react 100x worse.
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yeah i see what you mean. with the last one off bang it was more a case of when they texted me instead of saying i'm not interested i didn't text back. also i made it clear whilst after fucking them i wouldn't be seeing them again soon. so i am kind of clear... lol

i really wanna go on dates but i'm kinda giving the benefit of the doubt a little as he's working 1 full time job and doing another in his free time to try and build a career. i just dont think i have time for that shit. what gets me is i have managed to get to know quite a bit about him and vice versa before the date so its not in the same realm as a first date in my mind. it pisses me off that i felt like i found something that might be of quality on the net but as usual it turned out to be cornflakes
 
Awww, poe, that sucks. I did Internet dating once and didn't like it at all. I've met people I've known online, but it started out as friendships and then just escalated. The whole meet someone and then go on a date felt awkward to me.

Mind telling us your age? I find it's really hard to meet people when you're older only because they either have loads of baggage and want to ax murder their exes (scary lol) or they are going through their midlife crises and want to date 20 women at a time. lol I really just want to have a good time, but I don't want to date someone who is an asshole and has no interest in a relationship.

Bah.. Just keep going and meeting people. It sucks when someone is super hot and then runs cold out of nowhere. Personally, I see that as a sign of baggage and him not being open with you. I can handle baggage, just tell me and I'll give you your space. Some people grow distant, and that is just super annoying.
 
Lysis said:
Awww, poe, that sucks. I did Internet dating once and didn't like it at all. I've met people I've known online, but it started out as friendships and then just escalated. The whole meet someone and then go on a date felt awkward to me.

Mind telling us your age? I find it's really hard to meet people when you're older only because they either have loads of baggage and want to ax murder their exes (scary lol) or they are going through their midlife crises and want to date 20 women at a time. lol I really just want to have a good time, but I don't want to date someone who is an asshole and has no interest in a relationship.

Bah.. Just keep going and meeting people. It sucks when someone is super hot and then runs cold out of nowhere. Personally, I see that as a sign of baggage and him not being open with you. I can handle baggage, just tell me and I'll give you your space. Some people grow distant, and that is just super annoying.
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i'm 27 but i dont have a sign round my neck saying gay so i get attention from females, but no men

kind of irritating. therefore i know i'm attractive but its still hugely frustrating

i really want to meet a guy in real life and have it begin from a friendship but i hang around with people because they are clever and fun rather than being a gay stereotype. i'm not cliquey so its hard to have gays in my social circle that also tick a few boxes

plus when men "act gay" (and you know what i mean) its a social construction that really turns me off
 
i hang around with people because they are clever and fun rather than being a gay stereotype
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Me too, and it's frustrating cuz the assholes are usually the smart, funny interesting people. lol Plus, I work in IT and it's IT people who I can relate to. A lot of IT people fit the stereotype of socially awkward nerds or huge assholes who think they are better than anyone around them. The rise of the brogrammer is coming, and those guys are fun to hang around.

You're in school if I'm not mistaken, right? Do you keep it hidden that you are gay? Might be part of the problem, and I don't know how awkward or difficult it is to make it known without being flamboyant or obvious. I've worked with people who I had no idea that they were gay until someone told me. The one guy I am thinking of met someone at work at a work party after it kinda got around that he was gay. He took off with the guy to work remotely and live together. Hopefully, it works out for them. That whole part must really suck, because we straight girls/guys don't have to make those types of announcements. It might help if more people know you're gay, though. I mean, I don't know how weird or awkward that would be, but it might attract the right people instead of you dealing with girls making moves.
 
Dnt let it get you down dude. My best friends are gay guys that met on an internet dating site. They've been together over a year and are very happy.

There is someone out there for every1, and you'll find yours too. I would forget about other dude though.
 
actually i have a sexy guy popping round tomorro for a bit of sausage chomping. what annoys me is i felt there was some kind of depth there, plus i dont put effort into anything without expecting a gratifying reward which i feel i've been deprived of. hmm self entitlement is a bitch of an ego lol
 
Well dang dude, sorry it didn't work out.. Don't give up on finding a decent guy though, they're out there.
 
That sucks. I hope you are okay It is best not to force others to become the person that you need.
 
well its best for me not to place too many eggs in one basket. and i wont be doing it again anytime soon.

its like the analogy about buses, i have more than one lined up this week. good going i guess.;)
 
po, you seem like a cool dude. You're gonna do fine. It's just that there are way more duds out there than cool people you can click with. So it seems like you can't meet anyone.
 
I am gay, try meeting men who are more relationship/dating oriented and who are not so sex driven. We are out there. I am older than you and I did have a few hook ups when I was younger but they are not something I enjoy. I am not sure the age range of men who you date? I am in my early 40s now and I pretty much date or get into partnerships with bisexual and gay men who are older than me or around my age, or at rare times in their 30s if they have their stuff together. Also for me if I date a man and all he mainly wants is just sex I am honest and just tell him no thanks I only have sex with men who I am dating long term or in a relationship/partnership with. Also some of the best relationships I have had with bi and gay men happened because we were friends first and met in public and not online, on cellphone apps for hooking up, or in a bar or dance club.
 
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