bdomihizayka
Bluelighter
I need help. I am an opioid addict. I just left rehab about a month ago and used heroin half a dozen times. The first I overdosed (chalk that up to at least a dozen now) and the rest of the times I get high- but not the high I want or remember. I just feel warm and dumb. I don't get talkative anymore, I don't get energy, I don't enjoy doing anything and each time I get high, I can't wait for the feeling to go away.
AND THEN I WANT TO GET HIGH AGAIN!!! I k know what the highs going to feel like, that it's not fun anymore, but my reptilian brain remembers those early days and screams for the drug. The cravings are so uncomfortable- I start sweating, no appetite, no interest in anything at all. I don't know how to beat them.
Basically I want to be high when I'm sober and sober when I'm high. And I don't have a habit again yet- I don't know where I'm going with this, but at the moment my head is above the water and in screaming for help. I want this demonic party to stop for good.
AND THEN I WANT TO GET HIGH AGAIN!!! I k know what the highs going to feel like, that it's not fun anymore, but my reptilian brain remembers those early days and screams for the drug. The cravings are so uncomfortable- I start sweating, no appetite, no interest in anything at all. I don't know how to beat them.
Basically I want to be high when I'm sober and sober when I'm high. And I don't have a habit again yet- I don't know where I'm going with this, but at the moment my head is above the water and in screaming for help. I want this demonic party to stop for good.