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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Im only 14,yet i can't imagine my life without drugs.

F

Filya

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 4, 2016
Messages
2
Hey guys,new here.
I'll let you know in advance,that my english is far from perfect,as it's not my native language,sorry.
I'm 14 year old kid,and i feel that couple years from now i'll end up being a junkie.
I fear that i'll ruin my life,and ruin my parents expectations.
So far i only tried MDMA,Weed,Speed(amphetamine sulphate,euro stuff),LSD.
From these experiences i understood that im not really into psychedelics,i'm more into stims.
That's what i fear the most,stims. I liked MDMA so much,that im tempted to try some harder stuff,meth or cocaine maybe?
I really want to try them,but i always say "No" to myself. I'm scared,that someday ill say "fuck it" and really do it...
That's the first issue. Second is me hating being sober. All i really want to do is get high,i don't want to live like that,but i feel that i'll end up like that....
 
You're much too young to be dealing with things like that. I'm not really sure what to say cause I've been there myself, hated being sober and still do sometimes... I don't know if you have reasons for feeling that way but I sure had/still have and that makes it all the more difficult.

Anyways trying to engage more in hobbies or interests that you have (unrelated to drugs) is always a good thing. Drugs are sort of an easy fix. Pop a pill and feel good for a while. But there is a certain high and rewarding feeling to accomplishing things too. It just takes a lot of work but on the upside you aren't "cheating" your body, rather you're actually feeling good in a natural way.

I'm sure you will get better advice from other people. I'm in a dark place myself right now. But yeah try to look after yourself.. you're so young.. don't go waste it all getting hooked on some shit.
 
I know you don't want to hear this but you are so young!! I don't think you truly know what you are headed for. Keep saying no! If I knew then what I know now, I would have NEVER started using my doc. Living that kind of life isn't for any one and you have barely begun! Give yourself a chance to live a life. A life where you are not shackled to drugs. You have that choice right now. It's not worth it! I bet there is not one person on here that wouldn't give anything to go back and change their situation.
Just really think about it!
 
Hey man I'm 15 and I know how you feel. I get bored and think about doing more drugs. What usually stops me is I ask myself the question why? I find that I have difficulty answering that and drugs are really just an escape from parts of my life I'm not satisfied with. You really need to find other hobbies or interests. Whenever I have something like that to do I always forget about doing more drugs. Good luck man.
 
Im thirty and it took me a decade to experience enough consequences to say I've had enough. I type this after crying and throwing up because im so psychologically fucked up. I despise my life of drug abuse. Ive abused alcohol, weed, stinks including meth and coke/crack/prescription stims, heroin, pharma opioid and opiates, even duster.Ive been to 7 inpatients, 4 outpatients, lived in three halfway houses, 2 homeless shelters... kicked out of all of them, Ive been in jail 4 times and looking at prison. Been to a psych ward. Suicide attempts. Drug abuse will always catch up with you and slowly but surely destroy you from the inside out.

Its fun at first... but fuck... never ends well. Right now I am fighting to survive. Please rethink your desire to experiment. Personally I think weed is a wonderful medicine. Just be smart. Consequences are very real.
 
Your brain is still developing. If you had a child sitting in front of you, helpless to feed herself, only capable of eating what you gave her, would you not want to feed her something that was healthy, something that nourished her life? Your brain is a physical organ and while it has an amazing capacity to heal, it has limits. You are in charge, even at 14. Be responsible and have respect for your body and mind.

If boredom is a factor, find ways to challenge yourself that have meaning. If you need adventure, its out there all around you but you have to go beyond your comfort zone to find it. If you need something to escape psychological pain, try to first understand what the pain is all about. masking the pain, or temporarily dulling it with being high is only going to deepen it and require more and more for even a bit of relief. Why not explore ways that will in fact heal the pain?
 
Is there any way you can discuss this with your parents? They will be upset and disappointed at first, but they should come around. If you do nothing and end up with a major drug issue that impacts the rest of your life they will be a lot more upset.

There is an underlying reason why you are turning to drugs and it is important to discover what that reason is. I doubt it's just boredom, though boredom makes it a lot easier to use. Try to identify and resolve the underlying issues, and try to find activities that you are passionate about to occupy your time. Try to teach yourself not to think about drugs - when your thoughts start to go in that direction stop and purposely change your focus to anything else.

You have youth on your side - the sooner you get this issue resolved the sooner you can move forward with your life. Good luck!
 
Please give yourself a chance living without drugs if you continue to use psychoactive drugs whether licit or illicit, your chances of living a normal or happy life is slim to none.

You have an opportunity NOW to escape the hell that drugs have caused so many, escape before it's too late.
 
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When I was 14 I didn't want to be sober ever, eventually drugs don't make you feel good anymore. Healthy sobriety is the best feeling
 
Fiya, how are you feeling? I'm sure that the responses you've gotten here sound like all the other adult voices in your life saying, "Don't do drugs!" I hope that you know that everyone here is speaking from the experience of having the need for drugs get out of control.

Human beings love to alter their consciousness and there is simply no way to slap morality on that. People do horrible things under the influence, but they also do wonderful things. People express darkness they didn't even know they had but they also may be spiritually transformed and bettered by a drug experience. My point is that drugs are neither bad nor good, it is our own mindsets that are problematic.

If you are only 14 and you do not know how to live life sober, you have already experienced a lot of pain. What is the pain? Is it even nameable? I abused drugs heavily when I was your age and then went on to a life where I did not use anything for years and years. I had to find the source of my pain and face it otherwise I would have quite rationally kept on using drugs to stay on the run from myself (they work quite well!). Kids confuse boredom with lack of meaning. Our cultures do not foster lives of meaning, in fact they foster lives of meaninglessness so it is no surprise that each generation of lively, creative, naturally inquisitive littel scientists (aka small children) is transformed by adolescence into bored, disconnected beings full of hurt and angst. But, your life is ultimately your own and what you make of it inside your own head. You cannot control circumstances, you cannot stop the trajectory of self-destructive cultures, but you can take the days and hours and minutes and privately and quietly and sincerely apply yourself to the wonders around you, not the least of which is the wonder of your own unique existence.

I hope that you return to this thread. People here care immensely for each other despite the fact that we communicate through screens and user-names and geographic distances--and even language barriers (your English is perfect btw). I hope that you can use this thread to work though some of the confusion you may be feeling. No one will expect you to be anywhere other than right where you are. It is the mission of Bluelight to meet drug users where they are and to give them factual information as well as a welcoming community dedicated to support.
 
Herbavore said it perfectly. I was on the same road as you and going no where fast. Please think about your future, you are talking about some serious drugs. You have your whole life ahead of you. I can understand you may have suffered things you are trying to get away from but drugs are just a temporary fix. There are so many things to experience and do at 14, please seriously read the above posts and think about what they are saying. The poster have all been there and believe me I have seen way too many young kids ruin their life because of drugs.

Most important is your health and safety, that is the main concern. Think about what would happen if you get arrested with some serious drugs. I know a kid who was 16 and he just had some weed and a bong in his car and the cops Tricked him into saying he was going to sell the bong or a little bit of the weed and he got hit with a felony, now he is screwed. He wanted to join the military so bad that was his dream and nobody will take him because he has a felony arrest.

You are in a tough spot,14 is a hard age but you have to fight through those urges and get around those pitfalls, and that is going to prepare you for all that life will throw at you,your fate is in your hands so please just be careful and think about the consequences of getting into heavy drugs.

Good luck OP and stay strong.
 
Thank you for your support,i did have some difficulties and you made me really think about my future,thank you. Altough right now i probably wont completely say no to drugs i've been abusing some opiates,hope it wont come out of control,im very thankful for your true support.
 
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