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Recovery I want this. I want to live, free of this addiction

KraziKat

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 30, 2013
Messages
458
I am on the fence. Is now the time? I do not want to cave, though an hour ago I would have. I've been here before.

I have so much work to do, but being that I've spent the entire morning reading about withdrawal, recovery, etc., I figure it may be productive of me to start a journal. I feel "okay" at the moment. Took my last oxy last night... was rocking a solid six 30mg a day oxy habit.

Obviously I feel like crap today, but some MJ and kratom have me feeling relatively stable at the moment... I think. Legs are achey and I am lethargic.

How many grams of kratom would you rec for someone with a pill habit of my magnitude? Other comforts I have are xanax, edibles, 1 to 1 CBD tincture. I have so much work to do
 
Hey Krazikat. I can't help w kratom advice but I am a fellow struggler.

Im trying to find better avenues to get clean. Like finding a sub Dr. For starters. Then on to finding a therapist, daily meetings. You get it.

I moved to a new town 2mos ago. Im regretting it. Being on unfamiliar ground is making it more overwhelming for me.

Yes I think getting clean is the right decision. You know the drill. And you'll get there when you get there. I wish yli the very best. <3

Getting clean is worth it.
 
So I guess my goal here... if I am truly ready. Is to transition to kratom this week, and go back to using it as a form or ORT or MMT or whatever its called, and then taper off the kratom. It's going to suck, but a slow suck maybe.
 
Hey Krazikat. I can't help w kratom advice but I am a fellow struggler.

Im trying to find better avenues to get clean. Like finding a sub Dr. For starters. Then on to finding a therapist, daily meetings. You get it.

I moved to a new town 2mos ago. Im regretting it. Being on unfamiliar ground is making it more overwhelming for me.

Yes I think getting clean is the right decision. You know the drill. And you'll get there when you get there. I wish yli the very best. <3

Getting clean is worth it.

Thanks so much. Sadly I do know the drill. So many WDs, so many half hearted attempts... :(
 
Oh how I'd love to make this my last withdrawal...

Just picked up lope, tagamet and white grapefruit juice. Have never used these before for WD. Advice? Kratom does not seem to be cutting it.

I also have three .25 or .5 pieces of sub. Probabaly about a year old.
 
150 + mgs of oxy a day is just unmanageable and unsustainable, right?
 
^^ Yes!! Lol. For you, it is. For me it would be as well. I was on 400mgs of OxyContin a day. (5 80mgs) And it still wasnt enough.

I hope this is your last w/d too. I'm so sick of this crap. Using for a few days, sick for 3. Then anxiety and depression for a few more days. Then finally level out . Then rinse and repeat. ????????????

Only you can decide if you're ready. Either way- we're here for you Krazikat.
 
Those question marks were emoticoms. Wth? I can't edit on my phone or it will delete the entire post.

8( :)
 
Kratom didn't help me. It made me anxiety ridden and extremely nauseated.

Hope you're having a good day today. ;)
 
Thank so much, 10Years. Your responses are helpful and reassuring.

Today it's kratom, 6 mg lope, and 30 mg ritalin to try and shake this sluggishness. Sitting here at my desk with mounds of work to do with the most distratcing RLS.

I actually slept last night thanks to .5 xanax, 200 mg gabapentin and a little vodka. Slept from 9 to 7.
 
I'm not condoning this- but a higher dose of loperamide is needed to help w withdrawal. 6mgs doesn't touch w/d. I took about 70mgs today (35 capsules) Again, I'm not condoning this dosage. And you have to decide if that's ok for you, safe, etc.

I still don't feel perfect. But certainly better then if I didn't take it.

That's a good amount of sleep while detoxing! Do you attribute that to the Kratom? Hang in there KraziKat. We're going to get this right eventually.
 
I just cannot focus on work! It's killing me... obsessed with my WD symptoms.

The sleep, I attribute to the gabapentin and xanax, and liquor. I was shocked I stayed asleep more than anything,
 
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