Increasingly annoyed by my existence

[washingtonbound]

Lately my mental health has been going down quite a bit and I'm not sure what the exact cause is. It has really flared up in the past week, which I initially thought was nicotine withdrawal related, but I don't think that's all of it. Basically, I left the US a few months ago looking for greener pastures, but my own ugliness follows me everywhere. First I went to Buenos Aires, and two worthless thugs robbed me at 2am when I was coming back from a bar after a couple weeks of being there. This really made me sick. My phone then showed up when I signed into my icloud account and I decided to go looking for it by plugging the location into my apple watch. What I saw then made me equally as sick as the robbery. The slum these thugs lived in was just deplorable. Hundreds of wires protruded into the street and I saw several homeless wandering around with enormous open sores all over their body. God knows what would happen if a fire ever broke out. The odor was was absolutely putrid, and I could just see the desperation in people's faces as they wallowed in the sewer. I do empathize with the decent people who are born into these type of horrid conditions, but in this moment all I thought about was beating the shit out of those goddamn thugs who robbed me. I walked behind a couple police and explained what I was trying to do in broken Spanish, they were absolutely useless. It was impossible to find out exactly where the phone was because these slum "apartments" were stacked on top of each other in such a disorganized way. Anyway, I decided I valued my life more than the phone and got out of there, and the experience left a really sour taste in my mouth.

Shortly afterwards I took a bus to Porto Alegre, Brazil. This dump didn't even appear safe during the day. I started to really realize how detestable most people's living conditions are outside of the tourist zones. It is sad and also pathetic that the government doesn't do jack shit about it. I spent some time in different Brazilian cities, and eventually ended up in Sao Paulo. Basically I realize now that I don't give a fuck about any cities. They all smell like shit to me, and I've started to hate going out. Lately I've been pissed off by the fact that I have to feed myself everyday, because I can't stand going out to eat and am terrible at cooking. I can't understand Portuguese at all, and am constantly bored and dealing with anhedonia. I am miserable everywhere, and hate myself beyond belief. Travel does not bring me pleasure anymore, and I have no skills to get a job. What the hell is the point?

 

[Jeanpauldash]

I dont know. I don't think there's a point. I think the government abuses animals.

The only thing I ever hear is I'm "wrong" about something while im being assaulted.

If they wanted a fucking sociopath why the fuck didn't they create one.

There's not one intelligent person in existence. There is no point.

 

[Jnowhere]

Lately my mental health has been going down quite a bit and I'm not sure what the exact cause is. It has really flared up in the past week, which I initially thought was nicotine withdrawal related, but I don't think that's all of it. Basically, I left the US a few months ago looking for greener pastures, but my own ugliness follows me everywhere. First I went to Buenos Aires, and two worthless thugs robbed me at 2am when I was coming back from a bar after a couple weeks of being there. This really made me sick. My phone then showed up when I signed into my icloud account and I decided to go looking for it by plugging the location into my apple watch. What I saw then made me equally as sick as the robbery. The slum these thugs lived in was just deplorable. Hundreds of wires protruded into the street and I saw several homeless wandering around with enormous open sores all over their body. God knows what would happen if a fire ever broke out. The odor was was absolutely putrid, and I could just see the desperation in people's faces as they wallowed in the sewer. I do empathize with the decent people who are born into these type of horrid conditions, but in this moment all I thought about was beating the shit out of those goddamn thugs who robbed me. I walked behind a couple police and explained what I was trying to do in broken Spanish, they were absolutely useless. It was impossible to find out exactly where the phone was because these slum "apartments" were stacked on top of each other in such a disorganized way. Anyway, I decided I valued my life more than the phone and got out of there, and the experience left a really sour taste in my mouth.

Shortly afterwards I took a bus to Porto Alegre, Brazil. This dump didn't even appear safe during the day. I started to really realize how detestable most people's living conditions are outside of the tourist zones. It is sad and also pathetic that the government doesn't do jack shit about it. I spent some time in different Brazilian cities, and eventually ended up in Sao Paulo. Basically I realize now that I don't give a fuck about any cities. They all smell like shit to me, and I've started to hate going out. Lately I've been pissed off by the fact that I have to feed myself everyday, because I can't stand going out to eat and am terrible at cooking. I can't understand Portuguese at all, and am constantly bored and dealing with anhedonia. I am miserable everywhere, and hate myself beyond belief. Travel does not bring me pleasure anymore, and I have no skills to get a job. What the hell is the point?

First off, your life is valuable. Please, don't do anything to harm yourself. Like going into the slums of South America.

They kidnap and hold people like you( foreigners there, for Ransom money.) Brazil was a little while ago was the most likely place to get kidnapped, and they like to cut off a victims ear, and send it too the family, too make a point. They are not messing around, they are serious) They have many kidnapping gangs.

They Torture the victims for info and tie or duct tape them to a chair, for days, weeks, or months and kill them( almost always if they are not paid) Also, do you want to be missing an ear, even if your Ransom is paid. Not to mention the trauma, it will cause you if you live.

It is bad there, and the cops, unless they are raiding a place( with armored vehicles and machines guns and trained snipers, and many of them), avoid going there. The thugs there have machine guns and even Rocket Propelled Grenade launchers. With real RPG's.

South America is notoriously corrupt and in many places extremely dangerous, especially In the favelas, aka the slums.

Your life has value, please don't harm or endanger yourself. As you have seen the world all over has problems, so look for greener pastures here, if you must; and do your homework about the city and or state.( for example many places on west coast; were nice and have become shitholes, like Seattle, and others.)

 

[pixies+]

First off, your life is valuable. Please, don't do anything to harm yourself.

Your life has value, please don't harm or endanger yourself. As you have seen the world all over has problems, so look for greener pastures here, if you must; and do your homework about the city and or state.( for example many places on west coast; were nice and have become shitholes, like Seattle, and others.)

Fixed that for you

 

[washingtonbound]

First off, your life is valuable. Please, don't do anything to harm yourself. Like going into the slums of South America.

They kidnap and hold people like you( foreigners there, for Ransom money.) Brazil was a little while ago was the most likely place to get kidnapped, and they like to cut off a victims ear, and send it too the family, too make a point. They are not messing around, they are serious) They have many kidnapping gangs.

They Torture the victims for info and tie or duct tape them to a chair, for days, weeks, or months and kill them( almost always if they are not paid) Also, do you want to be missing an ear, even if your Ransom is paid. Not to mention the trauma, it will cause you if you live.

It is bad there, and the cops, unless they are raiding a place( with armored vehicles and machines guns and trained snipers, and many of them), avoid going there. The thugs there have machine guns and even Rocket Propelled Grenade launchers. With real RPG's.

South America is notoriously corrupt and in many places extremely dangerous, especially In the favelas, aka the slums.

Your life has value, please don't harm or endanger yourself. As you have seen the world all over has problems, so look for greener pastures here, if you must; and do your homework about the city and or state.( for example many places on west coast; were nice and have become shitholes, like Seattle, and others.)

I hate these worthless slum thugs who do this kind of shit. In southeast asia for instance, you have a lot of poverty but not nearly the extreme level of violence. Why are there so many filthy thugs in latin america in comparison?

 

[Jnowhere]

Fixed that for you

You can go to the conventions with The Redneck Social Justice Warrior. Even the victim used slums.
There are slums in South America. Gonna fix that too.

Hey, the victim is more non PC than me.
Read above you. He ain't mad at me. You are being like a thought police character out of 1984.

 

[Jnowhere]

Okay you have a sense of humor, I try to honest.

 

[washingtonbound]

You can go to the conventions with The Redneck Social Justice Warrior. Even the victim used slums.
There are slums in South America. Gonna fix that too.

Hey, the victim is more non PC than me.
Read above you. He ain't mad at me. You are being like a thought police character out of 1984.

When I'm describing these slums, it's not like I'm trying to disparage any of the decent people who happen to live there by unfortunate circumstance. There is no other way to describe these kind of areas. Depressing is an understatement, and unfortunately there are a lot of worthless thugs who live in them, who make life for the normal people miserable.