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I want to be happy, but when something good happens i get sad.

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Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 8, 2011
Messages
1
Im a 19 year old guy, attending college and living at home. I lack self confidence and suffer from depression. I cant say there is any reason for me to lack self confidence. I dont want to sound cocky but i spend nearly everyday in the gym lifting and have once been on a poster for my local gym haha. Im not proud of that really.
People tend to like me, they think im a really happy person full of energy. Im not. Im sad, for what reason? i dont know.

I cope with it however. I go through my days and seem happy enough, nothing excites me though.

Anyway last weekend i had a few friends over, we just hing out watched tv talked and played some games. Late into the night i txted a girl and asked if she wanted to come over. Its a girl ive known for awhile but never had feelings for her, never even really talk to her. she txts me a lot but we never hang out. Anyways she came over and we drank some vodka together while my friends passed out. We decided to get a bit reckless and mess around. No sex. i said no, she was drunk-ish and i feel horrible if i do and then have that person regret it.

This went on from 4am-10:30am she then feel asleep and i went to the gym. no sleep for me but i wasnt too tired. When i came back we all sat and watched tv then i took everyone home later. I didnt feel anything for her then, in fact i was looking forward to getting everyone home. Now a few days later i do have feelings. I already miss that night and just want to relive it.. Thats all i can think about, nothing has made me happy sense and i find myself having a hard time doing anything without wanting to cry.. what the hell is wrong with me.

I should just be happy, but instead its left me more sad than i was before that night. I just want my heart to stop hurting for no reason.


My friends dont understand, they just think im talking. I dont even fully understand, i just want to be content with what i have.
 
You just miss either her or just the feeling of being with someone, that's what I would presume. Do you have feelings for her now? Why not hang out with her again? You're friends. You enjoy each others company. Why not hang out, see how things go?
 
It happends to me to, when I have a lot fo fun with a girl I like, and when it ends, I get depress, espicially when I am drunk. This is why I stopped druinking when I go out, its bacause it gets me more emotional than I am.
 
Love is like a drug to me. I get hooked and then it ends and I go through withdrawals, but when it comes back around I think "maybe this time it will be better." It never is. Eventually it just isn't worth it to try anymore.

I don't have a solution for you. Isolation and giving up is the only thing that I have come up with.
 
^Maybe it wasn't love that you felt then, but a series of complex emotions and reasons stemming off of lust? It's just a question... giving up entirely is someone's prerogative, but it seems wrong somehow.
 
man i know what depression is all about..

I'm 20 years old and have been dealing with depression most of my life. Not to brag or anything, but to give you a perspective; I'm a good looking guy, with wealthy parents that do almost anything to help me, and a lottttt of friends. But when I get depressed for months at a time nothing interests me. Relationships don't interest me, skateboarding doesn't interest me anymore (which i have been doing since 12 yrs old), neither does reading.. no activities do. I just disappear from my whole group of friends for several weeks at a time, just staying in my room, feeling like shit and dwelling way too much over things. It eventually goes away.. after several weeks, but i know it's always gonna be back. No medicine has ever helped me, I don't take any medication anymore. After trying everything from zoloft to seroquil without positive results i gave up.

I am not in a depressed state right now btw. i've actually been doing quite good for the past couple months. It's hard to deal with man I know. Like, why do we have to go through this?
 
You don't have feelings for her man.. You're just looking for something more in your life in terms of a relationship, whether you realize it yet or not.

You want a girl and you want a relationship, and your subconscious mind is trying to tell your conscious mind this. Trust me, I've been there. If you have a lot of friends, try going to parties to meet girls. Drinking is fine but don't get drunk. And if you think there's long term potential between you and a girl, try not to fuck her that night, but whatever floats your boat.

Just realize that what you're feeling isn't necessarily directed toward this one girl you're talking about.

Also, you sound like you're lonely despite having friends. Tell me if you find a solution to this one lol..
 
Love is like a drug to me. I get hooked and then it ends and I go through withdrawals, but when it comes back around I think "maybe this time it will be better." It never is. Eventually it just isn't worth it to try anymore.

I don't have a solution for you. Isolation and giving up is the only thing that I have come up with.
Click to expand...

That's really bad advice to give to a 19 year old guy, who is having difficulties with hes mood swings and feelings atm,
So basically your saying "Your doomed"
And that just confirms someones thoughts such as myself who is 20, but has problems that prevent me being in a relationship easily, that they are doomed and better off being alone. Ive been alone for a year and a half now, and it really sucks, what i wouldnt give to be in a loving and caring relationship with an attractive girl my age.

OP, Sounds like you are quite strong, or at least have a shape/figure to be proud of.
I'd say get back in contact with this girl and see what happens from there?
But i actually back you up on the no sex because they are too drunk bit.

pursue it, but at least you got to first base eh? If you couldnt even get there (Like myself) then your screwed.
 
Shoot, at least I am honest. I said that I don't have a solution. I am not really happy with my decision, but I am at peace with my loneliness. I can accept that I may be alone forever, and have learned to be okay with it. If someone comes along I will always go for it like an addict, but it is so rare that I meet someone I am interested in that I feel it is just better not to think about it most of the time.

We are all doomed in a way. Even if you meet someone and everything is perfect and you get married and have kids and the white picket fence and the whole deal, everything always ends in tears anyway. 'Till death do us part, right? I can count on one hand the number of people I really give a shit about in this world (excluding family). It may be lonely, but shit that's only 5 funerals I gotta cry at. You can't have the highs without the lows. It is either worth it or it isn't.
 
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