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Increasing Number of Sexual Partners

Cohesion

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
1,069
Location
Portland, OR
I have a strong conviction that this is a terrible idea.

Even at the beginning of intimacy the risk is enormous to contract something. Herpes (Oral type 1) and HPV can be transmitted straight away in spite of an A+ pre-sex conversation. The potential partner can transmit these unknowingly-- and that's just the beginning.

I've been looking around to find out exactly how prevalent some STDs are. It varies depending on race and geographic location (even between states in the US).

My conclusion is that the exact numbers don't matter:
If I'm playing craps in a casino, and STDs were the casino? Totally betting on the casino.
 
The USA is known for disease like the whole US has more STDs than any other country and with todays generation and people thinking sex is like porn were all in danger and no one wants herpes ever cause it stays forever
 
you realize that most people have oral herpes already?
your grandma probably gave it to you when she kissed you as a baby

95% of people have oral herpes, most however do no exhibit symptoms
 
Actually it's about 58%. I'd have better odds at the Roulette wheel.

I'm thinking about this because I kissed someone in a bar last night. Ugh. I'm having dinner with him in a bit for the single reason of checking out his mouth area.
 
Welcome to being human. These are the balancing forces that strive to keep humanity in check, just like with every other species.. except we think we're better than nature/can outsmart it.
 
Sexual contact of any kind is biting the bullet, whether you use protection, have a pre-sex convo, or not. Caveat emptor, and a few other clichés...
 
I disagree that more sex partners by default has to increase your risk. The nature of your relationship with said partners matters a lot. Are they casual hookups that you barely know (i.e. one offs), or people you are good friends with and can be open about your histories?

I have several sexual partners and I trust all of them. We have open communication when we are with anyone else. Besides, we play safe anyway.

IMO the biggest risk factor to catching an STI is lack of communication with a partner. If they are offended by your questions then they are probably in denial about sexual safety and you should be cautious.

I've been lucky to avoid oral herpes. I notice people's mouths and look for this kind of thing. I don't want it. Other thing is, herpes makes you more likely to be infected by HIV if you are exposed to it.
 
If people would watch out and be careful, there would be no STDs. Truth is brutal.

Furthermore I'm unable see the benefits of a rather high number of sexual partners. After a while you will forget the numbers and the events anyway.
 
I realize that my view is not that of the majority, but that's fine with me.

I think that STD's are over-hyped and rubbed in teenagers' faces as a scare tactic. (Please don't mistake my opinion as one that thinks STD's are a good thing, or not something to consider, or anything along those lines.)
I'm mostly referring to the diseases that are more easily cured as opposed to those such as HPV, HSV II, and HIV (which I fully believe does NOT cause AIDS. Yes, I can back this up with lots of proof.) Anyhoo, I digress...

Truly, I would rather catch chlamydia than have the common cold or flu. (again, many will probably misread this and question weather or not I am aware of the possible long term side effects of chlamydia, and yes, I am very much aware and educated on pretty much all possible STD's.) I can say this with confidence because I get checked quite often. At least every 3 months, if not more. I feel that it is my responsibility to be aware and conscious of my own body and dealing with unfortunate things that may happen to it if I choose to put it into a risky situation. I know a lot of people who have unprotected sex with multiple partners and haven't been checked in years. I find this pretty irresponsible. It's like having a bad case of mononucleosis (very contagious, and a serious pain in the ass I may add) and going to work and not washing your hands and coughing all over the place. Same thing.

There are those diseases that are the gifts that keep on giving, like herpes and HPV. I really think that these are made out to be worse than they are. Like you should be wearing a star of david on your shoulder or something if you have herpes, like a branded mad cow...(please do excuse my terrible analogies, and I have nothing against the jewish folk). I have had a few (respectable) partners who were honest and had the balls to tell me before we had sex that they had herpes. They explained to me that they have had it for a very long time, haven't had an outbreak in many years, and that's great. I dated a man who had herpes and we had unprotected sex hundreds of times throughout the period we dated, and I never got it. And I was fully willing to risk it, I knew that it was a possibility, and it wasn't that I didn't care, it's that I know if it happened, I would be a mature adult about it and do the research and take the medicines if necessary and use harm reduction to eliminate the possibility of passing it to someone else.

If Americans weren't so damn uptight about sexuality, this 'epidemic' of std's would certainly be less of an issue than it is now. We are taught that sex is naughty, and nono, taboo, and shouldn't be talked about - associate a disease with that, and you've got a bunch of people fucking each other, but not talking about it. I think what people should be doing, is being HONEST with each other. Sit down, say hey, let's go get checked and get it out of the way, if something's wrong, we can work it out, life goes on, shit isn't the end of the world, let's go. Prevention and early detection are the easiest and best ways to prevent the spread of disease.
 
Some people obsess over the purity of their potential partners.

There is no easy way around finding someone who is sexually experienced and also risk free. Life is a gamble, and some STDs are less than others.

As a male, HPV comes to mind.

The safest option is to remain chaste, or spend the rest of one's horny hump days doing yourself, by yourself.

I'd rather have some fun with another. My opinion is based on the experiences I have had in the hypersexualized gay world. My ex had sex with literally hundreds of people over the course of his lifetime and he is clean as a whistle.

Maybe he is a very rare exception to the rule of risky behind bedroom doors behavior. Or maybe the chances are pretty slim if you take all the proper precautions.


:)
 
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Yeah, you can whipe out all risks by simply ceasing life... I don't get this whole safety mania nowadays - that does NOT mean I dismiss safer sex or advocate being careless. But everyone should come to terms with the fact that life is full of risk - and that makes it worth living. If everything was safe, what would be the thrill of it. We all will die some day, and I really feel bad for the person that lives 100 years in a golden cage. I'd much prefer living 50 years full of tension and vitality.
 
I was told by a good friend of mine that you should just assume that whoever you're with is HIV+ and has other STDs, and has been with a million sexual partners and have safer sex, which goes beyond just using condoms for oral/anal sex. He said to do this because people do lie about everything when it comes to sex including their HIV status or STD status and some people have HIV or other STDs and don't know it.
 
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