I'm Drunk, Is That Necessarily Bad?

[LandsUnknown]

I decided to drink again. I don't know why, but I'm drunk again and I feel generally quite great. I controlled my circumstances better as not to lose my shit. I think that drinking is not my issue so much as that drinking led to issues in my mind that became more obvious when I'm drunk. So, perhaps if I pay attention to my environment and such that I could drink without any issue? I don't know. Though, I do not plan to drink everyday, just from time to time and no crazy amounts like the fucking 6 beers along with a bunch of whiskey I drank the last time. I figure if I drink less and not everyday I'll probably be fine. I'm not physically dependent or anything, so maybe just common reason would be enough to avoid issues. But why for the fucking love of god did I cut myself while drunk a couple days ago? What the absolute fuck?

 

[Grinders Kiefers]

It's as bad as you think it is. In my experience, there were plenty of good times as well as horrible, awful, can't-even-believe-I-did-that times while drinking. I figured out that the latter wasn't worth the former and there was no way I was going to be able to control my drinking to make it so it was always good or even okay. I think spending that much time and energy figuring out "how" to drink is an exercise in futility; it tends to end up the same way sooner or later.

I think you posting this shows some level of insight on your part. It sounds like you've realized that alcohol has been involved in some pretty messy situations in your life, but maybe you don't want to admit how big the problem is. I'd say if you have any doubts about it, your intuition is probably correct and you need to figure out some way to stop or at least slow down. I will say that I think it's very difficult to moderate drinking once you've taken a liking to it, and it may only be possible with some drastic changes to lifestyle and behavior.

What is your health like otherwise, i.e., medication, social life, hobbies, diet, exercise?

 

[tathra]

if you can use responsibly, then its not really a problem, but every problematic user thinks the same thing - "this time will be different, i wont let it control me or disrupt my life again", but typically end up falling into the same trap they fell into before of problematic usage without meaning to or realizing it.

its your life and you can live it however you want, but you should look through your past behaviors and how many times you've repeated this cycle and decide if its really worth it to risk it again. sometimes people can go on to use responsibly after having a problem in the past, but in most cases its better to stay away from your problem substance altogether.

 

[simco]

Grinders is totally right--it's bad if you think it's bad (deep down).

One thing that struck me, LandsUnknown--your plans to moderate your drinking. Now, moderation is a perfectly fine goal...if that works for you, awesome. But depending on your relationship to your DOC, it can be so hard. I tried for a couple years to moderate my heroin use. I finally had to take the less desirable-seeming but simpler road of stopping altogether. For me, keeping one foot 'in the game' just made everything way too complicated. Your mileage will surely vary...just be honest with yourself as you move forward.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

If a drug in question was once problematic, it will be very hard to use with moderation.

 

[aihfl]

Are you self medicating in some way by drinking? If that is the case it will almost certainly progress to a point where you become physically dependent and unable to control when and how much you drink. I am a hardcore alcoholic and speak from experience. Like Simco said, quitting altogether was much more a viable option than trying to control it because I was beyond the point of any sort of control. If consequences were enough for me to stop, I would have stopped long ago. Personally, for whatever it is worth, I think it would be better if you stopped while you are ahead but if you really can control it, more power to you.