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[sonicwhite]

I havn't dated in 7 yr's. In 05 I went thru a full blown psychosis. It was a humbling experience. Lost my last GF. I have had many chances to be with women. But I turned them all down because I could see into the future that this will prolly make me worse. Now I'm hear today just sliding thru life. Meeting someone is hard for me cuz I'm so shy. But I have a big heart. Oh well I'm happy for all those who have gotten a relationship.

 

[Lysis]

I see a lot of people who say they have a big heart, and that is wonderful, but it goes so much beyond that. Are you taking your meds to control your issues? Do you have relationship issues that might scare someone off? At the end of the day, we all want to be happy, but at the same time, we want someone "normal." Before anyone jumps at me for saying so, by "normal," I mean someone who complements us and our quirks without constant arguing or issues.

So, you have to ask yourself if you are ready for a relationship and what it requires. The honeymoon period is always great, but you need something to offer as well. For instance, if I use me as an example, I have a big heart too but it's to a fault a lot of times. For me to appreciate someone, I need something with goals and ambition and the confidence to be with someone who is driven by nice things and paves my own way in life. I need someone who is willing to take me out and talk shop with me, so I know I will probably only be happy with another computer engineer.

Little stuff like that is stuff you have to accept about yourself, and then find someone compatible with your own life.

It's not easy. LOL But, if you're open and try to work on the shyness (I'm shy too btw ) then the sky is the limit.

 

[Mel22]

^ Good response Lysis.

 

[rangrz]

So, by normal, you mean something not at all related to that word as commonly used. Words exist for what you mean, Lysis, why did you not use them?

* Rangrz renormalizes his relationship like its a group in perturbation theory*

 

[sonicwhite]

I do have a big heart. One that has been crushed so many times that I'm afraid of ever getting back into a relation ship. I dated in 05 and I'm just now getting over the feelings for her. I know she could careless if I died in a car wreck or something like that so I don't exp;ode soaked in self loathing. I just go on about my days as if I'll accept the undenaible truth that I may never be with anyone. anmd I'm fine with that. Our relationship was so fanitical is wasn't even funny. And I wad went thru alot in 05 if you have read any of my posts. I just don't believe I was meant for someone.

 

[-=SS=-]

Perhaps you need to place less faith into a relationship? Not build your entire structure around the relationship? I mean you're ultimately doomed to disaster if you take that approach because even if it works out and you end up old together, what happens when she/he dies before you? I think the problem here is your belief that you need a relationship to feel complete.. I mean naturally you'd feel worried because deep down you already know that another person is never going to complete you, hence the confusion.

See a partner as just another pathetic meatsack like yourself on a short jounrey between craddle and grave, instead of someone who will "complete your heart". Maybe I'm off base here on this, apologies if so.