Mental Health I think I need help.

Lacy

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 9, 2016
Messages
9
I don't know what to do and I don't know who to talk too but I do know I need help. I'm a damager. I ruin things because of my "disorders". Relationships, friendships, family everything. My emotions are different than pretty much everyone else. This is a conclusion my doctors and I have come too. I don't feel love the way people love. I have a very short temper and I don't understand many situations. I've never met anyone with the same problems as me so I don't know how to work through it. Honestly I don't even know if I explained it very well. I don't ask for help easily, this is very hard for me. So please, someone, help me.
 
Best thing to do is get into a psychiatrist and get a firm diagnosis. You won't really know what to do or how to treat it without one. What you describe can fit into a number of different diagnoses, and finding the right context for your symptoms will be very important. For more immediate help, see what therapists you may be able to get into quickly while you await an appointment with a psychiatrist.
 
Ive been diagnosed with an emotion disorder, severe anxiety, personality disorder and I black out. They can't control the black outs, but when I do I hurt myself. I've waked up bloody 100 times. The last time (about a week ago) I beat myself with a metal rod. I see 3 therapists but nothing seems to be helping. I've tried for a very long time to deal with this but nothing has helped. I don't know what else to do so I turned to the Internet.
 
Have you tried any medication? Or even a hospital that offers help to mental health patients. Hospitals are usually more well equipped to deal than regular doctors
 
I'm prescribed seroquel that I stopped taking because I didn't like how it made me feel. No my doctor doesn't know I stopped taking it. I have kpins for my anxiety and then I have other meds for my pain management but I'm not concerned with that. I've had 2 MRIs in the last year everything came back fine. Honestly I'm more looking at the emotions and black out issues. I don't know anyone with these problems and my therapists just tell me to read shit. Well I do, I read a lot. Nothing really adds up.
 
These blackouts, is it like a fugue state? That sounds pretty scary. Have they found out what it is? Like what causes it? Could it be dissociative personality disorder? (split personality disorder). You said you see 3 therapists? It might be better to just commit to one so you aren't spread so thin. You might want to see an actual psychologist and psychiatrist as they are more qualified to help you with something so severe.
 
I see one psychiatrist for meds and they have me seeing 2 psychologists so I can be seen more often since one can't get me in as often as they think I need it. The black outs are always triggered by severe bursts of anxiety. Whenever I get that upset I just black out. I only kind of know what happens when I go because only 2 people have seen it happen. I always hurt myself but I don't know what happens when I black out while I'm alone. That's what scares me the most about the black outs. Anybody have any tips about the emotional numbness I've been talking about?
 
The 2 people that seen me black out said it looked like I wasn't even in my body. My face has no emotion. Even as far as saying it looks like something out of a scary movie. I don't know what to do with that.
 
i think you should be hospitalized so that you dont hurt yourself, just until you figure this out, that way they can see you every day and help you much much faster
 
i guess I've never thought of it being serious enough to hospitalize myself.
 
I honestly think a hospital is the best option for you right now, and I say that because of the blackouts. These qualify as an emergency situation, especially since you might harm yourself while in such a state. The blackouts have to be addressed before anything else can progress with your treatment.
 
I do try to pick my battles as some might say. I try to walk away but even then certain things just set it off. I don't know why. Yes, I have hurt myself rather severely while in those states. But how does one feel things? Does anyone have a problem with emotional numbness? Could the numbness be caused due to the blackouts? I just have so many questions that my doctors aren't answering clear enough for me.
 
Try small doses of psilocybin mushrooms for a month or longer. around .5 g of mushies a day or a little less. should help with empathy and anger and has helped some with psychopathy and such. can also help with depression. don't take enough to actually trip. micro doses.

Most psychiatric medication will numb you in some way if that's what you are trying to avoid. I would avoid APs personally. Prob the opposite of what you are looking for.

best of luck. :)
 
I've actually thought of doing that for my cluster migraines but never thought about trying it for this!
 
yeah anti-psychotics have some pretty terrible side effects. When I was on seroquel I gained a bunch of weight and I ate in my sleep. It was crazy.
 
I stopped taking it. I told my doctor and he warned me I could have my manic moments again and black outs might not stop. But I felt blank. I don't like taking it so maybe this will help me in the long run.
 
I would def go the hospitalization route. Just to keep you safe and they can study you and come up with a good diagnosis and you can get some relief. Ive been on Serequel and what i went thru ive heard same from other people, it sucks. Im on Latuda and Lithium and they work great but you dont sound manic deppressive. Sounds like some sort of phycosis. They will be able to help find you a stable Dr in the hospital. Ive been in 3 times myself and really got me straight this last time. Id been diagnosid schizophrenic fr years and had suicide attempt so i went in after they stabalized me and they were very helpful. If youre hurting yourself in blackouts i can imagine anything more dangerous. Im glad you logged on for help. We may not always relate but we care. Take care and think about inpatient. Im rooting for you and keep us updated or message me anytime.
 
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