Opioid420z
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2008
- Messages
- 227
As of April 1st, I checked into a detox. Today is the 18th of April 2011 and finally today my legs and arms have calmed down about 80 percent. I'm still up early and have difficulty sleeping, yet with the help of NA a sponsor and the people I met in the rooms of NA and AA I have gotten past the immpossible. Roxicodone addiction. 300 to 400 milligrams in 24 hours is what I got up too before I tried to stop. I tried cold turkey, yet had to get dxm gel caps and pop 8 of them. 15mgs a piece and just wouldn't stop throwing up the entire night, into the next day threw the morning, and thats when I thought I was gona die. I got so scared that I called 911 and that was the best move I could have made for myself. I got to the emergency room withdrawing from oxy, and overdosed with dxm, throwing up, weak as fuck, and ended up thank god in a seizure in the stretcher with an IV in me. I told the doctor that I couldn't feel or move my legs and arms, I couldn't feel them, I couldn't move them, a total cramp and numbness on top of the roxi withdrawl. I had suboxone in my apartment, just won't take it. I hate suboxone with a passion. I was screaming in the ER that I couldn't feel my arms or legs and couldn't move them, the nurse and all the people surrounded me and somebody hit me with a seditive or something, one leg relaxed then the other and I was out cold "THANK GOD!!" By the grace of god the hospital took me in, they didn't specialize in detox, yet had a bed for me and put me in the psych ward and tapered me off the oxy with oxy. I was given 10mgs of methadone within te first hour or 2 of arriving cause I was throwing up badly still and loosing a lot of fluids. That 10 mgs of methadone helped amazingly, and only 10mgs!! Ended up they gave me 15mgs of roxi and "only 15mgs," every 4 hours, then moved the next day to 6 hours, then a day or 2 later to 8 hours, then after about 5 days and the 8 hours was the toughest, they put a .25microgram fentanyl patch on my back. That lasted for 48 hours then they took it off and put another one on without any roxi 15's, the only thing I was aloud to have in between my roxi taper was 2 mgs of ativan, and at night time visteril, "a stronger benedryl," and clonodine for blood pressure.
So I got out of the hospital 7 or 8 days later and went threw it all. All the pain that I had to feel to not wana go back today and use. Yet after 6 years of using everyday, its now the 18th of April and last night was the first night were I was kinda able to sleep. The anxiety has calmed down finally!! I am going to a counseling center to get my medication which I finally agree with,
"Celexa 20mgs." This drug has really worked for me, I have no dry mouth, no side effects, no sexual side effects and its been a few weeks now taking it everyday. I've tried all the ssri's and this one was the only one that has helped me after 31 years. So.......... I hope the next addict gets something out of this, and it does get better, yet you have to go threw a bit of pain and suffering, yet you will make it threw. You gotta look at it like you've been walking with a crutch for a long time and your body has to get used to walking without it. I have money in my wallet, go out to eat, found the most amazing friends in NA that are so genuine and pure that its inspiring to be around them. Addiction is hard to beat, yet so not immpossible. You can do this if I did it, yet you have to want it. AFter you sell all your pride, money, paychecks and whatever fits you, one day you will have enough. Don't withdraw alone, do it in a medical setting IMO thats what worked for me. I declined methadone maintenance, and declined suboxone, declined immodium, and wanted out. I wasn't using the drugs for pain, but more to cover up who I am. Today I"m going to work and able to do whatever I want for today and not use opiates, not heroin, not oxy, not vicodin, not methadone, not suboxone. I"m off...... I wanted it bad enough and still want it today. God bless you all for it does get better everyday you stay clean, the physical is hard for you will be weak, anxious, RLS for a while, yet it does get better and rather quickly if you think about it.
So I got out of the hospital 7 or 8 days later and went threw it all. All the pain that I had to feel to not wana go back today and use. Yet after 6 years of using everyday, its now the 18th of April and last night was the first night were I was kinda able to sleep. The anxiety has calmed down finally!! I am going to a counseling center to get my medication which I finally agree with,
"Celexa 20mgs." This drug has really worked for me, I have no dry mouth, no side effects, no sexual side effects and its been a few weeks now taking it everyday. I've tried all the ssri's and this one was the only one that has helped me after 31 years. So.......... I hope the next addict gets something out of this, and it does get better, yet you have to go threw a bit of pain and suffering, yet you will make it threw. You gotta look at it like you've been walking with a crutch for a long time and your body has to get used to walking without it. I have money in my wallet, go out to eat, found the most amazing friends in NA that are so genuine and pure that its inspiring to be around them. Addiction is hard to beat, yet so not immpossible. You can do this if I did it, yet you have to want it. AFter you sell all your pride, money, paychecks and whatever fits you, one day you will have enough. Don't withdraw alone, do it in a medical setting IMO thats what worked for me. I declined methadone maintenance, and declined suboxone, declined immodium, and wanted out. I wasn't using the drugs for pain, but more to cover up who I am. Today I"m going to work and able to do whatever I want for today and not use opiates, not heroin, not oxy, not vicodin, not methadone, not suboxone. I"m off...... I wanted it bad enough and still want it today. God bless you all for it does get better everyday you stay clean, the physical is hard for you will be weak, anxious, RLS for a while, yet it does get better and rather quickly if you think about it.
