So, I've recently been trying to quit my horrendous, crippling drinking, and although I haven't been able to quit completely (despite several tries)...but I've managed to at least cut back some quantity wise, although it's still alot, and I have been getting less drunk and less sloppy.
The problem is that I find that with less drinking, I find myself doing much more cocaine. I have a tough time being around people that are fucked up if I am sober, and I feel as though the cocaine is helping me behave better when I'm drinking, if that makes sense. It's balancing everything out.
Do other people have this problem? That you stop doing one thing and end up doing more? It's terrible- I feel as though I'm trading one evil for another. Life feels so hopeless sometimes these days, I just cannot imagine waking up in the morning and feeling up to the task of getting through my day without some help.
The problem is that I find that with less drinking, I find myself doing much more cocaine. I have a tough time being around people that are fucked up if I am sober, and I feel as though the cocaine is helping me behave better when I'm drinking, if that makes sense. It's balancing everything out.
Do other people have this problem? That you stop doing one thing and end up doing more? It's terrible- I feel as though I'm trading one evil for another. Life feels so hopeless sometimes these days, I just cannot imagine waking up in the morning and feeling up to the task of getting through my day without some help.