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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

if you are heavily depressed please dont do meth

Y

yacob

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 16, 2015
Messages
62
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the brain of a metaphysical figment of my own brai
i cant leave that in the open but just always be safe and dont take drugs that has a riskof ruining your life especcially with mental conditions like depression and all that along those lines. psychosis is breath taking in its power and 1 moment can make you suicidal and it really is something you could do even if your real self isnt capable of pulling through with it. ive been close enough to know how easy it couldve happened and thats what scares me for others
 
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i dont want to boo hoo all over this thread. i dont want you to get down about this or think im asking for anyone's help here because im not, i just need this to be out there so certain people will read when it becomes the right time. i wanna talk about true wonder

earth is a loving, nurturing and beautiful mother. never go a day without recognizing that, not a night goes by in which i dont find a new star to look at wondering if someone is there doing the same thing at me. who knows, there could be somebody with the same questions you do just billions of miles away and made up of entirely different materials. we are all star dust. we cannot be more one with even the most outer reaches of the universe, because thats what we are made from. if something so immaculate can happen to make us, imagine what is out there. one thing that i always did enjoy was my sense of wonder and how it only got stronger with age and didnt stop. looking up into space, very clear tonight. its funny how right now im looking in the direction of an advanced civilization, if youre looking at stars theres 100% chance youre looking out towards life. every time that idea gives me goose bumps....
 
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i am here, Yacob, just at the other side of the line.
i am reading your thread now and will respond after reading.
 
sleepwalker i got nothing but love for you and really hope you are still feeling better than a couple days ago. neither of us can give up but this is insane my head just will not let me rest and it hurts and i really dont know what to do haha i mean its so bad that all i can do is laugh like a twisted psycho, well i am a twisted psycho but you know. i mean it got to the point where i had to take a hit and i was done with withdrawals but anything that takes this away and it still didnt work. which in a way is good because i dont want to do it again as is but i kept that half burnt little bit on foil my friend had like a week ago that i forgot about for this type of reason in case i either wanted it for fun or otherwise down the road...smoking it is weird. i think the foil is probably not good for people to smoke with

the high is more than i really like to have on board. i just dont want to be high because it takes my focus off getting a better mindset and trying to just focus on the universe as odd as it sounds but the possibilities are endless so theres always something to imagine
 
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Yacob, you read my story, and gave me hope, hope that someone sees me.
I know, in perspective of my own life, the hopelessness you feel now.
But your writing is filled with lil things that i couldn't see until you wrote them down.
I tried to write letters to my kids, tryin to say goodbye, but i couldn't finish...

I have had the true wonder come true, after 16 years my God did a miracle and i went from having nothing not even a vein to shoot in, to living my dream.
big house, got married, have 2 lovely kids, and after 9 years of that, my wife cant take care of the kids and im back to square one.
Only seeing what i am without...can't focus on the good things ahead.

I see somewhat of what is happening in my head also happening in yours.
I cant explain the sleepless nights, the unstoppable pain and emotions.
But i can relate.
The nightmares that wake you up and won't go away.
But i feel for you.

Please, stay strong, even if you feel like you have given all you can and can't handle anymore on top.
Even if your story is sad, you made me realise there are people so full of love, that they seem to get all the tears.
And you are NOT alone in this. I may be only a guy behind a keyboard, but i am human too, and suffer with you and care for you.
I want you to have that future, even if your dreams are nowhere to be found.
pm me anytime

love, sleepwalker
 
just sent you a PM.

I got asked by my neighbourwoman/friend where i went yesterday , if i was still making music...
when i answered no..no interest..she said:Now THAT'S a bad sign...
losing interest in hobbys is also commongood.
But i think you're good in expressing in text what you feel, what you go through, keep writing, even how bad life can be, when your still writing, you're still here and won't go unnoticed!
 
Well ain't that common sense? I took it once and I'm addicted. I ain't never gonna be the same again. In fact, I'm gonna keep doing it until I die and/or have no means to get it anymore. You're right. It's a shit drug. But posting on a drug forum saying don't do meth ain't gonna do jack shit. People are still gonna do it.
 
deadendgame said:
Well ain't that common sense? I took it once and I'm addicted. I ain't never gonna be the same again. In fact, I'm gonna keep doing it until I die and/or have no means to get it anymore. You're right. It's a shit drug. But posting on a drug forum saying don't do meth ain't gonna do jack shit. People are still gonna do it.
Click to expand...

Sharing experiences is always a good thing IMO.

I've had a long term issue with stimulants mainly amphetamines these days and as someone who suffers from depression I find them compelling and difficult to truly quit as they relive many of the symptoms for a short while.

I don't think they have any therapeutic value in the way I abuse them and meth seems almost impossible to use in anyway other then abuse IME.

Messing with habit forming and powerful drugs when you have any mental health issue would seem like madness to an on looker but the number of people who do just that suggests to me it's more than hedonism.
 
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