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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I'm not satisfied with my life

P

PDank

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
4
I never feel content or happy without using drugs. Currently, I'm on my third day completely drug free and I feel like there is no way I'm going to be able to continue my tolerance break. My DOC is cannabis, although I've experimented and thoroughly enjoyed just about every common recreational drug. I use cannabis every day several times a day. My cannabis use has never been a serious problem. My grades never drop below a 3.0, I have no problem holding down a job, or completing responsibilities.

Recently, I've been becoming more and more depressed. The only real relief I get from my depression is getting high. Everything in my life is pretty much good. But for some reason I never feel real pleasure. I hit the gym a couple times a week, I try to eat well, I take a variety of supplements and a multi-vitamin. The things that used to make me happy are just ineffective. Skateboarding, going to concerts, etc. are just not that great.

Within the last few months my urges to use have become stronger. I've been using harder drugs more often. I feel like I will never be satisfied with life. The only thing I look forward to is the next time I get high. I have no passion, no goals, nothing to pursue. My friends are good people, but all of them are heavy drug users who have serious emotional problems. I feel like I can't actually connect or bond with anyone. I feel like my entire life looks like this :|.
I recently decided that my life needs a drastic change. I greatly wish to find something that gives me satisfaction. I decided to take a break from drugs this week to help me get my shit together. My break has gone alright so far except for the fact that I don't feel good at all. Like I said before; the only thing I look forward to is the next time I get high.

I just don't know what to do with myself. Everything should be great. I have no serious turmoil or problems. I constantly remind myself of the starving communities across the globe and all the things I should be thankful for, but for some reason I still can't feel good about life.
 
You're not alone. I'm not satisfied with my life either - not by a long shot. I could list dozens of reasons why. But like the above poster said, who really is completely satisfied with their life? If you can identify a particular part of your life that you aren't happy with, work to change it. The change can only come from you. But remember, take baby steps. You can't make big changes overnight.
 
That's funny.

I don't feel 'content' in any overwhelming sense of the word if I do use them....(mdma excepted lol)
And I feel disillusioned when I don't!
ARGH! WHY WON'T THE DRUGS WORK :X
 
I don't think anyone is completely satisfied with their life, maybe those people who are walking around smiling all the time are truly happy but fuck those people are annoying and sometimes I think they are not human.

It's good that you're questioning things and taking a break, that shows that you're growing as a human being, realizing that you need to make changes to find satisfaction in your life.

As far as weed goes, I never think of it as a bad drug as long as it doesn't prevent you from living your life, lots of people seem to be able to use it without it getting in the way. I'd continue with your break though, when I quit my daily weed smoking habit of many years it took a couple weeks until I really felt a change, my head really cleared up and it was a enlightening experience.

Try and find what you really want to do in life and just do it, easier said than done I know, but that would be my advice. That's what I'm learning, but it's a constant struggle, I always want to get high but I know that isn't the answer so I try and practice delayed gratification since I don't think getting high is a bad thing it's just a matter of balance.
 
umm im in the same boat..i have a good job, i work out every day, i eat right, im nice to people, i have friends, i have a few goals but after i achieve them, i simply want something else...nothing in life really excites me anymore...its like a lower level of boredom has set in and nothing takes it away...i simply work and do whatever else and thats it...i wonder if actual happiness is attainable....?material things mean very little to me..i almost think sometimes if i was materialistic that maybe my life would have more meaning...lol..i dunno..
 
I've got the drugs too, and the parts of my life that I'm satisfied with have little to nothing to do with the drugs. I definitely enjoy the drugs though, but if I depended on drugs and only drugs for satisfaction I'd be one extra miserable motherfucker. As it is I'm only mildly miserable.
 
I smoked everyday for 6 years. Bongs, vaporizers, Hash Oil. I was blown every single day.
90 somthing days ago I smashed my bong. I was done with weed. gave another bong to my friend and said fuck it. I got my dreams back, my health, and most importantly control over my life. Took 65 days to pass a drug test. I workout everyday now and make myself have no time to think about pot. Just quit that shit, its not worth being a "Stoned Head" all the time.

"You FIND out who you are when you smoke, but you FIND yourself when you quit"

hope that helps.
Just think you can smoke later in life, weed isn't going anywhere.
 
PDank said:
I never feel content or happy without using drugs. Currently, I'm on my third day completely drug free and I feel like there is no way I'm going to be able to continue my tolerance break. My DOC is cannabis, although I've experimented and thoroughly enjoyed just about every common recreational drug. I use cannabis every day several times a day. My cannabis use has never been a serious problem. My grades never drop below a 3.0, I have no problem holding down a job, or completing responsibilities.
Click to expand...

Using cannabis every day counts as substance abuse, and if you are using it every day then there is definitely a problem. Even people who have one alcoholic drink a day are considered to be substance abusers. Sure, you may still be able to function in certain areas of your life, but there is no denying that having to use a substance every day is a problem.

Within the last few months my urges to use have become stronger. I've been using harder drugs more often. I feel like I will never be satisfied with life. The only thing I look forward to is the next time I get high. I have no passion, no goals, nothing to pursue. My friends are good people, but all of them are heavy drug users who have serious emotional problems. I feel like I can't actually connect or bond with anyone. I feel like my entire life looks like this :|.
Click to expand...

It seems to me as though you and these friends have much more in common than you realize. You're using harder drugs more often and you have no goals in life. You aren't working toward accomplishing anything greater.

I recently decided that my life needs a drastic change. I greatly wish to find something that gives me satisfaction. I decided to take a break from drugs this week to help me get my shit together. My break has gone alright so far except for the fact that I don't feel good at all. Like I said before; the only thing I look forward to is the next time I get high.
Click to expand...

I think it's going to take staying clean for a lot longer than one week before you will be able to get to a point where you can actually start making positive changes in your life that you can follow through on. Give it a shot. A week is a good starting point. If a week seems too much, try to go a few hours without, or a day, or a couple of days. Hell, if it gets too bad try to focus on just not using anything for five minutes and then for the next five minutes when the urge hits you. It's possible to break away from the drugs, but the way that you phrase things it seems that you are not really ready to accept the reality of your situation and all of the hard work that it's going to take you to change it. It's good that you are starting to realize that you may have a problem, but it seems like you have a long way to go before you honestly want to stop and change things.

I just don't know what to do with myself. Everything should be great. I have no serious turmoil or problems. I constantly remind myself of the starving communities across the globe and all the things I should be thankful for, but for some reason I still can't feel good about life.
Click to expand...

Again, you are saying that you do not have any problems, but just look at your post. You are in a really bad situation in life right now. Your drug use has taken complete control over you. Your life is stagnant. No real friends, no hobbies, and you just keep using to avoid facing reality. I've been there. I know how it is.

The answer is simple: Stop using drugs. Accomplishing that is easier said than done, though, but really, the answer is that simple. You know what you need to do in order to change things for the better, but it's going to take a lot more from you before you want to make those changes. Once you can do that you'll be on the long road to finding more satisfaction in your life.
 
PDank said:
I never feel content or happy without using drugs. Currently, I'm on my third day completely drug free and I feel like there is no way I'm going to be able to continue my tolerance break. My DOC is cannabis, although I've experimented and thoroughly enjoyed just about every common recreational drug. I use cannabis every day several times a day. My cannabis use has never been a serious problem. My grades never drop below a 3.0, I have no problem holding down a job, or completing responsibilities.

Recently, I've been becoming more and more depressed. The only real relief I get from my depression is getting high. Everything in my life is pretty much good. But for some reason I never feel real pleasure. I hit the gym a couple times a week, I try to eat well, I take a variety of supplements and a multi-vitamin. The things that used to make me happy are just ineffective. Skateboarding, going to concerts, etc. are just not that great.

Within the last few months my urges to use have become stronger. I've been using harder drugs more often. I feel like I will never be satisfied with life. The only thing I look forward to is the next time I get high. I have no passion, no goals, nothing to pursue. My friends are good people, but all of them are heavy drug users who have serious emotional problems. I feel like I can't actually connect or bond with anyone. I feel like my entire life looks like this :|.
I recently decided that my life needs a drastic change. I greatly wish to find something that gives me satisfaction. I decided to take a break from drugs this week to help me get my shit together. My break has gone alright so far except for the fact that I don't feel good at all. Like I said before; the only thing I look forward to is the next time I get high.

I just don't know what to do with myself. Everything should be great. I have no serious turmoil or problems. I constantly remind myself of the starving communities across the globe and all the things I should be thankful for, but for some reason I still can't feel good about life.
Click to expand...

jesus, you just summed up my current situation like no other. :(

Just keep trying man. I've been smoking daily for the last four years or so. Longest break I've ever had was maybe two weeks or so up until recently when I went a good three weeks. Well, that went to shit, when last night I got tanked and smoked a few blunts with a few friends. Still feeling the hangover.

Just keep trying is all I can say man. Try to find something that makes you happy. Maybe even something that requires money. Like, for example, I love my car to death. Working on it, driving it, just makes me happy. I like to modify it. So i've been able to cut my smoking by telling myself I rather use all that money I would spend on weed on my car. Has been working somewhat so far. I used to buy a dub a day and that got expensive quick. Now I'm down to maybe a dub a week.
 
3 days. that's a big step for an everyday smoker.

Only info I can give you is keep yourself busy and get rid of everything weed related you have.
I gave my bong to my friend. Got rid of contacts, everything that reminded me of weed. Temptation is a bitch.

Good Luck
 
Sometimes there doesn't have to be a reason to feel unsatisfied with your life. You may be at the onset of depression, which is treatable. I'd suggest either trying therapy or going to see a psychiatrist. Then you'll have a better idea of where you stand. I suffer from major depressive disorder, so I can have episodes where I feel that life just isn't worth living, but with the help of medication and therapy those episodes are becoming fewer and further between. Also they say excersize works, as it naturally raises your endorphins in your brain.
 
keep looking for that passion in your life. and dont give up.

however much you feel dissatisfied with your current life, if you factor in a drug dependence, it will be a million times worse. try to believe that before you get too much further down this dark path.

survive as long as you possibly can and make as many efforts to finding your life passion as you can before the drugs catch you.

best of luck
 
my mum often says that to be happy you have to be stupid. seemingly if you really see the world how it is and aren't sucked in by shallow rubbish (fashions/trends/ new mobiles) then there isn't that much impressive about. not to say life cant from time to time be enjoyable.

my mum says that the thing that keeps her right is her spiritual side (chuch in her case)

material things dont go with you when you die.

i think people have been lead to belive through TV/media/ modern culture that life must be one peak experience after another. in my experience that is unrealistic.
 
pofacedhoe said:
my mum often says that to be happy you have to be stupid. seemingly if you really see the world how it is and aren't sucked in by shallow rubbish (fashions/trends/ new mobiles) then there isn't that much impressive about. not to say life cant from time to time be enjoyable.

my mum says that the thing that keeps her right is her spiritual side (chuch in her case)

material things dont go with you when you die.

i think people have been lead to belive through TV/media/ modern culture that life must be one peak experience after another. in my experience that is unrealistic.[/QUOTE]

That's funny because I have a friend that seems to think each weekend has to be the best weekend of his life and can't just have a weekend in to chill. That's why I don't hang out with him anymore, I just can't hang up there with him.
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I totally relapsed this weekend I got completely fucked up on Friday and Saturday. It felt incredible to get baked again even after such a short break.

But here I am in the exact same position. I really want to hold off smoking until at least this weekend, but i really don't have any motivation not to smoke besides how high I'm gonna get on Friday. Basically I feel bummed the entire time I'm not smoking. I really wish I could be like all the normal kids in my classes; talking, laughing, and just enjoying their day. I don't know how to be happy without drugs. Throughout the last few months I adopted the philosophy that life=suffering and the only reward is escaping death.

I've been trying to get my mind off drugs by doing homework, skateboarding, working out and plenty of other stuff. But at the end of the day, I just do these things because I've been told they'd help, they don't actually feel good or even worth doing. I'm just so depressed and apathetic. I would like nothing more than just to feel good on a regular basis doing regular things. I just don't know how to accomplish this.
 
I have no advice because I'm in the same boat. Life should be good, it really should, but I feel like I can't go out and interact with people or even get my work done w/o some kind of drug. I'm ashamed of myself about this. I have a good job (albeit a bit boring, but it pays well), I'm recently divorced which has had me depressed, but I'm asked out a lot (I'm 41, but apparently look younger, so I'm often told) and noticed by guys, even guys in their 20's, which is good for one's physical self-esteem, but what should be a good life feels empty to me, empty and gray and without any sort of future unless I'm hyped up on something. I don't have any kids, so I feel that since I don't have to be a shining wonderful example for a child, I can just use various substances all the time. I have to have something to perk me up and make me happy and active and able to get going, and then I usually have to have something to bring me back down so I can go to sleep (I have scripts for lorazepam and Ambien, and I have a bit of Valium on hand I got from a friend). It feels really pathetic to me that I've gotten myself into this kind of situation. Oh, and I order high potency kratom regularly as well and if I don't swallow a spoonful right when I wake up and then use something else stimulating, I can't get started with my day because I'm too blah about it, plus my head feels whooshy and I'm dizzy and I feel awful until I take something to get going. When I try to look into my future, I just see really nothing fantastic or great, just me still doing all these substances to get through all sorts of life situations, and I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I really do feel like a complete failure because of this. So, to the original poster, I'm right there with you - you have company.
 
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