Recovery I think it's time for a Recovery Journal!

[JerryBlast]

Hey folks, I am going to make this quick and short although I will edit this post to have some backstory about me and not so much about just the addiction. I wanted to transfer over to a new thread because I am roughly two weeks clean now and although this is not much time I feel like I have made leaps and bounds to achieve this goal of cleanliness. I now work two part-time jobs that I applied for immediately after quitting. I had to keep myself busy. My next obligation was cleaning my appearance up, get shaved, new clothes. Not everyone has this help but if you do want to get this help your community will offer it. I have a resource center here that has helped me before I even got clean. I just decided that I could go through the resource center and let them guide me to a goal or I could buck down and get my act together and propel myself towards my own goal. 12 Days later and my life is completely turned around. It doesn't have to take 6 months or a year. It takes as long as you decide and you have the fully capable mind as a human being with extraordinary capability if you can just put your mind to it.

Anyway, this is the link to my addiction back-story: My Successful Attempt to Quit Heroin!


So far, I am working minimum wage and that is what is keeping me busy. My dreams and passions that I once threw away are what keeps me alive inside and the ever going process of striving to move up and have more of a stable life is also keeping me going. That's all I can think of, for now, it's my day off! I am not a novel writer so I am going to reply to any questions people have or whatever this thread can be used for to help others in their journey basically. I have mine figured out! Now, maybe I can help others?

 

[lazydullard]

sounds good jerryblast. congratulations on your successes thus far.

 

[JerryBlast]

Good morning! Two weeks clean and I am feeling great. Sometimes I get down in the dumps but I do everything I can to turn that frown upside down. Sometimes that feels like a front but I fake it until I make it. Eventually, something catches my interest in life and I can use it to generate a little more genuine happiness. An ongoing cycle of filling gaps but it doesn't have to be looked at in that way either. Don't get me wrong I am not walking around depressed and sulking. However, there are times where the lifestyle I had crosses my mind and I get a bit moody that things have changed. To say the least though it wasn't healthy and even though I would love to believe I was surviving just fine, I wasn't...

Another perspective says that this is a unique opportunity to accomplish things I would have never been able to do while I was skyrocketing into rock-bottom. I have a bunch of ideas and I am sometimes one to become over-ambitious. I am just trying to keep myself entertained and occupied. The best thing I can do is focus on making the choices I know are right. I haven't found myself in a long time so I am struggling a bit to decide what that is for me. Not so much right and wrong choices on a scale from good to bad but what is right in my life and being able to sense that. I am well tuned with myself and am pretty good at laying down my path and guiding my destiny. I just need to discover within myself what it is I want to focus my free time on.

 

[herbavore]

The best thing I can do is focus on making the choices I know are right. I haven't found myself in a long time so I am struggling a bit to decide what that is for me. Not so much right and wrong choices on a scale from good to bad but what is right in my life and being able to sense that. I am well tuned with myself and am pretty good at laying down my path and guiding my destiny. I just need to discover within myself what it is I want to focus my free time on.

That is a good way to approach things. Dividing even your own choices into the good/bad binary paradigm is usually not as fruitful as deciding what feels right to you and asking yourself why. It seems your strength lies in listening to your deeper self and that is a very good habit to nurture.

 

[JerryBlast]

Well, so far I feel pretty good. I have a much easier time now than I ever have before but it is difficult working both jobs. Right now 3 days out of the week I work 10 - 12 hours. The other two days I work 7 hours. Roughly 45-50 hour weeks. Then it will probably pick up to 55-75 . I am enjoying not being broke financially but I don't know how much I will get broken physically or mentally from these shifts haha. So far I have just been keeping my head calm and collected.


I haven't stopped smoking weed, although I have been smoking a lot less recently than I used to. I was smoking wax and flower all the time like I would smoke roughly an 8th a day. I probably smoke maybe a half gram of weed a day now though. That is a pretty impressive leap I would say. Having the jobs do help though, no time to smoke haha

I am getting job offers from other places but I am not sure what I am going to do yet. I am pretty stable working these two jobs and I don't think it would be wise to make any major changes right now as I am just getting back on my feet. Who knows though, if the right opportunities came along I wouldn't look away that is for sure.

Things are looking up so far. I am in the works to getting myself prepared to save for another vehicle and possibly another place. Keepin' on the up and up! %)

To everyone else out there trying to get clean, I know you can do it! It takes a lot of effort and dedication but it is truly worth it. Once you have your life back in your hands it is limitless from there. I wish you all the best!

 

[D_K1984]

You're doing great Jerry! Definitely a inspiration.