hey guys
so i thought id just describe my situation...i hope someone went through the same stuff...please read until the end
this is the story of my anxiety "breakout"? after a drug binge...before that i never had any issues and i dont take any medication
going back in time ive been using mdma with semi-responsible 4-6week breaks and ive used lsd quite a few times and always
had positive experiences...then in the end of february 2016 me and a friend wanted to have a large dose lsd trip and we felt ready for it...
we took 600ug and it was absolutely crazy...first have very positive second half the most horrific shit i ever went through it got quite extreme
and we decided to calm us down with some diazepam/lorazepam and from what i know because i counted the pills we had left weve taken quite a shitload of them
i woke up the next day and i cant remember what i felt like...must have been really numb the benzos were still going on strong...
then we decided to roll on some mdma/pills
to cheer us up after the quite disturbing and exhausting acid trip...i remember we dropped 200mg and from there things got strange...the roll was very weak too weak
and i started to get some smallhallucinations again...they were the same i had during the really bad part of the trip...but i didnt mind because the benzos had my thoughts numb
because we didnt feel the mdma we consumed 2g each!!!! over the course of the night and the only way i can explain that because we didnt even think about it is that thos benzos were still stron in my system
and therefore i didnt feel anything or think a single straight thought the day after...
that night we took more benzos before going to sleep...thinking back i cant really remeber what i felt like the next day...because of the benzos
the days after i was extremely tired...like falling asleep while taking a shit after i slept 10h the night before...that went on for about 3days...i have major cognitive impairment...difficulty with speech and my memory was fucked...i just smoked weed in that time but i noticed that i didnt feel the high and it just made me feel a little weird could have been a bad idea? (never had any issues with weed)...
then 5 days after
i started feeling really weird/spaced out...i didnt know what was going on at all then i woke up the 5th day after and i was freaking out...i had major DP i didnt recognize myself in the mirror...i was then having a massive panic attack (ive never had one before)...it got a tiny bit better and i tried smoking weed again and it worsended my DP enormously
i thought i was going to die...
the next 2 weeks i just felt fucking going crazy the anxiety was so bad i felt like i was stuck in the peak of a panic attack...then i reasearched...and read about the topic...and this seems like an acute anxiety breakout...now 4months later
i still have the anxiety no panic attacks and the phases where i forget about it got longer with time...but the distorted vision is still there to some extend...whats putting me down most is the thoughts that sometimes get ahold of me like "it hasnt gotten any better you are just slowly getting used to it" "man this will never go away you cant go to uni like that and move out"
also i have mostly when i try to sleep...
this vivid imagery of just gore..killings death and disgusting shit this could be post traumatic from the lsd horror or a symptom of anxiety...ive quit all drugs since then obviously and now i thought to myself would it be possible to have the therapeutic effect from mdma
if id roll with a low dose and could this be beneficial for my anxiety issue? or will i just go in full DP again and not even roll or go in DP/worsen my axniety on the comedown...im scared since i had quite a backfire after i smoked weed 4weeks into my "condition" i dont know what to do since im not sure what exactly led to my current state and how i can combat it
its not like im addicted and i want to use drugs again because they are fun its because i think certain experiences have value and i want to know if ill be ever able to take some stuff again or even just smoke...but most important obviously getting better overall
id really appreciate thoughts on my situation and woudlbe really thankful for any helpful comments of some1 who knows what im talking about or has benn through the same
thanks i advance
so i thought id just describe my situation...i hope someone went through the same stuff...please read until the end
this is the story of my anxiety "breakout"? after a drug binge...before that i never had any issues and i dont take any medication
going back in time ive been using mdma with semi-responsible 4-6week breaks and ive used lsd quite a few times and always
had positive experiences...then in the end of february 2016 me and a friend wanted to have a large dose lsd trip and we felt ready for it...
we took 600ug and it was absolutely crazy...first have very positive second half the most horrific shit i ever went through it got quite extreme
and we decided to calm us down with some diazepam/lorazepam and from what i know because i counted the pills we had left weve taken quite a shitload of them
i woke up the next day and i cant remember what i felt like...must have been really numb the benzos were still going on strong...
then we decided to roll on some mdma/pills
to cheer us up after the quite disturbing and exhausting acid trip...i remember we dropped 200mg and from there things got strange...the roll was very weak too weak
and i started to get some smallhallucinations again...they were the same i had during the really bad part of the trip...but i didnt mind because the benzos had my thoughts numb
because we didnt feel the mdma we consumed 2g each!!!! over the course of the night and the only way i can explain that because we didnt even think about it is that thos benzos were still stron in my system
and therefore i didnt feel anything or think a single straight thought the day after...
that night we took more benzos before going to sleep...thinking back i cant really remeber what i felt like the next day...because of the benzos
the days after i was extremely tired...like falling asleep while taking a shit after i slept 10h the night before...that went on for about 3days...i have major cognitive impairment...difficulty with speech and my memory was fucked...i just smoked weed in that time but i noticed that i didnt feel the high and it just made me feel a little weird could have been a bad idea? (never had any issues with weed)...
then 5 days after
i started feeling really weird/spaced out...i didnt know what was going on at all then i woke up the 5th day after and i was freaking out...i had major DP i didnt recognize myself in the mirror...i was then having a massive panic attack (ive never had one before)...it got a tiny bit better and i tried smoking weed again and it worsended my DP enormously
i thought i was going to die...
the next 2 weeks i just felt fucking going crazy the anxiety was so bad i felt like i was stuck in the peak of a panic attack...then i reasearched...and read about the topic...and this seems like an acute anxiety breakout...now 4months later
i still have the anxiety no panic attacks and the phases where i forget about it got longer with time...but the distorted vision is still there to some extend...whats putting me down most is the thoughts that sometimes get ahold of me like "it hasnt gotten any better you are just slowly getting used to it" "man this will never go away you cant go to uni like that and move out"
also i have mostly when i try to sleep...
this vivid imagery of just gore..killings death and disgusting shit this could be post traumatic from the lsd horror or a symptom of anxiety...ive quit all drugs since then obviously and now i thought to myself would it be possible to have the therapeutic effect from mdma
if id roll with a low dose and could this be beneficial for my anxiety issue? or will i just go in full DP again and not even roll or go in DP/worsen my axniety on the comedown...im scared since i had quite a backfire after i smoked weed 4weeks into my "condition" i dont know what to do since im not sure what exactly led to my current state and how i can combat it
its not like im addicted and i want to use drugs again because they are fun its because i think certain experiences have value and i want to know if ill be ever able to take some stuff again or even just smoke...but most important obviously getting better overall
id really appreciate thoughts on my situation and woudlbe really thankful for any helpful comments of some1 who knows what im talking about or has benn through the same
thanks i advance
Last edited by a moderator:
)