I want to be in a relationship, no experience

[madGardner]

I'll start off by describing myself a little. I'm pretty young, but smart. I felt in my old public high school girls where not very smart, or they where smart in school, but in both cases also media overload. Concerned with things irrelevant to my own school of thought. I had a girlfriend once in junior high for a few weeks, but nothing serious. I'm not a virgin either though, I've gotten laid about five times but they where just hookups. I'm a bit confused though on how I would go about finding a woman that would be good for me like an equal to bounce ideas with or share things with. I love music I'm learning guitar, I like writing and history as well. I want to be a chemist/ great farmer. I like reading too, and am very into mind and body health. I'd want someone who was serious about taking care of their body as well. I started yoga by myself at home and it's been great. I also use drugs once in awhile, but they're not a big part of my life so I would also like an open minded girlfriend. I wouldn't care if she used substances or not.
So my question is how would I find a woman on my level? As I'm getting older I would like companionship, but as in be loyal to each other in bed and out. I am sort of skeptical about online dating or w/e. I don't have a facebook or anything because I don't feel comfortable with my information online. Haven't had luck finding anyone yet. I have girls that are just friends, that I don't have a physical attraction although I would get it on if it were an option, seeing as I'm single. Should I ask them for advice? Suggestions would be great about anything related to what I've posted.

 

[hiphophippy]

Get yourself a big woman. Or hang out where all the (psuedo)-intelligent women do, by whatever hipster serving clubs are around you. Other than that you have higher education facilities and activist groups. Go volunteer at a co-op or something.

 

[Lysis]

madGardner, what an incredibly intelligent and thoughtful person you are! Where were you when I was your age?

It's hard when you're a teen. Guys and girls are finding their way and determining who they are. It's very rare to find a teen who knows what he wants and has some focus in life. For that reason, you'll have a hard time finding what you want. But, relationships are weird in that they happen when we least expect it. Usually , at that age, it happens when you're just being chill and hanging out with the opposite gender and then conversation strikes and you see a spark and the rest happens.

Relationships are one of those things that you can't push or make happen. They just do. You have your standards, but to be honest, all those standards are shot to hell as soon as you feel a spark with someone. They may creep up later, but initially, it's all about that spark.

It sounds like you're just incredibly ahead of the curve and want something long-term. There ain't nothin' wrong with that. Just keep yourself open, chat with people, talk to girls, and I promise you something will come around.

 

[madGardner]

Thanks guys. For now I'll just stay social and looking. When I get into different classes I'll meet more people with similar interests. I'll also try involving myself in outside school activities. Thanks again, and wish me luck!

 

[artic]

In my experience it isn't worth the effort, there are more productive things to concentrate on. Do what you like to do and hopefully you will meet someone with the same interests. When I was in high school and college a noticed a lot of girls putting on this act where they deny their own intelligence. Maybe they think it is cute, or maybe this culture coddles little girls into thinking if they act that way they can find a man to do everything for them. Let's call it daddy's-little-princess syndrome. Most people don't really mature until their mid-20s, and chances are you won't meet anyone worth your time until then, if at all. I say to hell with "friend-zone" bullshit. I won't waste any time on someone who I don't enjoy on an intellectual and spiritual level, and that shit comes with time and getting to know someone. Looking for someone who is girlfriend material based on superficial perceptions won't get you anywhere. Things develop and relationships evolve or they stagnate and die. Look for a friend first and a lover second. Good luck.

 

[madGardner]

Great advice artic. For now I will focus mainly on my interests and studies, but also keeping an eye out. Guess I'll just have to keep living and meet that person when the time comes.