Yeah, dont worry, most guys at least at a point of their life find themselves there. Lots never find a way out, a way to deal. You need to stop taking it so seriously. But at the same time, you say youd like to sleep with a girl and not fall for her or feel things. That is a matter of the moment, if she also wants that and its not your decision per se. Dont try to intentionally become an as+hole who doesnt care. You obviously are a nice dude, dont go change now. There is nothing manly or macho about being cold and distant, sleep and discard type of guy. That doesnt mean you need to fall in love, only means to let yourself feel, dont become a douche.
That said, you say youre nervous. I knew a guy, who would ask as many girls as it would take when we went out, until one would say yes to him. And he wasnt a douche or anything. He just didnt really care if he got rejected. Different tastes, different vibes, dont take it as an insult or anything. What im trying to illustrate is like others have said, dont fear rejection. More so, dont be afraid to go talk to a girl. You have to realize, they also want to meet someone. Nobody wants to be alone. And if they already have someone or if they dont think youre their type do not freakin take it as something bad. Why the hell would you even want to be with someone who doesnt like you. Be glad she said no.
Also, and IMO one of the most important things in dating, never ever idealize girls. Dont project on them your wishes or put them on a pedestal. They put their slippers on in the morning just like you, brush their teeth and have breakfast. Shes not any better than you nor you any less than her. It is so so silly to fear trying to ask her out. Try seeing it as a fun thing, be happy you even have the chance, be happy youre even alive and can do this. Look forward to spending time with her. Too many guys start worrying about the date and how it will go and where to take her. IT doesnt matter, just relax, talk to her, ask her what she likes. Girls respond so much better to guys that dont stress and worry and are nervous for no reason. Nothing bad can happen. Nothing.
Seriously, please for the love of whomever dont go approaching girls with this tension and fear "oh theyre so hot and perfect" and im not good enough. Never do that to yourself. Rather realize that theyre dressed like that for you, they put on their make up and sexy clothes to look good so that you would like her. They dont put on their best dress and then hang out home all alone looking at themselves in the mirror. Appreciate that, tell her she looks good, comment on her hair that she look cute or whatever. She wants you to like her. So so many dudes go to girl dreading and fearing whether or not she will accept them and like them. They become paralyzed. Dont do that. Remember girls feel like that too, they want to be liked, and much much more than guys (un)fortunately. Magazines, the make up, the culture is much more cruel to women in this regard and the burden it puts on them with regards to their looks. So be nice, be kind. But dont go all slobbering over her. Just like you wouldnt like a girl who would be desperate. Which is again that taking it too serious thing. Seeking acceptance, approval. Dont go there.
Look at it simply like this. You both want the same thing. To have fun in each others company. Comfortable, nervousness free company. Forget about movies and picture perfect dates. Never burden yourself with the thought of how it should go and if youre funny enough or whether it is going well. That just distracts you and ruins it. Just hang out. And Its good for the first date to have some things to talk about, maybe prepared in advance, it might help if youre still a bit nervous. Just memorize a few topics beforehand in case you have a mental block.
So all in all, dont hesitate to ask a girl out. You both want company. And trust me that the saying "better to regret than to never try" is as true as hell. Believe me that you will regret the hell out of not asking this or that girl out later in life. All the missed fun you couldve had. Pull back a bit mentally on your life now and try seeing the bigger picture. Youre free now, prime of your life. Soon down the line youll have work and more responsibilities, girls will become women, marriage will become more and more a factor, things wont be so easy and light. Dont waste this time. Youre both just two people trying to enjoy life.
uff , really strained my fingers on this one. I hope you appreciate my time
kept us posted when you get a date (next week,or even better this one, Im expecting you to!!
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